Strength
by 7starfish7
Summary: He could feel her limp in his arms, hear her breathing slow, and see, oh god could he see, he could see, that she was dying. Guess who wants revenge?  Not your typical Harris story but it does start out that way  M for violence & smut. REPOST
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Decided to redo this. This was my first fic and, looking back on it, I realize how hard it was to read. Now that my writing skills have improved I wanted to go back and clarify some things and redo certain scene. The story line will be basically the same (couldn't ruin the sequel, now could I?") but I am going to go more in depth with some of the emotions and write more detailed chapters. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing but the story line**

* * *

The world seemed to stop. Everything was at a stand still, he couldn't hear feel or see anything around him. The only thing in the world that mattered was in his arms, clinging on to life.

"Hold on," he begged, he actually begged. Elliot Stabler had never begged for anything in his life, but now his life, his world, his everything, was slipping away. They lay there on the cold cement of the alley way praying that help would come soon.

"Elliot," she stirred, "Elliot." Her voice was weak and her eyes were drifting close. She tried to cling to him, wanting the last thing she felt on this earth being the warm comfort that was his embrace. Yes, she tried to cling to him, but her body was unresponsive.

"Liv stay with me!" This time he screamed, afraid that anything less would not make it past the fog she was in. "Liv," he cried out again, "Olivia hang on, help is coming. I can hear the sirens. Listen!" He lifted her in an attempt to make her listen. He knew it was wrong to move a person when then are injured but he had to try something, anything, if it meant she would stay with him even just a minute longer.

"El," her voice was barely a whisper. She wanted to scream; having felt only blind panic. "Elliot listen to me, I have to . . . I have to . . . to tell you." But she couldn't finish. Her head was pounding and the loss of blood was making her world spin.

"What is it, Liv?" Elliot looked down at her and his face went pale. The tears that he had been trying so hard to hold back were now flooding down his face. "Liv!"

She did not respond.

He stroked her cheek in an attempt to wake her but she did not stir. Yes, he couldn't feel, hear, or see anything around him; anything outside of the nightmare that he was now faced with.

But he could feel her limp in his arms, hear her breathing slow, and see, oh god could he see, he could see that she was dieing.

* * *

_**THREE WEEKS EARLIER**_

Olivia had just gotten the last button on her blouse undone when there was a knock on her door.

"Liv? Its Elliot, I'm going to use my key ok?"

Olivia smiled. Since his separation Elliot had been a frequent guest at her apartment; something about not being able to stand the silence at his place. As much as she hated to admit it, she liked having him there. She knew all too well about silence, and loneliness, so she found comfort in having someone to talk to.

The sound of her front door clicking closed distracted her from her thoughts.

"I'll be right out Elliot I'm just changing."

Elliot smiled and looked towards her bedroom door surprised, and blessed, to find it slightly cracked open. Standing just barely in the view of the crack was the back of a very topless Olivia. Elliot shook his head in an attempt to rid it of the suggestive thoughts that now assaulted his mind. As mush as it pained him , and boy did it pain him, he looked away.

"I got pizza," he said as he set the box down and searched her refrigerator for a beer. It was, after all, one of the only things she kept in that empty box she called a fridge.

"You did," she said as she emerged from her bedroom; clad in a pair of short pajama shorts and a tank top, "and here I was about to cook for you."

"Really?" Elliot asked.

"No", she replied with a smile. "What kind of pizza did you get?"

Elliot let out a small chuckle and motioned towards the box. "Supreme, no pineapple, just the way you like it." He watched as she walked towards her table and opened the box closing her eyes and the smell filled the room. _God she is beautiful._

"Thanks El, I was starved."

Her words broke him out of his trance. "Yeah I figured you would be since you have absolutely no food in this house. I saw a bottle of ketchup in there," he joked, "did somebody go grocery shopping?"

Olivia looked up at him and smirked. "I'm sorry; why are you here again," she asked playfully.

"Hey if you want I can take my pizza and le-"

"Stay!" She half shouted.

Elliot smiled as she walked over to her cabinets and pulled out paper plates for the two.

" Well if you insist," Elliot said accepting a plate from her.

They each got a few slices and walked over to her couch where, during these visits, they would usually sit and talk until one or both of them would fall asleep. They both enjoyed these talks; during the past couple of weeks Elliot found himself opening up to Olivia more than he ever did to anyone in the past, including his wife, Kathy.

They talked about the separation, his kids, even his childhood; a topic he did not discuss with anyone so freely. Olivia was just glad to be there and listen; she loved that he felt comfortable enough with her to share his inner most secrets, fears, and hopes.

Mostly, though, she was just glad she could be there for him like he always had benn for her. The two had grown exceptionally close during the past few weeks and they could both feel the spark that was always between them ignite into a flame, though neither would ever think to act on it. Besides the casual and occasional flirting and pretending not to notice when the other was sneaking glances over paperwork, their relationship never crossed any lines.

Elliot and Olivia were both so involved in conversation that they didn't bother to answer Olivia's phone when it rang, but when Elliot's phone rang almost immediately after they both knew who it was and figured they better pick up.

"Stabler," Elliot said into his phone. "Hey Cap. Yeah I'm with her now. Uhh she's fine, we were just talking." There was a long pause and Olivia could tell something had happened. Although she couldn't make out what Cragen was saying she could hear her captain shouting from the other side of the phone. "How?" Elliot looked over at Olivia with concern etched all over his face.

Olivia watched as Elliot tried to control his facial expressions, not wanting to worry her, but he couldn't control the way the color drained from his face and Olivia noticed it right away.

"Elliot what is it?" She asked in a whisper.

"Yeah," said Elliot, "I understand. I'll tell her." With that he hung up the phone and turned towards Olivia taking her hands in his.

"Elliot what happened?" She asked, panic evident in her voice. Hearing it broke Elliot's heart.

"Liv," he began. But couldn't continue, unsure of how to say this to her.

"Elliot," she persisted, "El you're scaring me. Just tell me. Is everything alright? Was someone hurt?"

Elliot was never one to hold back when it came to delivering bad news. As difficult as it was, it was a familiar part of his job and he knew it was best to just say it. So, when he did hold back, Olivia knew something terrible had happened.

"Liv I don't know how to tell you this." He eyes locked onto hers.

"Just tell me, El."

And then he looked down, not wanting to see the distraught look on her face when he gave her the news. "Liv," he began, "Lowell Harris escaped from prison."

**Review?**


	2. Chapter 2

"What?" She hadn't, no, couldn't, have heard him right. Did he just say that Lowell Harris, the one person on this earth she feared more than anyone else, had escaped? Olivia pulled her hands from Elliot's, suddenly unable to stand the contact. "Oh my god El." Her eyes were locked onto the plate in his lap, unable to look him in the eyes.

"Its going to be ok Liv, we don't know for sure that he's coming after you." Elliot tried to reassure her but Olivia just scoffed.

"You're lying," she said, still looking down.

Elliot looked at her with confused and concerned eyes. "I wish I were Liv," he paused and took her ands back in his, "but he did escape"

Olivia pulled her hands back once again and shook her head. "No", she began, "No, that's not what I mean. You're lying about him not coming after me. If he wasn't than Cragen wouldn't have called you."

Although a considerable amount of time had passed since her attack she still never told Elliot about what had happened to her while undercover and Cragen knew this. He understood why Olivia chosen to keep her assault from her partner; she was ashamed.

All her years with SVU couldn't prepare her for that, she had been the one to tell the victims that they had no reason to be ashamed, or embarrassed, or to blame themselves, but now, now that she was a victim, she was ashamed; ashamed at how vulnerable she was, embarrassed by the things he had done to her; how close he had come to actually raping her, and she did blame herself for overestimating her abilities and being so naive and following Harris to a secluded area when she knew she was investigating the violent crimes committed under his watch.

It was because of all this that she didn't tell her partner what she had endured and Cragen agreed to keep the incident to himself. So she knew, she knew that Cragen would have never called Elliot if it wasn't to inform him that his partner's life was in danger.

"Olivia," said Elliot, his voice freeing her from her daze, "Olivia listen to me, I am never going to let him hurt you. You have to trust me on that."

Trust: yet another reason why she refused to tell Elliot about her attack, because in their line of work they had to trust each other.

How could he trust her if he knew?

How could he trust her to take care of herself on the field when she, herself, had come so close to being on the receiving end of such a violent crime?

No, she couldn't tell him.

Olivia shook her head trying to clear her thoughts. "I do trust you Elliot", she said forcing a small, sad smile.

"Okay", Elliot said, returning the smile. "Cragen is sending over a uni to keep an eye on you. He will be parked right outside."

Elliot waited for her response. Olivia hated looking weak and she took a protective detail as a sign from her coworkers that she couldn't take care of herself. Whenever one was assigned to her she would always object; claiming that she did not need a babysitter, no matter how terrified she really was.

Still Elliot waited, he knew it was coming, any second now a sarcastic remark would fall from her stubborn lips and he would have to sit there and argue with her about how she needed someone to keep and eye on her seeing as how she wouldn't do it herself.

He waited.

Nothing, not a word, she didn't even roll her eyes.

It was almost as if; no, it couldn't be, did she actually want someone looking after her? _Is she really that afraid of this guy? _Elliot wondered. _God what did he do to her?_

Olivia knew that her silence was making Elliot uncomfortable but she couldn't bring herself to speak. A lump in her throat told her that if she were to say anything that her voice would crack and reveal just how close she was to crying.

Elliot knew this, he could tell that she was terrified but what he didn't know was why. Sure, he knew that Harris had attacked her, he had seen the bruise; one bruise on her cheek. He had also seen the huge gash on Harris' face that told him that Olivia had ultimately won the fight, but that couldn't be the case, not with the way she was reacting to the news of his escape.

"Olivia?" Elliot drew in a long breath.

Olivia knew he was waiting for her to answer him. She sighed and looked straight into his eyes, praying silently that she was belaying the confidence that she certainly did not feel.

"Yes Elliot", she said, surprised to find that her voice showed no clues as to how she really felt.

Elliot met her gaze and released the breath he was holding. "Liv", he began, "What happened in the basement? What did Harris do to you?"

Olivia's heart dropped into the pit of her stomach, she knew the question was coming. She thought for a minute. She couldn't say nothing happened, although that was what she had originally told him the first time he asked this question, but she couldn't tell him the truth either.

"El", she began, "I already told you-"

"No, you didn't," he cut off. "I wish you would."

Olivia looked down, breaking the eye contact, but she could still feel Elliot's eyes on her. It was then that the guilt struck her. Elliot had opened up to her so much in the past few weeks, he shared things with her that he had never shared with anyone; he trusted her and proved that trust by baring open his soul on that very couch, and here she was unable to do the same.

_Say something_, she mentally scolded herself for not reciprocating the new found trust he had given her. _Anything, just say something. _She wanted to tell him, she really did; she just didn't know how. Memories from her attack started to flood her mind. Harris climbing on top of her, mocking her as she begged him to stop; the feel of his body as it grinded onto hers up against the cold, hard, wall of the basement, the handcuffs around her wrists, chaining her to the door as he unzipped his pants.

"Elliot." That was all she could choke out before her emotions got the best of her. The painful memories taunting her as she struggled so hard against the anguish that they brought with them.

"Its ok Liv", Elliot said as he brought her into an embrace. The second her head fell into his chest she started crying, sobbing uncontrollably.

"He was going to rape me", she cried. "He took me down to the basement and threw me down onto this old mattress, I . . . I tried to get away but he pinned, oh god, he pinned me against a wall." Her words were lost in sobs and Elliot had to struggle to make out her muffled cries. "I tried to fight him, Elliot, I really did."

His heart broke. "I know Liv", he said, "I know."

Elliot stroked her hair, trying to soothe her, as she shook in his arms. Olivia subconsciously clutched onto his shirt as she continued to choke out the story of her attack.

"He un-cuffed me, so I hit him and ran. There was no way out of there, Elliot. God it was like a fucking maze! I hid but he found me and then he . . . he just started beating me with his baton! I hit him again and I tried to run but there was nowhere to go. He caught up to me and . . . and he handcuffed me to the door."

By now she was crying so hard that she was shaking; her body racked with sobs. "He unzipped his pants", she paused, "he said bite me and you're dead. God Elliot I can still hear his voice! He started to . . . he started stroking himself."

Elliot wasn't sure he could hear anymore. Olivia had been propelled by momentum and he knew that if he interrupted her she would lose the nerve and shut down. He wanted to block it out; he didn't want to think about her being hurt like that. But she needed to talk about it and he would let her.

"That's when Fin came in", her breathing was haggard. "He. . . he got to me just in time."

Elliot had never seen her like this and to tell the truth it scared him. He couldn't believe that Badass Benson was coming undone like this. Elliot just sat there holding on to her, not sure of what to do. It broke his heart to see her in so much pain and knowing that there was nothing he could do for her only added insult to injury.

They sat there like that for close to an hour, neither sure of what to say or do. In the end, though, Olivia was the one to break the silence. She pulled herself from Elliot's protective embrace and wiped the tears that remained on her cheeks.

"I'm sorry", she said as she tried to collect herself.

Elliot sighed. "Don't be sorry Liv, you have nothing to be sorry for."

She just shook her head, nodding in what seemed to be agreement. "I'm scared, El."

She hated herself for saying it, she hated that she had unraveled into this complete vulnerable, blubbering mess but there was no turning back now, she had opened herself up to him and shared her darkest most painful secret. She could only hope that the decision to do so would not come back to haunt her.

"I know, Liv", Elliot said as he straightened himself on the couch. "But I am going to be here for you." He took her hand in his and looked her in the eyes. "I mean it, Olivia, I am really going to be here for you."

"Elliot you're going to make me cry again", she said with a small chuckle.

Elliot smiled and got off the couch, taking with him the empty paper plates to go throw them away.

Olivia took a deep breath and closed her eyes, resting her head on the back of the couch. Elliot watched her from the kitchen; he knew how emotionally drained she must be. After all, she had had one hell of a day.

Once again the sound of his cell phone brought him out of his own world and back into reality.

"Stabler", he said into his phone. "Oh my god."

He turned away and spoke in a whisper, not wanting Olivia to have to endure anymore tragedy ; she had had enough for one day. The conversation took all of 45 seconds. Elliot hung up the phone and walked towards Olivia. She looked so peaceful resting on her couch.

"Liv", Elliot called out in a whisper. She did not stir. "Olivia", he said a little louder.

Her eyebrows furrowed and she turned her head but still she did not wake up.

Elliot decided that he couldn't wake her; he didn't have the heart, not when she was sleeping so soundly. Elliot scooped her up from the couch, careful not to wake her and carried her to her bed. He laid her down gently and covered her with the extra blanket he found at the foot of her bed.

He walked out of her room, carefully closing the door behind him, and headed over to her couch were he too would try to drift into a peaceful sleep. Whatever he had to tell her could wait till morning.


	3. Chapter 3

Olivia awoke to a voice; a man's voice. She tried to make out what it was saying, she tried to put a face to this voice but she failed to recognize it.

She just knew that it was a man's voice.

And it was right outside of her bedroom.

Olivia went for her gun only to find that it wasn't on the nightstand where she normally kept it. _Damn._

Olivia cautiously walked over to her bedroom door and pressed her ear against it trying to see if she could hear what the voice was saying. A second voice joined the first; another man's voice.

Olivia's heart started to pound. The last thing she remembered was talking to Elliot on her couch and now she was in her room, without her gun, and there were two unrecognizable men standing outside of her bedroom door.

There was a laugh, but it wasn't the sinister kind she would have expected to hear from the voices. No, she knew this laugh. This was Elliot's laugh.

Olivia opened the door slightly and carefully, as to not make any noise, and peaked out from the small opening she had created. She was relieved to find Elliot sitting on her couch laughing at the source of the voices: her TV.

Olivia let out a sigh of relief and opened the door all the way. Elliot noticed the movement and turned to look at her.

"Sorry", he said, "did I wake you?"

"No", She smiled, "You didn't."

Olivia walked over to the couch and sat down next to Elliot. She didn't know what but something had possessed her to grab on to Elliot's arm and rest her head on his shoulder. And for whatever reason it didn't seem awkward or uncomfortable at all. Actually, it felt familiar.

Elliot didn't seem to mind either. The hand that belonged to the arm that she was clinging to rested gently on her mid thigh. He gave her a comforting squeeze and rested his head on hers; it, too, felt familiar.

"Couldn't sleep?" Olivia asked.

"Ah I did a little", he said, "but I couldn't stay asleep. Why are you up? We don't have to be at work for a few more hours."

Olivia looked at the clock hanging on the wall in front of her; 4am. "Same reason as you I guess", she said while looking up at him, "wanted to watch Two and a Half Men."

He smiled and met her gaze. Olivia turned her head back to the TV and settled herself more comfortably on the couch, her head still on his shoulder. Elliot leaned his head more into hers and inhaled the sent of her shampoo from her hair.

He couldn't tell you why he did what he did; he was just compelled. For whatever reason, Elliot had kissed her.

A quick kiss, on the top of her head, but it was a kiss nevertheless; something that they had never done before.

Olivia closed her eyes for a second and let out a small moan. It was not a sexual sound, more like one of appreciation. She appreciated that he was there . . . wait, why was he there? Olivia was all too relieved to find Elliot sitting on her couch to question what he was doing there in the first place and she was all too comfortable in his arms to wonder about his appearance in her apartment until now.

"El?" She asked.

"Hmm?" His reply was muffled by her hair.

"What are you still doing here? Not that I mind but its four in the morning; I thought you would leave once I fell asleep." Olivia paused for a second, "How did I get to my bed?"

Elliot let out a small chuckle and lifted his face from her hair. "You fell asleep on the couch; I carried you."

Olivia lifted herself off of him and stared at him in confusion. "You carried me?" She asked.

"Yeah", he replied, "is that a problem?"

Olivia shook her head, "No, its not, thank you; uh I'm just surprised that I didn't wake up. I'm usually not such a heavy sleeper."

"Yeah well", Elliot began, "You were pretty exhausted; rough day."Olivia nodded her head in agreement and then settled back onto the couch.

"Listen Liv, I gotta tell you something", he said, hessitantly.

Olivia brought her legs onto the couch and rested one hand in her lap, the other supporting her head leaning on the back of the couch. "What is it El?" She guessed it had something to do with why he was still in her apartment.

Elliot sighed, hating that he had to be the one to deliver yet another crushing blow to her.

"Liv, Ashley Tyler was killed last night." Elliot watched her facial expression transform into a look of horror. "Once we heard Harris escaped Cragen sent over an officer to check on her. When they got there, she was already dead."

Olivia felt the color drain from her face, Ashley Tyler, the girl she promised to protect from Harris, was now dead. She remembered when she first met Ashley; she had just been raped and left for dead.

It was Olivia's case, the one she went to Sealview for,

The reason she went undercover.

"How?" Olivia asked.

Elliot sighed and looked down briefly, unable to bare the look of devastation on his partner's face any longer.

"She was stabbed, Liv."

Olivia ran her fingers through her hair. "Was it slow", She asked, not really wanting to know.

"It looks like it", he said, "Melinda is doing the autopsy, we will know for sure later on today."

Olivia's eyes started to burn, the familiar feeling of tears beginning to sting her eyes. "El", she began, "was she raped?"

Elliot knew she would ask but that didn't make answering her any easier.

"Yes."


	4. Chapter 4

"It doesn't mean anything, Liv", Elliot said in an attempt to ease her immediate discomfort.

Olivia stood from the couch and started pacing. "How could you say that El?" She asked. "You know what this means."

Elliot stood up and blocked her path. He placed his arms on her shoulders trying to still her long enough for her to listen to him. "I know, Olivia", he said, "but I'm not going to let him hurt you." His eyes locked on hers in an attempt to drive his point home. "This guy isn't getting anywhere near you. He only got to Ashley because there was no one there for her."

"We were supposed to protect her", She said. "I was supposed to, I promised her, El, I promised her! I was supposed to keep her safe." Olivia tried to keep her tears from falling but hearing the news about Ashley, the guilt she felt for not being there, for not getting to her first, was too much.

"Don't do this to yourself, Liv." Elliot lifted her chin so she was looking him in the eyes while he spoke, "You couldn't have known. This wasn't your fault. He had a plan, he got there first."

"How did he even know where she was?"

Elliot took her hand and led her back to the couch. He waited until Olivia was settled before he spoke again. "I'm not sure Liv, we think he might have an accomplice. Can you think of anyone who might-"

"Mathew Parker", she interrupted, "He was another C.O. I'm not sure how good of friends they were but Parker was just as sleazy as Harris."

Elliot immediately tensed at her words. _What does she mean just as sleazy as Harris? _

Olivia noticed his internal conflict; she could tell he was bothered by her words and she knew the places his mind was going to.

"Elliot, don't worry, aside from some harassment, Parker never did anything to me." Her words did not make him feel much better, he was relieved to hear the Parker had not hurt her but even harassment was more than enough to earn Parker a very special Stabler ass beating.

"Munch and I will pay Parker a visit first thing in the morning", said Elliot, "I'll see if Hardwicke can get us a warrant."

Olivia looked at Elliot, questioning his words. "Why are you taking Munch? I should be the one to question him."

Elliot smirked, he knew Olivia would have this reaction and for once that night he was prepared to talk to her. "Liv, there is no way Cragen is letting you anywhere near this case; you know that."

"I can handle it, Elliot. Ashley was my case to begin with; I started it and I have to finish it."

Elliot shook his head, "No Liv, you're too close to this case. You're not just a cop in this one, you are also", Elliot swallowed hard, knowing that what he was about to say would royally piss her off, " you are also one of the victims."

Olivia practically jumped off the couch, her face red with anger; although she didn't know what she was angry at, the fact the Elliot had referred to her as a victim or the fact that he was right. Olivia stormed off to her room and slammed the door. _Maybe I can't argue with him but I sure as hell can be pissed._

Elliot wanted to go after her, he wanted to hold her and tell her that everything will be ok; that it would all be over soon.

But he couldn't do that.

Because it wasn't alright. Ashley was dead and Harris was on the loose and coming after her.

Then there was the angered state Olivia was currently in. He knew that when Olivia was mad she wanted to be left alone and, as much as it pained him, he knew it would be best to do so.

As soon as the door was shut behind her Olivia sunk down to the floor and buried her face into her hands, trying not to give in to tears once again. She thought about Ashley and the first time she saw her. She was being loaded into an ambulance; she had cuts and bruises all over her face and her clothes were covered in dirt from the garden that she was left in.

She thought about their conversation at the precinct, how Ashley told her about the guard who had raped her mom, and how he had raped her. She thought about Ashley's mother, Risa, lying on a cold slab in the prison's medical station.

Her mind swam and she wanted to shut it all out.

She didn't want to think, she didn't want to feel.

A knock at her door disturbed her thoughts and she was almost grateful for the relief. Olivia pulled herself up from the floor and composed herself as best as she could before opening the door.

"Hey Liv." Elliot gave her a sad smile. He could tell she had been crying but did not acknowledge it, for her sake. "Its almost seven, are you going to be ok if I head home, I gotta shower and change before work."

Olivia nodded, "Yes Elliot, I'll be fine. I'm a -"

"You're a big girl, yes, Olivia, I know." He said, finishing her sentence. They smiled at each other before Elliot turned to leave. "There's an officer right outside of your building, I'll be back at eight to pick you up."

"That's ok Elliot, I don't need a ride."

Truth be told, the idea of walking to work alone scared her but after her last conversation with Elliot she had this unending need to prove that she could take care of herself. Even the officer outside of her building seemed to be too much; the once thoughtful gesture now insulting.

Elliot turned away from the door and walked back over to Olivia. He looked at her for a brief moment before shaking his head; a small smile forming on his lips, glad to see that some of her fight had returned.

"You're not walking, Liv, and you are insane if you think I'm going to let you." Before Olivia had a chance to say anything, Elliot had turned around and was heading back towards the door. "I'll be back soon to pick you up. Get ready because I don't want to have to sit here and wait for you", he said jokingly before shutting the front door behind him.

Olivia walked over to the door and locked it. As much as she hated to admit it, she didn't want to be alone. She wanted Elliot. He had only just left and she already missed his presence. She felt safe around Elliot and it was nice for her to be able to let her guard down every once in a while; knowing that if she needed it, Elliot would be there for her.

**Reviews make me happy!**


	5. Chapter 5

Elliot jumped into the shower, an unwelcoming blast of cold water sending shivers down his body. He turned the knob to the left and was instantly granted with warmth. He stood there in the shower enjoying the feel of the water on him as his mind wondered back to the previous hours.

He couldn't believe what Olivia had told him; he couldn't believe that she had told him anything at all. He was glad that Olivia felt comfortable enough with him to share such a personal and painful memory with him but he couldn't help but feel for his partner, his best friend. _Why does she have to suffer so much? Why do people always try to hurt her. She doesn't deserve to be treated that way. _

Elliot dropped his head and relaxed under the warm spray of water massaging his back and thought back to all of the close calls they had faced throughout their years together; Gitano slicing her neck, Merrit Rook kidnapping her in the train station, Richard White, the sickest man he had ever met, stalking and attacking her in the park.

And then there was Harris.

_No, she doesn't deserve any of it._

Of course, with the bad memories came the good; Elliot's birthday when Olivia surprised him with his kids at his desk and a cake, sitting on his stoop late at night drinking coffee and talking, holding her in the hospital after Eli was born.

Yes, holding her.

It was because of Olivia that Kathy was able to get out of the car and deliver Eli safely. If it hadn't been for her bravery, climbing back into the wrecked car to secure Kathy in the neck brace, feeding the IV into her veins, doing everything she could to take care of what he held dear. Yes, if it hadn't been for her bravery, if it hadn't been for her, he would be lost.

And that realization had came to him when he was in the hospital, holding her.

He smiled at the memory. He remembered how loving her embrace was, how sweet she smelt, how her body felt pressed up against his. . . His shower was now, uncomfortably hot.

Elliot shook his head and smiled. He turned down the warm water, deciding that a cold shower would do him good, after all, the thought of Olivia's body pressed up against his had an undeniable effect on his body.

Elliot looked down at his hardened shaft and smiled at his sudden predicament. _God Liv, why do you do this to me? _

Elliot moved his hands down his shaft and bit his lip. Images of Olivia running through his mind as he continued to stroke himself.

The soft curves of her body, her full, cherry lips, the way her hair bounces when she moves, . . . and the way other parts of her bounce- that was it. The vision of Olivia's perky breasts was the final straw sending him over the edge.

Elliot stood there, panting in the shower, flushed from his activities. He let the cold water run on him long enough to calm him down and clear his thoughts.

Once he was free from his urges he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He walked over into his bedroom and checked the clock that sat on his dresser; 7:15.

Elliot pulled open his drawers and reached for a pair of clean slacks but stopped when he noticed the edge of a brown picture frame sticking out from underneath the clothing. He reached for the frame, taking it out of the drawer and smiling at the picture inside.

It was one of him and Olivia.

He didn't know why he still kept it in a drawer; force of habit he guessed. Kathy hated the picture and had asked him on numerous occasions to get rid of it, but he couldn't, he just couldn't.

He knew the picture made her uncomfortable, even though it was innocent, but he couldn't bring himself to throw away a picture of somebody who meant so much to him.

The picture was of Olivia and Elliot at the precinct's Christmas party. Elliot had his arm draped over Olivia's shoulder and Olivia had her arm around his waist. They were both smiling with drinks in hand.

Olivia was wearing a low cut red sweater and, as a joke, the little elf hat that Munch had gotten her the year before._ She's so damn cute._

Elliot smiled to himself as he gazed at the picture. _Where were you when I was in the shower?_ He placed the picture next to the clock on his dresser; glad he no longer had to hide it. He continued to get dressed knowing that he had to be back at Olivia's in just under an hour, and even that now seemed like too long.

* * *

**Location- Olivia's apartment**

Elliot used his key and let himself into Olivia's apartment, glad she wasn't stubborn enough to not lock the door. "Liv" he called out, "Are you ready?"

A few beats passed before she emerged from her bedroom clad in only a silk robe with her makeup and her hair partially done. "Elliot", she began surprised, "what are you doing here?"

He just shrugged shrugged. "I told you, you are not walking."

"Yeah I got that", she started, "but you also said eight; its not even seven thirty."

Elliot walked over to her couch and sat down, smiling at her. "I changed my mind." He said with a smirk. "What, you wanted to go to work a half hour early?" Olivia joked.

"No, I wanted to sit around and wait for you." Elliot looked at her with a smile plastered on his face and settled more comfortably into her couch.

Olivia rolled her eyes and let out a small laugh. "Well good, Stabler, because I am nowhere near ready."

It was then that Elliot noticed her attire. Silk flattered her.

Really, really, fucking flattered her.

And the length of her robe only extenuated her long, toned, legs. _You should never take that robe off. _

Elliot turned his attention to his phone, pretending to text someone so she wouldn't notice him staring. Olivia walked over towards her TV and bent down to turn it on for him. _Of course, she would have to bend down in front of me. She would have to bend down wearing a short, silk robe. On second thought, take it off. Take if off now!_

Elliot groaned as he tried to take his eyes off of her, his face becoming flush again.

"You ok?" Olivia asked in response to his primal sound.

"Ah, yeah I'm fine", he said, "I just got a kink in my neck from laying on your couch."

"Oh", she said while walking over behind the couch, "Well here let me take care of that." Olivia placed her hands on Elliot's neck and began to massage him, kneading into his flesh.

"Liv you don't have to - ohh." His words were swallowed by yet another groan escaping from his lips. She had no idea what she was doing to him, the effect that her touch had on him. "Oh my god Olivia. Where did you learn to do that?"

Olivia laughed and put more pressure on his skin. "I do yoga", she said, "I'm constantly pulling muscles. I guess I just picked it up."

And there it was; the image of Olivia, hot and sweaty after a workout, in tight, formfitting, spandex, touching, no, rubbing herself. Elliot quickly stood up from the couch, breaking the contact, his pants now too tight. "Ah thanks Liv, it feels much better now." He said, still turned away from her, shielding his erection.

"Are you sure Elliot?" She asked, "You feel a little stiff."

"Oh you have no idea." He mumbled under his breath.

Olivia cocked her head to the side, not exactly sure of what he had just said. "What was that, El", she asked, "I couldn't understand you?"

"Nothing Liv"", he said, "You should hurry; don't want to be late."

Olivia stared at him in confusion before responding. "Um, ok then Elliot. Well, I'm just going to go finish getting ready and then we can go. I'll uh be right back." She said, confused as to what had just happened.

She walked into her bedroom and was about to close the door when she saw Elliot loosening his tie and wiping the sweat from his forehead. It was then that Olivia realized what had just went on.

She felt her face blush numerous shades of red; she had to cover her mouth to suppress the small laugh that was threatening to escape.

She had no idea that her touch would do that to him. Sure, there had always been some sexual tension, but never anything like that.

She stood there watching Elliot, hands on his hips, smiling to himself and shaking his head at the floor. He looked so frustrated it was almost cute.

Although it was not her intention to torture Elliot, she had to admit that she found some guilty pleasure in teasing him.

Throughout their partnership Elliot had always been the forbidden fantasy; the married man who worked with her. He would come out from the showers, shirtless, wet, and refreshed and walk over to his locker to change.

Olivia was always there, having to fight her urges to pounce on him.

And then there were all those cold nights in the cribs, the nights when the thin sheets were not enough to keep her warm. Elliot was always so willing to share his body heat.

He had been the object of her desires for over a decade but he was always married and, as much as Olivia wanted to, she would not be the reason for ending his marriage.

But he was separated now,

Separated, and as Olivia had just learned, she, too, had been the object of his desires.


	6. Chapter 6

Olivia and Elliot arrived at the precinct together at a little after 8:00; given the circumstances Cragen didn't mind that they were a little late.

"Olivia", Cragen began, concerned, " how are you?"

Olivia gave him a small smile, trying to reassure him. "I'm fine Captain."

He knew it was a lie. Although her mood had improved drastically due to this mornings encounter, she was still no where near fine.

Cragen just returned her smile, not wanting her to know he had caught on to her act. "Well I'm sure you already know that I can't have you working on this case."

Olivia nodded bitterly and Cragen noticed her displeasure. "I'm sorry Olivia, but you are too close to this one, I don't want some D.A. getting this case thrown out because of your personal history with Harris."

Olivia knew that her superior was right. As much as she hated to admit it, she was bias, and any evidence she touched would be tainted in the eyes of the court.

"Captain", Olivia began, already knowing the answer to the question she was about to ask, "What can I do?"

Cragen sighed, "Right now, nothing. You are on desk duty until I say different."

Olivia looked down, she hated feeling so useless; she wanted to be out there getting justice for Ashley, she wanted to personally be the one to bring Harris down.

"Just be glad I'm not sending you home." Cragen mused.

Olivia looked up at her captain and gave another small smile. "Thanks Captain." She said, and with that she was off to her desk to begin the long and tedious task that was desk duty.

Cragen returned to his office, shortly after, unknowingly being followed by Elliot. It wasn't until he sat down and looked up that he noticed him there standing by the door. "What can I do for you Elliot?" He asked.

Elliot walked over to Cragen's desk and took a seat in one of the chairs across from his. "Captain, why is she here?"

Cragen looked up at Elliot, surprised at his words.

"You know, don't you?" Cragen asked.

Elliot sighed and nodded his head. "She told me last night right after you called. She shouldn't be here, Captain."

Cragen considered his words before speaking, almost agreeing with Elliot's statement. "I thought about sending her home, but its not like she would go without a fight. And even if she did go home she wouldn't stay there. You know as well as I do that she would be out there trying to find Harris, alone."

Elliot looked down, he hadn't thought about that. The last thing he wanted was Olivia alone on the streets trying to track down the very man who had hurt her.

"Elliot", Cragen continued, "I would rather have her here where we can all keep an eye on her."

Elliot nodded again and looked up at his captain. "Do you think she is in danger, Cap'?" Elliot asked, already knowing the answer, just seeking confirmation.

Cragen nodded, "I do."

Elliot got up from his seat and walked over to the door. He turned the knob but stopped to look back at Cragen. "I wont let her out of my sight", he said quietly, and with that he opened the door the rest of the rest of the way and let himself out.

Elliot stayed outside the door for a moment contemplating on what to do next. He wanted to walk over to Olivia and scoop her up in his arms; it was the only place he knew she would be safe. On the other hand, he knew the only way to assure her safety would be to catch the man after her and that would require leaving her, something he had just sworn not to do.

In the end though, Elliot knew what he had to do. "John." he said while walking over to his coworker's desk. "I need you to pull up someone; he's in the system, a prison guard, Mathew -"

"Parker", Fin cut off. "Mathew Parker, don't tell me that sick son of a bitch is involved in this too."

"You know him?" Elliot asked.

Fin nodded and walked over to where Elliot was standing. "Yeah I know him, guy's a real pig, but I don't peg him as a murderer. What's he got to do with this?"

"That's what we are going to find out," replied Elliot. And then as Fin began walking away, passing by Olivia, a surge of questions and anger rushed through him and boiled over. _How many times did he walk away from her while she had been undercover._

"Hey Fin", he began, trying to keep his voice calm, "can I talk to you for a second?"

Fin nodded mutely and followed Elliot into the locker rooms so they could talk without fear of being overheard. "What's up Elliot?" Asked Fin when they were alone.

Elliot looked behind him to make sure that no one had followed them in and that they were truly alone. "What the hell, Fin?" Elliot asked, a hint of anger in his voice. "How could you let that guy get a hold of Liv?"

Fin looked away, his jaw clenched. "Look man if you brought me in here for a lecture save it because I don't want-"

"Who cares what you want!" He was livid. "Did Harris care about what she wanted when he took her down there? Do you care at all about what she went through?" Elliot was in Fin's face shouting in anger, ready to slam him into one of the lockers. "How could you leave her alone, even for a second? You were supposed to protect her!"

"Look man you weren't there!" Fin was just as enraged and did nothing to hold back his shouts. "You don't know what the hell happened!"

"No", Elliot screamed, "No, I wasn't there because if I was then none of that shit would have ever happened!" Elliot was red from exerting so much anger and Fin was not far behind him.

"Stabler, you better get out of my face!"

"Or what", Elliot spat.

And then the door to the cribs swung open and Cragen stormed through, just as furious as the two."Both of you in my office now!" He shouted.

The two men had been so consumed by their rage that neither of them noticed how loud they had been. There was no doubt that Cragen had heard their fight, along with everyone else in the precinct.

As the three men walked out of the locker room the whole squad room stared; except Olivia who was no where to be found.

Elliot searched for her, his heart pounding slightly, but continued his decent into Cragen's office. He didn't think anyone could get to her in the precinct. She probably heard the fight and ran off into one of the interrogation rooms, embarrassed.

The click of Cragen's office door brought him back to reality and Elliot looked at his Captain, never once feeling so intimidated by his as he did right then, staring back at his angry face.

"What the hell is the matter with you too! Do you really think this is the time to play petty blame games!" Cragen was fuming.

"Cap'", Elliot began, refusing to back down, "you don't know-"

"I heard!" Cragen interrupted, "The whole damn squad heard! You too both need to get your heads together because if you don't then you are both off the case!"

"Captain", Fin began, "If you take us off then who's gonna work on it? Munch can't do everything all by himself."

Cragen nodded. "Exactly. Now ask yourselves this, do you really want me to send Liv out there?"

Both men looked at each other. Neither believed that Cragen would send Olivia out to work on this case but the threat was enough to remind them of why they had to work together on this.

"Alright Cap", said Fin. That was all he had to say.

Both men looked at Elliot, who remained silent, staring at the floor.

"Elliot?" Cragen asked.

Elliot glared at Fin, still red in the face, still wanting to pound him into a pulp, but he knew he couldn't. He had to stay on the case, he had to do this, for Olivia.

Unable to speak, Elliot nodded in agreement.

"Alright then", said Cragen, "back to work, both of you."

Elliot and Fin walked out of Cragen's office and into the ocean of gawking coworkers who were pretending not to pay interest in what had just gone on. Fin looked over to Elliot and forced a small smile which Elliot, begrudgingly, reciprocated.

His eyes searched the precinct again, this time relieved to find Olivia sitting at her desk.

Fin walked over to his partner to see what he had found on Parker while Elliot headed over to check on Olivia.

"You ok", he asked.

Olivia looked up from her seat and smiled. "I was just about to ask you the same thing", she said, gauging his reaction.

Elliot nodded, a smirk plastered on his face.

"Stabler." Fin called from across the room. Elliot looked up and saw the urgency on Fin's face.

He turned back to Olivia, his eyes full of concern, silently asking if she would be ok if he left.

"Go Elliot", she whispered.

Elliot nodded and headed over to see what Fin was so worked up about, though he still wasn't ready to work peacefully with the man. "What's going on", he asked.

"Munch just got a call from Mercy." Fin said, trying to hide the worry in his voice.

"Munch?" Elliot asked, turning to look at him.

Munch grabbed a file and his keys from his desk and motioned for Elliot to follow him outside.

Once they were in the elevator and alone, he spoke. "Our victim is 53, female, Caucasian, raped and stabbed. She bled out in the ambulance." Munch sighed and looked at Elliot. "Harris struck again."

Elliot looked at Munch, confused. "How do we know it was Harris?" Elliot asked.

"Because", Munch began while handing Elliot the file, "Our victim, the one who was attacked and killed the same way Ashley Tyler was," he paused and motioned for Elliot to open the file.

Elliot quickly skimmed the page, finding the answer to his question.

"She was the Warden over at Sealview."


	7. Chapter 7

Elliot and Munch arrived at Mercy at a little after 9:00; they flashed their badges at security and began their decent to the morgue. No matter how many dead bodies the two had seen it never got any easier. The smell was just as bad, the pale and cold faces were still just as disturbing, and the fear etched into the victim's retinas were still just as haunting.

"Elliot, John, Hi." Said Melinda Warner, the medical examiner .

"What have we got?" Asked John.

Melinda uncovered the victim so her body was fully exposed; she was covered in bruises and slash marks. "Cause of death was this stab wound", she said while pointing to the cut just above the hip bone, "It was a slow death, whoever did this wanted this person to suffer."

Elliot sighed and looked down at the body. "Do you have the results from the rape kit?"

"No, not yet", said Warner, "They should be back any minute. I did find something interesting though." Melinda walked over to one of the counters and picked up a file. "The victim had both seamen and spermicidal lubricant inside of her, as well as traces of latex."

Elliot and Munch looked at each other in confusion.

"Yeah, so", Munch commented sarcastically. "What exactly does that mean?"

"Well", began Melinda, "It could be one of two things; he used a condom and it broke or there were two rapists and one just wanted to be careful. Probably didn't want to leave any forensic evidence."

Elliot furrowed his eyebrows while he spoke, "Neither matches Harris' MO."

Melinda's eyes grew wide and she felt her heart skip a beat. "Lowell Harris?" She asked.

Munch nodded. "Yeah he escaped sometime yesterday morning to attack and kill Ashley Tyler. Her injuries match the ones on the warden."

Melinda shook her head in disbelief. "Did he leave DNA?"

Munch and Elliot both nodded. "Yeah, and he knows we can match it too", Munch mused. "Its almost like he wants to get caught."

"My God", Melinda sighed. "Elliot, is Olivia ok?" She asked, her eyes full of concern.

"What the hell; did everybody know about this except for me?" Elliot asked, trying to control his volume.

"Know about what?" Asked Munch.

Elliot looked at him and then back at Melinda, glad he wasn't the only one kept out of the loop. "Nothing Munch", Elliot said, "Yeah, Melinda, she's fine."

The M.E. nodded and turned towards Munch, "Don't worry John, its just something Liv told me a while back, and apparently just told Elliot now."

There was a knock at the door and a small intern walked into the room. She barely looked like she was out of high school, better yet med school. "Doctor Warner", she spoke, "here are the results from the DNA test."

She handed over a file to Melinda, who nodded her head as a thank you. Melinda opened the file and quickly read it. She sighed before putting down the file and looking up at the two detectives. "Well, you were right. The seamen was a match to Lowell Harris."

Elliot nodded. "What about the spericide?" He asked.

Melinda picked up the file and looked at it once more. "I'm not sure, but it doesn't make sense that he would use a condom with this one and not with Ashley; either he cares about getting caught or he doesn't. My guess is that there were two."

Elliot's mind was in a fog, reeling over the new found information, every time he tried to vocalize a coherent thought his mouth just hung open. The only clear thought in his mind was of Olivia.

Warner sighed and turned her attention to Munch. "John", she began, "who did Ashley Tyler's autopsy?"

Munch turned to Elliot, both of their faces contorting into a look of confusion. "You did", answered Munch.

Melinda shook her head and looked at the detectives; her face also plastered with the same confused look. "No I didn't. I see a lot of bodies but not so many that I would remember one."

"Cragen said that you were doing the autopsy", stated Elliot, finally finding his voice. "If you didn't do it, then who did?"

"I wish I could tell you." Melinda paused for a moment to think before speaking again, "Elliot, who signed the autopsy report?"

"I don't know", he sighed. "I didn't get the call until after Ashley was found. I was with Olivia at the time."

"_Stabler." Elliot said into the phone._

_ "Elliot, its Cragen, we have a problem." Cragen sighed before he continued. "Ashley Tyler was raped and murdered." _

_Elliot looked at Olivia's peaceful form resting on her couch. He couldn't help but visualize her body, bruised and broken after the assault he now knew Harris was planning. That image alone was enough to bring tears to his eyes, his heart constricting painfully. _

_"Oh my God", he breathed._

_Elliot pushed those thoughts aside, looking at her once more to reassure himself that she was there, and that she was okay._

_ "How did it happen?" He asked._

_ "She was stabbed." Cragen said, not missing a beat, he wanted to get this conversation over with as soon as possible, for he, too, had the same vision of Olivia that Elliot was so desperate to rid his mind of. "Melinda is doing the autopsy, we will know more tomorrow but Elliot, it looks like it was slow. The stab wound was just above her hip, it would have been slow to bleed out."_

_ Elliot sighed and closed his phone, he knew that was the last of what Cragen had to say. _

_He slowly walked over to Olivia, each step feeling heavier than the last._

_ "Liv."_

"I never saw the report", Elliot whispered, "Cragen said you were doing the autopsy but I never saw the report."

Melinda looked at the body lying on the slab next to her. "I never saw Ashley's body, I didn't even know she was dead until you told me." She returned her attention to the detectives, "I'm the only one here who can perform an autopsy. She had to have been taken to another hospital."

Elliot took out his phone and dialed Cragen's number. "Lets find out", he said while walking over to a quiet corner in the room.

"John", said Melinda, "Please tell me you have Harris in custody."

Munch looked at her, their eyes revealing the same fear and concern. "No. No Melinda we don't. Fin is looking at possible places he could be hiding and Elliot and I are going to question someone after we are done here. We will find him." Munch gave her a small reassuring smile which she returned.

"Damn it!" Elliot shouted from across the room.

"What happened?" Asked Munch and Warner simultaneously.

"Melinda, you are sure that her body never came through here?" Elliot asked, his face unreadable and his tone accusing.

"I don't know, Elliot. If it did then I never saw it." Melinda replied; her voice carrying a note of uncertainty, not of herself, but of the situation.

Elliot realized this and softened his tone. "And you are sure that you are the only person here who can perform an autopsy."

"Yes, Elliot, I'm sure. What's going on?"

Elliot shook his head at the floor, his frustration evident. "Son of a bitch", he mumbled, "Melinda the report says you did her autopsy. It says that she was brought here and was examined. DNA was taken and everything."

Melinda looked at the two, her face expressing the shock of the news. "Well I didn't do it; I never saw her."

"I know you didn't, Melinda", said Elliot, "I think Harris stole the body and forged the report."

Elliot thought back the first time he attacked Ashley, how he stole her rape kit from the hospital without anyone questioning him.

"That doesn't make sense," said Munch, "Why would Harris forge a report saying that he attacked her? If he was going to go through the trouble of stealing the body, why would he say that he did it after he took away our evidence? Could someone be setting him up?"

"Well one thing is for sure", Melinda began, "he did rape this one." She said while motioning towards the warden's body.

Elliot shook his head. "It had to have been Harris. He escapes and a few hours later Ashley Tyler and the Warden at his old prison are both found raped and murdered the exact same way. That's too much of a coincidence."

Elliot looked at the body, his blood ran cold as he imagined what the poor woman had endured before she was granted the mercy of death. "Thanks Melinda", he began, "let us know if you get anything else ok."

He turned his attention to Munch, determination burning in his eyes. "Let's go Munch." The detectives were silent as they exited the building, both of there minds occupied with questions and concerns.

Elliot wondered how Olivia would take the news of the warden's death and the disappearance of Ashley's body.

Olivia was a strong woman, everyone knew it; she made damn sure that they did, but Elliot didn't know the Olivia Benson that everyone else knew; he knew her for the woman behind her strength, the woman whose stubbornness and pride refused to let anyone see beyond her façade.

To everyone else Olivia would appear unfazed, but Elliot would see the pain behind her smile, he would see the fear and uncertainty that she tries so desperately to hide; something he never saw until recently; until she returned from the prison.

"Munch, can you handle talking to Parker on your own? I want to get back and check on Liv." Elliot's eyes revealed the need to be with her and Munch understood.

"Sure Elliot." Munch smirked, "Go on, I'll call if I get anything."

Elliot smiled. "Thanks John." And with that he was off, heading back towards the precinct.

He let Munch take the car, figuring the walk would do him some good; he needed to clear his head.

Elliot drew in a deep breath and took in the scenery; New York was a beautiful city filled with skyscrapers and old buildings. One would never guess the sick and twisted crimes that were commited in that city.

But Elliot wasn't just some bystander; he knew, really knew, he knew how cruel and merciless people could be. He dealt with it on a daily basis.

In the end, he believed, that was what destroyed his marriage. The job did something to him, something that Kathy would never, should never, understand.

But Olivia understood.

Maybe that's why Kathy felt so threatened; because Olivia understood what Elliot was going through, she understood him.

Elliot had always been faithful to his wife, but that's not to say that he never thought about cheating; all those nights in the crib with Olivia.

Elliot smiled at the memories; all the times they had gone out for breakfast at 4AM after another all nighter. She was always there for him, always so supportive.

And when they did fight, it was the worst time for him. They were both stubborn, but Elliot was the one who let his anger boil out of control. His smile left his face as he neared the hall where he and Olivia had the fight that almost destroyed their partnership and, more importantly, their friendship.

He remembered the cruel words he said to her during the Gitano case. "_I need to know you can do your job without waiting for me to come to the rescue." _

It was years ago, but he still remembered the hurt in her eyes; the hurt that he caused. That thought killed him inside. He vowed then and there to treat her the way she deserved to be treated.

After all, that's no way to behave towards your partner.

That's no way to treat someone you love.

Yes, he loved her. And he realized that the second he saw her standing by her desk, two coffee mugs in her hand.

"Coffee?" She offered, handing him the mug.

Elliot smiled. "Thanks." He said, taking the mug from her.

"So did you find out anything new?" She asked.

Elliot smiled and looked at her. _Only that I love you._

Olivia retuned his smile and noted the slight blush that was taking over his cheeks. "What?" Olivia asked after several seconds of silence. "El, what did you guys find?"

It was then that Elliot was brought back to reality, the smile fading from his face, because they did find something new. The warden was dead and Ashley Tyler's body was missing.

Elliot cleared his throat before speaking. "Liv, you better sit down."


	8. Chapter 8

Olivia's mind was reeling; reflecting back on the events that occurred in the last 48 hours. She lay there in the cribs trying to find some peace from the torment she was facing. After hearing the news about the warden and the disappearance of Ashley's body she knew she had to get away; even for just a little while.

When Elliot had told her what had happened she felt as though she would collapse, guilt and anguish assaulting her from every direction. It took every bit of strength she had in her not to break down in the middle of the squad room.

She ran up to the cribs and closed the door behind her. She slid down against the door and folded her legs up to her chest, burying her head.

She stayed there like that for nearly an hour, pushing every thought she had into the back of her mind, trying so desperately to remain strong.

Elliot stood outside of the door. He wanted to run in there and scoop her up in his arms; if not for her sake than for his.

It killed him to see her like this, to see her hurting like this.

Olivia was stubborn and he knew that if he were to go in there and comfort her that she would shut down; push him away for fear of looking weak. Coming forward about her attack was the first time she had ever left herself truly vulnerable to him. She hated being vulnerable, so he knew she would not leave herself in that position again any time soon.

Elliot could hear her heavy breathing outside of the door. He could tell she was on the verge of breaking down.

He wanted to help her. He vowed to be there for her. If only she wasn't so damn stubborn.

Screw it.

Elliot knocked on the door, giving Olivia a signal that he was coming in. She had barely backed away from the door when it swung open.

Elliot stood there, mouth open, trying to find the right words to say to her. Coming up empty he decided to make a bold move.

He closed the door behind him and looked at her before approaching, slowly, as if asking for her permission to touch her. When she did not back away or give notice that she wanted him to stop he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight against his body.

Olivia felt heat rising through her, though that was not Elliot's intention. His hand rested on the back of her head, gently guiding her to rest on his shoulder.

"Its okay Liv, everything is going to be okay", Elliot whispered, his hot breath rushing her neck and sending tremors throughout her.

He took this as a sign that she was crying and he held her tighter.

In that moment, Olivia forgot all about what was happening. The world came to a total stop; all was lost except for this moment. Nothing existed outside of Elliot's arms. She inhaled his sent and let out a shaky breath, moisture pooling between her legs. Elliot began to rub her back, trying to comfort her, but the contact only added to her current state.

Elliot could feel her trembling in his arms but had yet to hear the sobbing he expected. He kissed the top of her head and he felt her shift, unconsciously, or so he thought, grinding against him.

Elliot tried to stifle a moan from the contact; now was not the time to be taken over by his urges, not when Olivia needed him to be strong for her.

"Its ok to cry, Liv." He said, his breath once again sending exhilarated chills through her.

Olivia lifted her head from his shoulder and looked him in the eyes, the sympathy she saw quickly giving her insight as to what he thought was going on with her.

"I'm not", she whispered.

She knew she shouldn't do what she was about to do but the way he was holding her, they way she had reacted to his touch, and the way he had busted in there to comfort her, acting out of true and honest emotion was all too much.

Taking a deep breath, she lifted her head to capture his lips in a soft but passionate kiss.

Elliot wasn't sure what had happened; one minute she was crying on his shoulder the next her tongue was against his lips seeking entrance, which he granted. Her lips were soft but the kiss was heated, feeling years of sexual tension being released in one smoldering, shutter inducing, and phenomenal kiss.

Oxygen was needed fairly soon, both feeling light headed at the prolonged contact. Breaking away, they looked at each other, each simultaneously forming a smile on their face.

Gaining back his facilities, Elliot shifted his hands on her; one resting on her lower back, the other running up her spine till it met her head, pulling her into another kiss. This time it was his tongue asking to invade, which she so willingly allowed. It wasn't long until their kiss transformed into a full on make out session.

Olivia wasn't even sure how she got onto one of the beds; everything was moving so fast, but she didn't care. How could she care; not with the way Elliot was plying at her body. She moved to kiss his neck as his hands made their way under her blouse, starting at her waist, slowly working their way up her curves until they reached their desired destination.

Olivia moved her hands down his back, stopping when they met with his belt. She slid her hands down into his pants and brought them around to his front, caressing and teasing him every step of the way.

"Oh my god Olivia."

Elliot's moaning whisper encouraged her as she moved her hands deeper into his pants, grasping at his erection.

Elliot removed his hands from her breasts, using one arm to prop himself up and the other to slide down her stomach, raising her skin and earning moans of pleasure.

He had barely gotten his hand into her panties when they were disturbed by what they would both remember as the most annoying sound they had ever heard.

Footsteps.

Looking at each other, both suddenly realizing the gravity of the situation, they moved off of and out from under each other. They both quickly straightened their clothing and stood up facing the door, which opened only a second later.

"Olivia", said Cragen as he stepped inside the room, "I'm sending you home, you shouldn't be here right now. There is a protective detail outside of your apartment and you will get an escort there but you are going home."

Cragen's voice was firm and Olivia new she was not going to win this one. Any other day she would have been happy to argue her point, even knowing it was useless but with the current situation, what Cragen had almost walked in on, she was just glad for an excuse to leave the room and buy some time from the awkward moment she knew was sure to follow.

She exited the cribs and went down to her desk to grab her keys. It was then that she remember that Elliot had driven her to work that day.

_Shit_.

Olivia stared at the door to the cribs, waiting, wondering, what would happen next.

* * *

"Cap", Elliot began, "What's going on? Why are you sending her home?"

Cragen looked down and sighed before speaking. "We've got another body on our hands. Amber Johnson, she was Olivia's cellmate at Sealview. She was released two months ago."

Elliot's eyes grew wide. "So why are you sending her home? What about all that stuff about having her here so we can keep an eye on her?"

"Elliot, this one was delivered to us. The security guard in the parking garage found her", Cragen sighed, "in Olivia's spot."

Cragen moved his hand from behind his back revealing an envelope that he had been hiding while Olivia was in the room. "This came for her", he stated while handing Elliot the envelope.

He quickly tore it open and removed its contents.

Pictures.

Pictures of Ashley, The Warden, and of Amber. Their faces were contorted in pain, their bodies were bruised, bloodied, and broken.

And then there was one, a picture with no pain, no blood, and no bruises.

The picture was of Olivia walking into the precinct, obviously taken from far away. There was writing on the photo. Words that sent chills through both of the men.

_What every man wants, and you __are__ going to give it to me._

Elliot slid the photos back into the envelope and handed it back to Cragen.

"Tell me someone saw him?" Elliot asked, somewhat pleading.

Cragen shook his head.

"She hasn't seen this yet, and I don't want her to, not if she doesn't have to. Elliot, I can't have her here if he is going to be sending these threats. He is too comfortable with her here, for god's sake he dumped a body in the garage of a precinct."

Elliot opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by his Captain. "And before you ask, there is no footage. I'm not sure how, but he got the tapes. Munch is downstairs talking to the guard who was supposed to be watching."

Elliot shook his head, trying to hide the anger pulsing through him. "Do you think she will be safe at home? Even with a protective detail; its not hard to sneak past one and Harris is obviously good at getting past cops."

Elliot's fists were shaking at his sides. The man who had hurt the woman he loved was no more than yards away and no one had noticed.

Cragen considered his words and cleared his throat to speak. "No", he began, "No I don't think she will be safe home alone." Cragen sighed and looked at the envelope in his hands, his stomach churning. "That's why I'm sending you with her."


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, so I'm an idiot. I uploaded chapter 9 before I uploaded chapter 8. I have all the original chapters in one file on my computer. I edit a few chapters at a time and then upload them a few days apart. I'm so sorry for all of you who have already read the this chapter when it was still chapter 8. **

**You were probably wondering what the hell happened in the cribs and why I suddenly went insane and had the characters do what the did. Anyway, things are all fixed now. I reccomend you go back to chapter eight and read the cribs scene. **

**It really explains this chapter and, not to brag, but its pretty freaking hot.**

* * *

Olivia and Elliot were silent on the drive over to her apartment, neither sure of what to say. Elliot clenched his jaw in frustration, he wanted to say something he just couldn't find the words. He wanted to apologize; he knew that this was a difficult time for her. Although he thoroughly enjoyed every point of contact they shared he couldn't help but feel that he had used her.

That thought alone brought upon shame and guilt he felt no man should have to bare. Its not that he regretted it, he didn't. He was glad he had taken that step with her, but the timing was another matter. Maybe if they had actually had sex it wouldn't be so awkward now. Maybe if she hadn't been on the verge of tears just moments before he reached for her, maybe if she hadn't been in danger it would be different now.

Olivia sat in the passengers seat with her head resting on the window. The tension was killing her. She wanted to speak but she was torn. She loved every minute with him in the cribs; she wanted to tell him that but she couldn't because the other half of her was screaming thoughts of doubt. As active of a participant as he had been she couldn't help but think he was regretting his actions now.

The silence did nothing to reassure her.

Moments later they pulled up to her apartment and entered the lobby of her building, each carefully avoiding walking too close to the other. As they neared her door, Olivia began fumbling with her keys. She had just stuck they key in the lock when Elliot's hand reached out and stopped hers.

"Wait", he said. Taking out his gun, Elliot pressed himself against the frame, pointedly putting himself between the door and Olivia. He cautiously opened the door and slipped inside.

He walked through each room, checking it thoroughly, with Olivia following closing behind him; her gun also in hand.

"Looks like we're clear", said Elliot as he put his gun back into his holster. Olivia gave a small smile before putting her gun on her nightstand. The fact that Elliot was standing in her bedroom was a little unnerving. Her body had been on fire ever since their incident in the cribs and she wanted nothing more than for him to throw her on her bed and douse that fire.

But they couldn't.

Because they hadn't talked about it yet and she didn't know what it had meant, what it would mean.

Olivia ran her fingers through her hair and let out a small sigh. "I think I am going to take a shower."

Elliot, whose mind was wondering just the same, nodded but otherwise did not move.

"El?" Olivia cleared her throat, "El", she said again, slightly louder.

Elliot shook his head, breaking the trance he was in. "Yeah", he said, sounding slightly startled."

"El, I could use some privacy", she said while awkwardly shifting herself towards the bathroom and motioning him to her bedroom door.

"Oh yeah. Um alright, I'll be right outside", he said, pointing out towards the living room.

She nodded and he smiled at her before exiting the room, closing the door behind him.

Olivia walked over to her bedroom door and locked it behind her. She spun around and flattened her body against the back of the door; as if preventing herself from running out to Elliot. She knew they had to talk about what had happened, it was vital for their friendship to survive. Still, there was a part of her that didn't want to talk but instead pick up where they left off.

She shook her head at the floor, her internal debate preventing her from doing anything else. Deciding that sooner was better than later she opened the door, surprised to find Elliot on the other side with his hand raised as if ready to knock.

"We need to talk", she said, walking past him before he had a chance to reply. She sat on her couch and motioned for him to join her. When he did she situated herself to face him, gathering her thoughts as much as she could before opening her mouth to speak. What she didn't expect, was Elliot to be the first to break the silence.

"Liv", he began, "I don't know what to say. All I know is that I really enjoyed being with you. You're my best friend, and I don't want to ruin that, but I don't regret doing what we did."

Olivia let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding and let his words sink in. "I thought you didn't know what to say", she mused, trying to cut some tension.

Elliot let out a small chuckle and searched her eyes for some clue as to what she was thinking. "Your turn."

Olivia nodded and pulled herself closer to Elliot, placing a gentle had on his knee. "I don't want to ruin this either, El, your friendship is about the only thing I can count on right now and I don't want to lose that."

Elliot took her hand in his. "You never will. Olivia, if you let me, I will always be here for you." Something in his voice scared her, the honesty, the pure unrelenting trust he had in his eyes as he spoke.

It made her want to give in to him, to give herself to him

"El", she said, "I don't know what happened earlier today, all I know is that I didn't want it to stop. Being with you like that, it just felt right. Ya know?"

Elliot smiled, "Yeah", he said, "I know."

He leaned his head in, cautious with his actions; slowly, he moved closer and captured her lips in a kiss.

The kiss was short lived, almost as if asking permission from the other. They pulled apart but kept close, their noses touching and their eyes locked on the others.

Elliot leaned forward again, just enough so their lips were just barely toughing. Knowing that he was waiting for her, Olivia deepened the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. His hands rested on her waist but did not move.

Elliot had to fight the urge to ravage her; against every instinct in his body he told himself to remain still, to wait for her.

Olivia felt the heat rising through her. She snaked her arms down his back and then up again, resting on his shoulder blades.

Elliot moaned as he felt his erection straining against his slacks, begging for freedom. "Liv", he said, pulling away from her, "wait."

Olivia's hands fell from his back and she stared at him in confusion. "Is there something wrong?" She asked, the sting of rejection evident in her voice.

"No. No Liv, you're perfect. It's just", he looked down and swallowed hard. "You are going through a lot right now, your not thinking straight and I don't want to take advantage of you."

Olivia smiled, realizing that his hesitance was due to his concern and not her.

"I need you", she whispered.

Her words sent a throbbing ache to the middle of him and his pants were suddenly too tight.

Elliot's hands returned to her waist but did not travel any further; he was still hesitating. Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her once again.

"Its ok", she whispered.

And that was last he needed.

Elliot claimed her lips in a passionate kiss, his hands no longer at her waist but pawing at her blouse. As each button came undone, Olivia let out something between a moan and a giggle.

Elliot smiled against her lips. His hands seemed to be everywhere, running up her sides, caressing her breasts, sliding down her back; the sensation was almost too much, her body reacting vigorously to his each and every touch.

Feeling the need to overwhelm him as much as he was her, she slid over him, her legs on either side of him, her body grinding against his.

Elliot moaned as he ran his hands up and down her back once more. "Bedroom", he asked.

Olivia smiled and nodded. She climbed off of him and stood up, Elliot following close behind her. He held her hands in his; they molded perfectly together.

"I love you", he whispered.

Olivia wasn't sure she had heard him right. However, he didn't give her long enough to second guess herself, punctuating his sentence with his lips against her neck as he kissed and sucked at her skin.

Olivia moaned, one hand on the back of his head, the other moving down to grab his ass and he growled at her assertiveness.

"Bedroom." She reminded him.

Elliot smiled and took her hand, leading her to the bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and laid her gently on the bed.

She made quick work of his shirt hand tie, running her hands down his chest, feeling the bulk of his muscles underneath his skin. His hands moved to the clasp of her bra, undoing it with skill as he slid it off her shoulders along with her shirt.

His lips were on hers again, slowly positioning himself on top of her.

Olivia could feel his erection pushing against her and she moaned into his mouth. Her hands moved to his pants, fumbling with the button until she got it undone. He grinded against her, using her body to slide them off of him.

Elliot slipped his hand down her slacks, grasping at her panties.

"So perfect", he whispered.

Elliot slid her pants down her long, toned legs, his fingers dancing against her skin as they made their way down. Sliding back up to her, he met her in another passionate kiss.

Olivia ran her hands down the hard plains of his chest, loving the feel of him. She reached into his boxers and gasped into his mouth at the size of him. Elliot pushed himself up, allowing her to slide them off, freeing his erection from its cage.

His hands made their way back up Olivia's legs and under the waistband of her panties. Sliding his hands to the junction of her legs, he slipped them off of her.

Both completely naked; Elliot on top of Olivia, her arms wrapped around him, they both felt the dynamic shift.

This was it, there was no going back now.

Elliot reached down in between them, his thick fingers finding her entrance. He slid a finger inside of her and she gasped out in pleasure. Elliot's thumb began massaging her clit as he added another finger and began pumping in and out of her.

"Oh my God, Elliot", she gasped, clawing down his back.

Elliot loved the slight of her; her face flushed, her eyes closed, head thrown back. Moments later he felt her clench around his fingers. Elliot couldn't believe how tight she was as she came around his hand, moaning his name.

He removed his fingers and braced himself above her. He nuzzled her nose with his as he rubbed up against her entrance, letting her know that he was ready.

Olivia wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer to her. Still he did not move.

"I meant it when I said I loved you, ya know."

Olivia looked up at him and smiled. "I know", she replied, "I love you too."

She kissed him; her lips had just made contact with his when she felt him lower himself, easing into her.

The sensation quickly took over her body; she had never felt anything like it. He was huge and reached parts of her that no other man had been able to touch.

It seamed fitting. He was the only man who had been able to reach the depths of her heart so it was only appropriate that he would be able to fill the rest of her so completely.

She smiled at the cheesiness of her notion but any opportunity she had to laugh at herself was lost in the immense pleasure rocketing through her.

He began thrusting, her hips moving to meet his rhythm. Olivia felt herself clamping down on him again but she refused to give in, she wanted to wait for him.

The tightness around him was amazing, he could not remember when making love felt this good. He was making love, something he hadn't done in years. Sure he had sex, they both did, but neither of them could remember the last time they had actually made love, acted out of true emotion and not just lust.

Elliot felt himself nearing his climax, intensifying each thrust.

Olivia threw her head back and began to writhe, the sensation bringing her body to convulse as another powerful orgasm ripped through her, Elliot not far behind her as his body began to shake.

He moaned her name as he felt himself release and white hot flashes shot across his vision.

The feeling of him, of his body throbbing inside of hers, was enough to send her over the edge. Her muscles drew tight and every nerve in her body seized as fireworks exploded behind her eyes.

When it was over, the lay there both smiles plastered on their faces, Elliot still on top of and inside her.

He leaned in to kiss her, soft and sweet. "I love you", she said.

Elliot smiled and kissed her again. "I love you too, Olivia." And just like that, his body began to stir within hers.


	10. Chapter 10

Olivia opened her eyes, greeted by the sunlight shining through her windows. She rolled over onto her side, facing the sleeping man next to her.

It had been just under three weeks since they first made love. Despite everything that had gone on in the past few weeks, Olivia couldn't help but feel the overwhelming joy of something going right in her life and that something right was sleeping right next to her.

Things had been quiet; Harris was still on the loose but at least he had not victimized anyone else. Olivia closed her eyes, she wondered if he had finally given up, if all of this was her punishment and he had no real intentions of coming after her.

She pushed all thoughts of Harris aside as she snuggled up to Elliot, placing soft kisses all over his face.

"Morning beautiful", said Elliot with his eyes still closed but a grin on his face.

"Good morning", Olivia replied, placing another kiss on his lips.

In less than a second Elliot had brought her to him and rolled them over, Olivia on top.

"Yeah, it is a good morning." Elliot smiled and ran his hands up Olivia's sides.

She bent down to kiss him, leaving a trail from his lips down to his chest. "I bet I can think of a way to make it better", she said between kisses, all the while grinding on him.

"God Liv," Elliot said, panting, "That feels so good."

Olivia could feel him hardening beneath her. She reached between them and pulled out the sheet that was barricading their naked bodies. With the new found freedom, Olivia positioned herself above him.

Elliot's hands found her waist and he groaned as he brought her down to him, the new position allowing him to explore deeper within her.

Olivia let out a moan as she felt her body stretch to accept him. They kept the pace rapid, their bodies moving in unison.

Olivia's head was thrown back in pleasure as the tremors began to flow through her.

Elliot's face was fixed on her breasts, mesmerized by their movements as she rode him. He reached between them and began rubbing her clit, knowing just how and when to touch her.

Olivia's moans became louder and her movements became more determined, more animalistic and primal, as she reached her climax.

Elliot couldn't hold it any longer, the sound of her moaning and the sudden rush of her fluids dousing him was enough to finish him off.

She fell on top of him, panting, still shaking from the intense orgasm she always got with Elliot.

"That was amazing", she panted.

Gaining back his breath, Elliot ran his hands up her back, pulling her into an embrace. "Yes", he began, "you are."

Olivia kissed him once more and sighed in the content of the moment. She laid on his chest for a moment, enjoying the feel of his heart beating against him, before finally climbing off of him and heading towards the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" Elliot asked from the bed.

Olivia looked at him and smiled. "I'm going to go take a shower, I'm meeting with Warner today and I can't show up smelling like your cologne."

Elliot smiled at his words. "Why are you meeting with Warner?"

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know. She sent me a text asking me to meet with her. I called her back but she didn't answer."

Elliot's eyes raked up and down her body. He was still tangled in the sheets and he was sad to see the morning end so soon. "Where are you meeting her?"

"Corner of 4th and Cotton. Why?"

Elliot reached out from the bed and grabbed her hand. "Wanted to see if you wanted to grab a bite", he said, stroking her palm with his thumb.

Olivia smiled at him. "Well I'm meeting her at five, so I'll see you around 5:30 maybe 6:00?"

Elliot got off the bed and placed a quick kiss on her lips. "Sounds good."

He gave her another kiss before moving to her neck. "You know what else sounds good?"

Olivia giggled and placed her hand on the back of his head. "I think I know." She squealed as he lifted her up, her legs wrapped around him as he placed her back on the bed.

Elliot's hand trailed down her stomach. Upon reaching its destination, he slipped a finger between her folds.

"Shower can wait", she whispered as she bucked her hips, allowing him to feel her want, her need.

Elliot placed a gentle kiss on her stomach, slowly moving down to meet his fingers.

Olivia gripped the sheets. She knew what was coming and with each and every kiss downward her anticipation grew. Finally, his tongue met with his hand. Elliot began lapping at her as is fingers began thrusting. He knew what he was doing, what his touch did to her. He loved the sound of her moans. It spurred him on, made him work harder to please her.

Olivia started to writhe. She swore Elliot was some kind of sex god; every time he touched her he set fire to her nerve endings. Feeling herself nearing the edge she brought Elliot up to meet her face, her lips meeting his in a haphazard kiss.

Her hands made their way to his shaft and she began stroking him. Elliot sat back on his heels, granting her more access to his hardened length.

Wanting to return some of the pleasure he had given her, she shifted, giving herself leverage to bend down. Elliot's mouth was hung open, facing the ceiling, so he did not notice what she was doing until he felt her mouth closing in on him.

"Jesus, Olivia wha-"

He was cut off by the moan that seemed to throw itself from his lips.

Olivia smiled but was careful to maintain the pressure with her lips as her tongue moved to lavish him. Elliot wasn't sure how much longer he could last, the woman would be the end of him.

Elliot ran his hands down her back then up to meet her shoulders. He pulled her up to him, unable to contain the grin on his face.

He laid her back down on the bed, holding her close to him.

He kissed her as he moved to enter, a soft moan escaping her lips.

Elliot set the pace this time. It was not ragged or hurried like the last, but slow and caring. He feared that two rounds of such callous sex would hurt her, so he took his time; his thrusts still deep but much gentler.

Olivia's hands grasped his shoulders, the feeling inside her so intense she feared she would fly away if she didn't grip onto something.

They both reached their climaxes at the same time. They lay there shaking, bathed in sweat. Elliot rested his head in the crook of her neck as he tried to catch his breath. After a few minutes he lifted himself up to face her. She was beautiful; even with her hair tasseled and her makeup long gone, she was beautiful. "You know how gorgeous you are?." He said, more of a statement than a question

Olivia smiled at his words. She knew she wasn't bad looking but she never thought of herself as gorgeous. But Elliot did, he believed that she was perfect. He loved everything about her; her looks, her personality, the way she carried herself, the way she carried others, her smile, her laugh, her body, and as of lately, her libido. Yes, he loved everything about her. Elliot made her feel adored. He made her feel special and laying there in his arms, for the first time in her life, she believed she was.

* * *

Elliot walked into the squad room with a smile on his face. Everyone could tell that something had changed with him in the past few weeks; the once pathologically angry Stabler had become more cheerful, more care free. Given the circumstances, his divorce, his partner's safety, this came a quite a shock.

Those who worked closely with Elliot and considered him a friend suspected a reason for his change in demeanor; the reason being the women he sat across from for twelve years. Although no one had yet to confront him about the drastic change in their partnership they knew had occurred, Elliot had a gut feeling that they knew.

And his gut was never wrong.

"Munch", Elliot called out. "Anything new?"

Munch looked at him and shook his head. His response and been the same for weeks. "Nope, Parker said he would contact us if he found out anything but we all know that's a stretch."

"Yeah", said Elliot, "I can't believe we still don't have a lead. You're sure you didn't miss anything on Parker?"

"Guy is clean", interrupted Fin. "Well, as clean as that scum can get but he doesn't know where Harris is. Parkers a coward. If he knew he was a suspect he would give Harris up in a heartbeat to get a better deal."

Elliot nodded, taking Fin's words into consideration. After all, Fin did know him best; they had worked together while he was undercover.

"So what now", asked Elliot. "Where do we go from here?"

"Unless you want to interview the security guard or the parking attendant again I'd say we hit a dead end", said Cragen, coming out of his office. "How's Liv?"

Elliot smiled at the mention of her name, which did not go unnoticed. "She's good. She's meeting with Warner today and after we were going to grab some dinner, so Cap' if you wouldn't mind-"

"Go ahead, Elliot." Cragen said, knowing what he was about to ask before he could finish.

Elliot smiled and nodded his head. "Thanks Cap, I shouldn't be leaving too early. Maybe around five."

Munch and Fin looked at each other, trying to hide the smirks on their faces. They knew what was going on between him and Olivia; as much as it pained them, especially Munch, they kept their sarcastic comments to themselves.

Elliot's phone began ringing, the loud chime gaining everyone's attention. Elliot flipped the phone open and read the caller ID before answering. _Warner._

"Stabler"

Silence

"Hello"

Silence

"Melinda?"

Silence

Elliot hung up the phone and looked at the other two detectives. "Well that was weird", he said.

Fin nodded, "Probably just bad reception. Those medical lights always mess with phone signals."

The phone rang again, this time it was the squad phone on John's desk. "Hello", he answered, "Melinda hi. Yeah. Okay, we'll be right there." He hung up the phone and walked back to Elliot's desk.

"That was Warner. She's got something for us."

* * *

**Location- Corner of 4th**** and Cotton**

Olivia stood alongside a building waiting for her friend, all the while wondering why she had chosen such a strange location. It wasn't that this was a bad neighborhood; it was just unusual that she would want to meet here instead of at the precinct or her office.

Olivia dismissed it as nothing. This was certainly not the strangest thing she had encountered.

Still, she couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity from her. She knew this place; she just didn't know how. Her line of work involved a lot of canvassing and she had seen quite a bit of the city but something about this place was different, almost eerie.

Olivia was brought out of her thoughts by a smell, an all too familiar smell.

_Weed._ She thought._ Probably just some high school punks. _

Olivia followed the smell in hopes of finding it's creator and setting him or her straight.

She walked down the street, heading towards the thickening aroma, searching for smoke. She turned the corner of a fence and was greeted by another all too familiar smell: decay, death.

* * *

**Location- Morgue**

"Elliot, John, come in", said Melinda as she motioned them into the room.

"What have you got for us?" Asked Elliot.

Melinda walked over to one of the slabs and removed the sheet covering the newest body. "Victim was strangled, judging by the thick bruising I would say by a belt. Signs of sexual assault, but no fluids."

"Have we got an ID?" Munch asked.

Warner shook her head. "No, you will have to take this one to the media. Jane Doe, 5'2, 130lbs, blonde, mid twenties."

Elliot shook his head and stared at the body before him. She looked remarkably like his daughter. Same age, hair color, about the same build except Maureen was slightly taller than this girl.

His thoughts were interrupted by a vibrating sound coming from one of the tables. "Sorry", said Melinda as she walked over to the source of the sound. "New phone, haven't figured out how to turn off the vibrate off yet."

Munch sighed and looked at the body once more. "I'll get the word out on our Jane Doe. Let us know if anything else comes up."

Melinda nodded before returning her attention to her phone, pressing random buttons and keys. "Amazing", she scoffed, "I can make it through med school but I cant figure out a stupid blackberry."

Elliot chuckled, taking the phone from her hands. "Here, let me help you."

Elliot opened the phone and noted the time, 5:00. "Hey Melinda, your going to be late of you don't get going soon."

"Where am I going?" She asked.

Elliot looked at her, confused by her question. "Aren't you meeting Liv at five today?"

Melinda shook her head, "Not that I know of."

It was then that all the pieces fell into place. "Melinda", Elliot began, "When did you get this phone?"

"Earlier today. I left my old one on my desk for two minutes. I came back and it was gone. I searched for it everywhere but no luck."

He knew then what had happened, why he had received a call from her cell when it had been missing for hours. He knew something wasn't right; he felt it in his gut.

And his gut was never wrong.

Melinda shrugged. "Someone must have stolen it."

His blood ran cold.

_Someone must have stolen it. _

Her last words taunted him, because someone had stolen her phone and Liv was alone, waiting for him.

* * *

**Location- Corner of 4****th**** and Cotton**

Olivia cautiously reared the corner, fearing that her instincts were right and there was a dead body on the other side of that fence.

It was then that recognition took over and she knew why this place seemed so familiar.

The source of the first smell had been the plants growing in the garden on the other side of the fence.

It was the garden where Ashley Tyler had first been found.

The second smell was much more frightening. Olivia braced herself as she turned to take in the sight before her.

For there, laying in the exact same position as the first time they had met, was the decaying remains of Ashley Tyler.


	11. Chapter 11

**Location: Corner of 4th and Cotton**

She couldn't breathe. Before she could even scream massive hands had encaged her throat, stealing her breath, silencing her cries. She moved to strike but with one hand still choking her the other moved to meet where her arms bent; pinning them down and leaving her defenseless.

She tried to scream but all that came out was a raspy, forced breath; one that she could not afford to lose. The lack of oxygen was making her dizzy and she looked around for something or someone to help her.

It was then that she noticed he had moved her and they were behind the house, in an alley, alone.

* * *

**Location - Morgue**

"Elliot, what's wrong?" Asked Melinda, confused by the horrific look on his face. Elliot took out his phone and dialed Olivia's number, praying that she would answer.

"Come on Liv, pick up", he begged, "Please Olivia, pick up the phone." Elliot lost his breath, her voicemail confirming his fears. "Melinda," yelled Elliot before he dashed for the door, "don't move. Call security and have them stay with you."

"Elliot, what is this about?" She shouted back, but he did not hear her. He had been out the door before she could even finish her sentence, sprinting to his car, praying that he would get there in time.

* * *

**Location- Alley of 4****th**** and Cotton**

He was behind her. With every force in his body he slammed her against the side of the building. Her consciousness betraying her as darkness threatened to engulf her. He threw her to the ground and quickly climbed on top of her, straddling her.

It was then that she first saw him, not that she needed to; she knew who he was.

Harris laughed at the expression on her face: wide eyed and etched in fear. Taking advantage of her pause, he pinned her arms above her head with one hand, using the other to roam over her flesh.

Olivia rocked her body, trying to throw him off balance, but her writhing only excited him more as she felt him growing harder. Once again, she tried to scream but Harris had crushed her throat in the attack, making it hard to breathe let alone call for help.

She choked on her frustration as she forced out her raspy cries.

"What's the matter Kat?" He asked, rocking his hips, grinding into her. "Don't want to pick up where we left off?"

Olivia shuttered at his words. She tried to pull her arms free and nearly succeeded but his hands caught hers again and returned them to the ground, her strength pale against his.

He drew back his free hand; bringing it down in a crushing slap, exploding into her face.

Darkness was once again trying to take her. As much as she wanted to give in to the darkness, knowing that she would not be able to stop him this time, she forced herself awake; praying that she could find a way out of his grasp and out of this nightamre.

His free hand went over her shirt, assaulting her curves. He gripped the material of her collar and pulled, lifting her off the ground as he ripped it from her body. The fabric snapped and her body collided with the ground, causing her to lose what breath she could catch.

"Har. . . Harris." She knew it was useless but she had to try to reason with him. Her voice was strained and broken, belaying the damage he had caused. "Harris. . . Please."

He laughed and crashed his lips onto hers. It was then that she began to cry, her salty tears mingling with the forced kiss.

"I'm so glad that I get to hear you beg", he mocked as he rocked her body with his. He undid his belt and slid down his pants.

Olivia wanted to die; it had taken everything in her to force out what she feared would be her last words. She was begging and her pleas for mercy had gone unanswered.

Harris wasted no time with his boxers, ripping them off in a violent eager manner. His hand roamed down her pants and his fingers danced along his goal.

He pulled at her waistband; the button ripped open and the zipper was split. He pulled her jeans off of her, taking with them her panties. Olivia struggled more than ever before as his hand made its way up her skin to her bra; which he tore off of her just them same.

She could feel the heat coming from his erection and she shuttered in disgust. Harris smiled as his hand returned in between her legs, cupping her roughly.

Olivia tossed from side to side, rocking her hips, pivoting herself upward, doing anything she could to prevent the inevitable.

His nails dug into the tender flesh of her inner thigh and she whimpered from the pain. In one swift movement he had her legs pried open and situated himself in between them. He bent down to the side of her face as his hand grasped between her legs once again, belaying his message with a physical demonstration of his control.

"I have waited so long for this", he snarled. "I am going to take my time and enjoy it."

He jammed two fingers inside of her and twisted, loving the sight of her trembling body. "You like that," he mocked, "how about this?" He said as another finger invaded. He trust his fingers in a punishing rhythm, curling, pushing, and taunting her.

Even now she struggled, desperation taking over. Olivia sobbed as waves of horror crashed over her. She tried to pull her wrists free but his iron grip would not let up and each time she struggled she only succeeded in causing herself more pain.

Harris removed his fingers and braced himself above her. His lips were once again on hers in a frantic, hungry kiss. She screamed against his lips as she felt him settle between her legs.

He smiled sadistically and rubbed against her. It thrilled him to know that she was powerless, that all she could do was wait for him to strike.

Her eyes were squeezed shut and every muscle in her body tensed in pain as his first thrust tore through her. She opened her mouth to scream but managed only a small cry. Still, it was enough to entice him as he began lunging himself in and out of her.

Olivia tried to escape, willing her body to unconsciousness, but she couldn't bring herself to black out. The searing pain between her legs was too overwhelming. She could feel her blood pouring out from her as each thrust shredded her just a little bit more.

Even now she struggled, but the fight was slowly leaving her as the seconds lengthened to minutes and his thrusts grew more frantic.

"You want to know a secret", grunted Harris, "You are the best. Better than that slut Amber, that bitch who called herself my boss, and that little whore Ashley." He punctuated each name with a sharp thrust, enjoying the feel of her body as it struggled against his.

Olivia let out a heartwrenching sob; she felt as if she would burst if she were forced to take in any more of him.

Harris wanted her to suffer, he made sure she knew it; each forceful jab pushing against her cervix.

Eventually, the pain took over and Olivia was granted the mercy of unconsciousness.

* * *

It was dark, cold, and terrifying. She lay there in the alley, eyes closed, unsure of how long she had been out, it could have been minutes, or even hours. She tried to move but the intense pain in her lower abdomen made it impossible.

She moved to close her legs but she stopped when her thighs closed around something that shook her to her very core, bringing back the humiliation and pain of the last hour: Harris.

"You want to hear how she begged," he asked, "She just kept pleading, not again, no, please don't" He said in a mocking tone. "She was the only one that begged. The others didn't have a chance, but of course I had help with them."

Olivia's eyes shot open at his confession. She opened her mouth to speak but soon remembered that her voice had been stolen from her, along with everything else.

Harris gazed at her and smiled, her teary eyes and bruised face bringing him satisfaction. His only regret was that she had been out for his climax; he would have loved to have seen the broken, defeated look on her face as he finally claimed her.

"I wonder if Melinda will beg?" At the mention of her friend's name, Olivia found the strength to break free from his hold; pivoting herself up and striking him across his face. Harris scowled and brought his fist into her stomach. Her body curled and she tried to double over in pain but Harris was still between her legs, preventing her from moving and leaving her body exposed.

He slammed another fist into her side sending shock waves of pain through her. Olivia could tell instantly that her ribs were broken. He got off of her and stood, towering above her broken body.

His foot went flying into her, a shattering kick to her stomach knocking her body on to her side. Harris sent another devastating blow at the newly exposed flesh of her back.

The attacks kept coming one after another until she stopped moving.

Harris looked at her, then around him, checking his surroundings. He quickly got dressed before returning to Olivia's broken and abused body. Her eyes were closed and she was barely breathing

"Wake up", he said, lightly slapping her face, "Wake up. I got a message for ya."

Olivia's eyes barely opened, the figure before her a blur. "I'm not done ya know. That little bitch who helped you nail me to the cross is gonna get it. I wanted you to know that."

Olivia looked at him in horror. He was going to hurt her friend, maybe even kill her and there was nothing she could do about it. "This", he said as he rubbed his clothed erection against her, "this is for Melinda."

"And this", he said, taking out a knife, "is for you." With that, Harris jammed the knife into her side, right above her hip, just as he had with the others.

He smiled but the sound of an approaching car distracted him from his victory. He quickly got up and fled the scene.

The car door slammed shut and Olivia could hear the frantic steps and the panicked calls accompanying them. "Liv!" She knew that voice but she couldn't bring herself to answer. Olivia could feel the life draining out of her in a river of red as her muscles began to relax and her pain slowly slipped away.

Elliot ran up and down the sides of every building, searching for Olivia. He turned the corner of the garden and saw Ashley's body. "Oh no", he cried, "Oh God, please no. Olivia!" Elliot ran through the garden and turned the corner at the back of the house into the alley.

The sight before him would haunt him forever. Olivia lay there, bruised, bloody, and naked; her face was pale and her eyes were closed on her tearstained face. He pulled out his radio, calling for help as he ran towards her. "Liv!" He screamed as he fell to the floor next to her. He took off his coat and wrapped it around her broken, exposed body, putting pressure on her wound.

The world seemed to stop. Everything was at a stand still, he couldn't hear, feel, or see anything around him. The only thing in the world that mattered was in his arms, clinging on to life.

"Hold on," he begged. He actually begged. Elliot Stabler had never begged for anything in his life; but now his life, his world, his everything, was slipping away.

He looked at her, tears threatening to fall as he inspected the damage. Every inch of her was covered in bruises and her thighs were coated in blood and the evidence of Harris' attack.

They lay there on the cold cement of the alley way praying that help would come soon.

"Elliot," she stirred, "Elliot." Her voice was weak and her eyes were drifting close. She tried to cling to him, wanting the last thing she felt on this earth being the warm comfort that was his embrace.

Yes, she tried to cling to him. But her body was unresponsive.

"Liv stay with me!"

This time he screamed, afraid that anything less would not make it past the fog she was in. "Liv," he cried out again, "Olivia hang on, help is coming. I can hear the sirens. Listen."

But she just lay still.

He lifted her in an attempt to make her listen. He knew it was wrong to move a person when then are injured but he had to try something, anything, if it meant she would stay with him even just a minute longer.

"El," her voice was barely a whisper, thoughts of Melinda forcing her to body to respond. She had to save her. "Elliot listen to me, I have to . . . I have to . . . to tell you." But she couldn't finish, her head was pounding and the blood loss was making her world spin.

"What is it, Liv?" Elliot looked down at her and his face went pale.

The tears that he had been trying so hard to hold back were now flooding down his face. "Liv!" He cried.

She did not respond.

He stroked her cheek in an attempt to wake her but she did not stir.

Yes, he couldn't feel, hear, or see anything around him; anything outside of the nightmare that he was now faced with.

But he could feel her limp in his arms, hear her breathing slow, and see, oh god could he see.

He could see that she was dying.


	12. Chapter 12

Elliot held his head in his hands, the bustle of the waiting room unbeknownst to him. His thoughts consisted only of Olivia. _What if she doesn't make it?_ He thought. What_ if she does, oh god, will she ever be the same?_

Elliot lifted his head revealing his tear stained face. His eyes roamed the room, as if expecting the answers to be written on the walls.

"Elliot", called a familiar voice. Elliot turned his head, his Captain meeting his ragged form. "How is she?"

"I don't know", he said, stifling a cry. "She's still in surgery and the doctors won't tell me anything."

Cragen sat down in the chair beside him, his own mind reeling with questions. "What happened?"

"I don't know Cap." His words were a mere whisper. "I just saw her after. I wasn't there. I should have been but I wasn't. God, I should have been there!" Elliot stood from the waiting room chair and started pacing angrily. "I was supposed to protect her, I promised her I'd keep her safe!" Elliot was screaming, the enormity of the situation striking with full force.

"Elliot calm down," said Cragen, his hands on Elliot's shoulders, "this isn't the time to break down, this is the time to be strong for her. This wasn't your fault and beating yourself up is not going to help her. Keep it together, son."

Cragen's words reverberated in his head. _Son. _Cragen had always been like a surrogate father to Elliot, always there to praise him when he had done right and there to scold him when he had done wrong. He kept him in line, kept him level. Yes, Cragen had been a surrogate father to him and, also, to Olivia.

As that thought crossed his mind, Elliot turned to look at Cragen, to really, really look at him. The man sitting before him was not Captain Donald Cragen, but simply Don; a worried father, petrified for his little girl.

"Family of Olivia Benson", called the nurse suddenly.

"That's us", said Elliot as he and Cragen made their way to where she was standing, "How is she?" The fear in Elliot's voice was unmistakable.

The nurse sighed. "She is out of surgery; the stab wound wasn't very deep but she does have some internal injuries from the multiple contusions she suffered as well as four broken ribs. She has a mild concussion and most likely will be in and out of consciousness for the next few hours. We have given her something for the pain but there is not much more we can do. The best thing for her to do right now is to get some rest and let her body heal."

Her words were both a god sent and an axe to him. He hurt for the woman he loved; he wanted to take away her pain, both physical and emotional. He hated that she was suffering, and yet, suffering meant she was alive.

"Can we see her", Elliot's voice was layered with emotions; concern, fear, love, and hope. "Please?"

The nurse nodded her head, evident that she understood Elliot's pain. "Right this way."

The two followed the nurse down the hall to Olivia's room; though her room was not that far away the walk there seemed to drag on forever. Each step Elliot took felt longer than the last. His breaths were becoming heavy and his legs seemed to weaken with every step.

When they finally made it to her room, Elliot paused. He looked at Cregan, who had his hand on the door knob, uncertainty suddenly coursing through him. "Wait," he said, his voice thick with anxiety. "Maybe we shouldn't both go in."

Cragen looked at him, confused for a moment, until the tears in Elliot's eyes belayed what he was truly trying to say. Olivia wasn't just his partner, she wasn't just his friend, he was in love with her and he needed to be there for her in the way that a lover should. he couldn't do that with his captain there; not when their relationship hadn't been discussed.

Cragen nodded and took a step back, motioning for Elliot to enter the room, alone. "Just tell her I'm here and when she is ready to see me just let me know and I'll be right there."

Elliot nodded and turned to place his hand on the knob. He turned it slightly, took a deep breath, then preceded to open the door. He slowly stepped in, still unsure of what to do or say.

As he approached the bed all the training from the last 12 years left him. He had dealt with victims before; he knew what to say, how to say it, when to move, when to keep still, but nothing, not any amount of training could have prepared him for this. The woman before him was not just a victim, she was Olivia, his Olivia.

"Hey." It was all he could manage. Olivia looked up at him, it was the only sign she gave that she had heard him. Elliot cleared his throat and stepped closer to her. Olivia closed her eyes and let out a slow breath. When she was done her eyes returned to Elliot but soon fell to her lap, unable or unwilling to look him in the eye.

"Liv, its just me." Elliot sensed her discomfort and couldn't help but feel that he was the cause of it.

"Is Melinda okay?", she asked in a whisper.

"She's fine", he began. "I had her call security before I left." Olivia nodded. "Cragen is here. He's in the waiting room. Do you want me to go get him?"

Olivia shook her head and let out another long breath.

Elliot sat down beside her but was careful to keep his distance.

She went to move her legs to give him more room but stopped when pain shot through her, radiating her core. Her arms immediately wrapped around her abdomen, trying to ease the fire that burned her every muscle as she whimpered in pain.

"Woe, Liv take it easy", said Elliot as he helped her lay back. "Just rest okay. Just lay down." Olivia's glassy eyes filled his vision. He wanted to hold her, comfort her, but he was afraid that his touch would do more harm than good.

"My ribs are broken." She said softly, trying to distract him and herself from where the sudden rush of pain had really came from. Acknowledging that pain, admitting that she was hurting, would make it real.

As it stood now, Olivia was just injured, her broken ribs and concussion were just physical ailments. The rest of her, well that was different, too copious, too intimate, too much for her handle right now.

"Do you need something? Would you like me to get the doctor?" Elliot asked in a concerned voice.

Olivia shook her head, "No, no I just want to go home."

"You can't do that, Liv. You need to be here so the doctors can keep an eye on you."

At his words, Olivia's eyes began to water, her cheeks turned red and her head fell forward into her hands.

"I can't do it El", she whispered brokenly.

Elliot wrapped her in his arms, careful as to not cause her anymore pain; his previous concerns still there. "Its okay. Olivia, its going to be okay." His words were soothing but his mind was reeling.

There was something in her voice, something about the way she was trembling that gave him a clue as to what she was really talking about.

Elliot pulled her away from him so he could look her in the eyes when he spoke. "You haven't gotten the exam yet, have you", his question more of a statement, just seeking confirmation.

Olivia let out a sob as her tears spilt over. "No", she cried as she shook her head.

Elliot brought her to him again. "Shhh, its ok Liv, I'm here. I'm right here."

Olivia cried into his shoulder, frustrated by her own actions. She knew how important the rape kit was, how vital it was to bringing that monster to justice. Still, she couldn't do it. She couldn't do what she had convinced so many women into consenting to.

"Elliot, I can't", she cried again. "I know what they ask. I know what they do. I don't think I can take it."

Elliot smoothed out her hair and ran his hand down her back in a comforting, protective fashion.

"I've got you, Olivia. I'm right here and no one is going to hurt you. You can do this. You are strong. I'll be right here for you." He gave her a gentle squeeze of comfort. "I'm here."

A knock at the door disturbed their reverie and a nurse pushing a cart came into view.

"Ms. Benson, we need to start the kit as soon as possible." The nurse gave a sad smile in an attempt to comfort her but Olivia didn't notice. He sole focus was on Elliot's warm, protective gaze.

"I'm here", he mouthed to her.

With that last bit of encouragement, Olivia nodded her head and turned to the nurse. "Okay", she whispered, "Okay."


	13. Chapter 13

**LMAO Review**

**-Poor Liv. Hope Elliot tortures the bastard and city's his knob off.**

**That had me practically rolling on the floor laughing. Thanks for the review. **

* * *

Olivia was shaking, trying to answer the nurse's questions while she readied the intrusive instruments used to perform the rape kit. "Other than your attacker have you had sexual intercourse with any other person in the last 24 hours?"

Olivia swallowed hard. "Yes," she choked out, her throat still bruised from Harris' unforgiving hold.

The nurse raised a scrutinizing eyebrow and scribbled something down on Olivia's chart. "Who?" She asked, plainly, while taking out the stirrups.

"Who do you think!" Barked Elliot.

Olivia flinched at his sudden outburst.

Elliot noticed her reaction and immediately softened his actions, nodding his head in her direction.

"El", whispered Olivia, her quiet plea conveying her fear.

Elliot draped his arms around her and pulled her into a protective hold. "I'm sorry", he whispered to her. Elliot straightened himself and turned to the nurse, Olivia still in his arms. "We had sex this morning."

The nurse scribbled down a few more notes on the chart before placing it on the edge of Olivia's bed. "Ma'am, I am going to need you to stand for the pictures."

Olivia nodded her head and pulled back from Elliot, readying herself to stand. Elliot placed a gentle hand on Olivia's back and helped her to her feet.

Olivia winced as her weight distributed to her trembling legs and she placed her hands on Elliot's shoulders to steady herself.

Seeing her in so much pain broke Elliot's heart. He placed his hands on her waist, trying to help her find some balance.

When she was settled, the nurse stepped behind her and untied her gown. It fell away with ease, revealing every cut, every bruise, every mark that Harris had left her with. Her injuries seemed to scream; Elliot's eyes catching every one.

Olivia fumbled with her arms, trying to cover her exposed body, desperately wanting to disappear as waves of humiliation washed over her.

The camera flashed and she was asked to turn; again the camera went off. With each flash of the camera Olivia felt herself crumble a little bit more inside.

Measurements were taken, documenting her every wound. Her nails were cut and scraped for skin. Blue lights scanned over her, revealing every drop Harris had left on her.

Olivia shuddered at the sight of her thighs; bruised, bloody, and coated with evidence of that tyrant's presence. Another photo was taken and Olivia could feel the familiar sting of humiliation and disgust burning into her skin.

"You may lay down now", said the nurse.

Olivia gulped and sat back down on the bed, grateful for the soft cushion as her body collapsed. The nurse draped a paper sheet over Olivia's legs and she knew what was next: the vaginal exam.

Olivia let out a sob as she placed her legs in the stirrups. Two hands were placed on her knees, guiding her legs apart. Tears were flooding down Olivia's face. She closed her eyes, trying to block out everything around her but when she felt something slide into her, her body jerked and her eyes snapped open, meeting green ones above her.

Olivia bit back a scream and tried desperately to close her legs but the working nurse between her prevented them from moving. "No, please don't! Please", Olivia cried.

At her cries, Elliot knelt down beside her so that her head was level with his.

"Its okay, Liv, she's almost done." Elliot placed his hand on her forehead and brushed the hair out of her face. He took one of Olivia's hands in his, caressing the back of hers with his thumb. "Squeeze my hand when it hurts."

He looked at her, silently asking if she was ready. She nodded and Elliot motioned for the nurse to continue.

The specula spread, leaving her open for whatever else she had to endure. Swabs were taken, fluid extracted, and yes, more pictures. Olivia clung onto Elliot's hand so tight she feared she might break it but he didn't seem to mind.

He just stood beside her, stroking her cheek as the process was repeated to her rectum. When it was over, Elliot pulled her to him, supporting her upper half as she broke down in his arms.

He caressed her back, trying in vain to comfort her. "Its over, Liv. You did great." Her body shook in his arms. "Shhh, its okay, its over."

"Can we just go home?" She asked, her tone soft and defeated.

"Liv", he began, "I don't think-"

"Elliot, please!", she cried, "I don't want to be here. I just want to go home. Please?" Olivia's words were fighting through her tears, green eyes still burning through her vision as she fought to regain control of her trembling body.

"Okay", he began, "Let me go talk to the doctor and see what he says." Olivia nodded and released her hold on him. Elliot gave Olivia's hand a comforting squeeze before getting up from the bed. "I'll be right back."

Elliot walked down the hall searching for Olivia's doctor. He turned the corner of the nurse's station surprised to find Cragen heading towards him with three cups of coffee in his hands.

"Thought you may need a pick me up", said Cragen, handing him a cup.

"Thanks Cap", Elliot began, "Have you seen Liv's doctor? She wants to go home."

Cragen nodded and pointed to a middle aged, tiered looking man standing a few feet away by the nurse's station.

"Doctor", called Elliot as he hurried towards him. "I need to talk to you about the patient in room 103, Olivia Benson."

The doctor nodded his head and lead Elliot down the hall so they could talk in private.

"Olivia Benson, tough girl, has had one hell of a night. I just signed on her kit."

Elliot nodded at the doctor's words. "Yeah, she has had one hell of a night and being here isn't making it any better. Can I take her home? Please?"

The doctor looked at Elliot and shook his head. "I'm sorry sir, her head injury requires some watching over. It's best that she stays here for a couple nights."

"I can watch over her", he assured. "I'll take care of her. If she has any problems I'll bring her right back; just please let me take her home." Elliot's voice was thick with emotion. He felt helpless knowing that Olivia was suffering and the only thing she had asked of him to ease her pain he wouldn't be able to do for her.

Because she was sick, and she needed to be here, even if she didn't want to be.

"I'm sorry", said the doctor, "but she needs to stay. At the very least one night. I will check on her tomorrow and see how she is doing. If she is well enough, then, you may take her home."

Elliot turned away and walked back into Olivia's room, unable to stand there and do nothing.

Cragen was sitting with her, whispering words of encouragement over coffee. Olivia looked up at Elliot and gave a weak smile. "So am I going home?" She asked.

Elliot walked towards her and shook his head. "The doctor said you need to stay over night. Its for your own good, Liv."

Olivia nodded her head, she suspected as much. "Tomorrow then", she asked, too tiered to contest the current situation.

"Yeah, Liv", he said, "Tomorrow."

* * *

_The ground was rough beneath her back, grinding into her skin. Her throat burned with every breath she took. There was a force rocking her body, exerting every effort it had. There was a pain deep inside her and she tried to move away from the monster who was causing it. There was a crushing realization; she was trapped, trapped under this monster, under this force and there was no escape._

_She opened her eyes only to wish that she hadn't, because what she saw, what she couldn't bare to see was the very thing trapping her; that force, that monster, the cause of all her pain had come into view: Harris._

_She opened her mouth to scream but all that came out was blood, her blood. It poured from her body and she desperately tried to stop it but she couldn't because her arms were pinned above her head._

_Sadistic laughter surrounded her, engulfing her.. The blood was all around her now. It was all she could see. She closed her eyes, willing herself to disappear, to escape. But there was no escape._

_Even in the darkness the cruel laughter remained._

"Liv! Olivia, wake up!" Elliot screamed.

Her eyes shot open and her body pivoted forward. Agonizing pain shot through her at the sudden movement. She fell back and clutched her broken body as a sickening feeling took over.

"Liv, Its ok", said Elliot, panicked.

Olivia's eyes found Elliot's, she held his gaze as the torment in her mind slowly came to a halt.

"Its ok", he reassured, "It was just a dream. Your safe."

Olivia drew in a few shaky breaths, her once rapidly beeping heart monitor beginning to slow to normal.

"El", she whispered.

Elliot took her hand; he knew that she needed physical reassurance of her surroundings. "I'm here, Liv. Its ok." He spoke in a soft tone, unsure of where her mind was currently at.

"Elliot, I . . . I didn't, uh, I'm." She fumbled, unable to form a coherent sentence, flashes from the previous night still taunting her.

"Its ok Olivia", he said as he pulled her close to him. "I know. You don't have to say anything. Its ok, you're ok."

Olivia closed her eyes, a few tears escaping as she clung to him. "I'm sorry", she whispered through her tears.

"Don't say that", he began, "Olivia, you have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't do anything wrong. This is not your fault, okay."

Olivia nodded but was otherwise unable to reply.

The door flew open and the doctor rushed into the room, followed by a nurse. "Ms. Benson", said the doctor with concern, "Are you okay?"

The nurse hurried over to the heart monitor and checked her vitals before silencing the machine.

"Yes", said Olivia, "I'm fine, its just . . . I, I just had a little scare." The doctor raised his eyebrow before making his way towards her.

"I need to check your pulse", he said. Olivia held out her hand and concentrated on taking slow even breaths, hoping she did not just lose her chance of going home.

"Doctor", called the nurse, "come here and look at this." He smiled at Olivia before turning over to the nurse who was holding a small strip of paper which the machine had printed out.

"It looks the you had more than just a little scare", he said while looking down at the strip. "According to this you had an anxiety attack."

Olivia closed her eyes and let out a slow breath, trying to calm herself. "So does this mean I am not going home today?"

Elliot chuckled to himself at Olivia's reaction. The woman had just had an anxiety attack and all she cared about was getting home. _She must really hate hospitals. _"Doctor", asked Elliot. "What do you think? Can I take her home today?"

The doctor looked at Olivia. She was slowly gaining her color back and she seemed to have calmed down since they had first came into the room. "I want her to stay here for a few more hours", he began. "Eat something and get better hydrated, then you may take her home. I will be back to check on you after lunch, Olivia. I'll bring the discharge papers."

The doctor nodded at the nurse and the two left the room, leaving her and Elliot alone.

"Looks like you are getting your wish", Elliot mused. "Liv, I really wish you would stay though. I want to make sure you're healthy."

Olivia nodded her head. She understood where he was coming from and she knew he felt concern for her but what he didn't understand, was how she felt, feels. She was trapped by monitors and machines, the hospital gown only exaggerated her numerous cuts and bruises, and the ache between her legs was accompanied by the residue on her thighs begging to be cleansed.

She needed a shower and she did not want to do so in the hospital bathroom where she could be reminded of just what she was washing away.

"El, I'm fine. I just want to go home. Shower in my own bathroom and fall asleep in my own bed."

Elliot nodded. "Okay Liv", he said, not wanting to argue with her. "Once the doctor brings the papers I'll take you home."

Olivia gave a weak smile and scooted to the far side of the bed, allowing Elliot to join her. Elliot pulled her into his arms as soon as he was situated on the bed. She rested her head on his chest, finding comfort in the way it would rise and fall with every breath he took.

Olivia was small in his arms. Elliot held her close in a warm, protective embrace. Though she had survived the attack, her pain was far from over. She was so vulnerable, laying there in his arms. He couldn't imagine why anyone would ever want to hurt her. She was such a gentle person; so warm and loving. He swore that he would kill anyone who ever tried to hurt her.

And then he cursed himself; a crushing realization came thundering down on him.

He had made that vow before.

Elliot's eyes began to water as his mind wondered back to the conversation they had on her couch just a few weeks earlier.

"_I'm scared, El." She hated herself for saying it, she hated that she had unraveled into this complete vulnerable, blubbering mess but there was no turning back now, she had opened herself up to him and shared her darkest most painful secret._

_ "I know, Liv", Elliot said as he straightened himself on the couch. "But I am going to be here for you." He took her hand in his and looked her in the eyes. "I mean it, Olivia, I am really going to be here for you."_

Elliot looked down at Olivia who was sleeping peacefully on his chest. A lump formed in his throat as the memories of his broken promise continued to pour out.

"_Olivia listen to me, this guy isn't getting anywhere near you. I am never going to let him hurt you. You have to trust me on that."_

The tears finally spilt from his eyes, cascading down his cheeks. "Oh god, Liv." Elliot held her sleeping form tighter in his arms. "I'm so sorry. I am so, so sorry."

If Olivia had been awake she would have slapped him, telling him that it wasn't his fault and to stop blaming himself.

But he did blame himself, because Harris did in fact get near her and despite Elliot's efforts to stop him, he did hurt her.

It was then that Elliot decided to make a new vow; one he would make sure he kept. He hadn't kept Harris away and he hadn't prevented him from hurting her, but one promise still remained, the one he would renew.

Through the hell she was living; the nightmares, physical recovery, emotional recovery, fighting to regain all that had been stolen from her, he would be there.

"I'm still here, Olivia", he whispered. "I am here for you."


	14. Chapter 14

**I tried uploading this chapter 5 times. Hopefully this link is good. So sorry for the inconvenience; Fanfic is having some issues.**

* * *

Olivia and Elliot pulled up to her apartment at a little after three in the afternoon. It had been a long day and Olivia wanted nothing more than to shower and crawl into bed. Elliot helped her out of the car and up the stairs to her apartment. The drugs they had given her at the hospital were wearing off making each step she took more difficult than the last.

Olivia rested her head against the door frame as Elliot fumbled with the keys to her door. She heard the lock click and smiled; it was good to be home. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, content in the familiar feeling of her building halls, but her eyes shot open at the sound Elliot was trying so hard to cover: his gasp.

"Elliot, what is it?" She asked.

The door was only slightly opened and her back was against the frame so she could not see into her apartment. Elliot however, was standing in front of her and facing the open door had a clear view of the calamity inside.

"El?" Olivia was more than panicked by the growing look of terror forming on his face. His silence was doing nothing to reassure her. What was he looking at? Was it Harris? Did he leave another victim for her? Was it Melinda? Oh God, was she ok? She was afraid to look; she didn't want to know. She couldn't think of anything else that monster could do to hurt or break her anymore than he already had.

Tears welled up in her eyes at the possibilities of what could be waiting for her inside, her mind conjuring up every sordid, nauseating detail of every case she had ever worked; replaying them in her apartment with her and Harris. Because Harris was there, she just knew it.

He was there.

Beads of sweat joined the unending stream of tears flowing down her face. Her body was jarring violently and her knees gave way, sending her plummeting down to the floor.

"Liv", gasped Elliot as he knelt down to her, "Olivia are you ok?"

Olivia couldn't breathe, panic dominating her function. _No, no I'm not ok! Harris is there! He's inside. he's going to get me again. He's going to hurt me again. He's going to. . . Oh God, no._

"Olivia breathe," he commanded gently. "You have to breathe. It's okay, your okay."

Olivia choked out a sob. How could she breathe when Harris was there? Any minute now he would come out and take her again, hold her down, violate and abuse her already broken body and devastated spirit. How could she be calm? How could he be calm?

"Har, Harris", she choked out.

"Its ok, Olivia.", he said in a calm, soothing voice, "I'm right here. You're safe, you're okay."

Olivia shook her head and let out another heart wrenching sob as her cries became more violent.

"Inside!" It was all she could manage. "He's inside!"

Elliot shook his head. "No, Liv", he began, "No he's not. Its just us. Harris isn't here." Elliot wasn't even sure if she had heard him, she seemed to be deafened by the terror in her mind.

"Its okay, Olivia", he repeated. "Harris isn't here. Its just us, that's it. You're safe." He felt like he was talking in circles but he knew victims needed constant reassurance and security. Olivia looked up at him; the expression on her face broke his heart, her eyes relaying all the terror, hurt, and ambiguity that Harris had instilled in her. "Its okay, Olivia", he said once again. "I'm here."

Olivia nodded her head, a few sobs escaping as she fought to control her crying. Elliot wrapped her in his arms. He could feel her shaky, uneven breaths as she continued to choke through her tears. "Olivia", he began softly, "baby, you need to breathe." He pulled her from him and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Breathe with me." He said before inhaling a deep breath, which Olivia tried to replicate. "Now let it go." He exhaled slowly as an example.

Olivia's breath was much shakier than his. She could not inhale as much oxygen and it came out in shudders.

"That's okay", said Elliot. "Lets try again. Ready?"

She nodded.

"Okay, Liv. Breathe."

The second time was better. They each took in a slow, deep breath. Elliot looked at her and nodded, giving signal to release. She exhaled slowly, the last of her tears leaving with it.

Elliot moved his hands down her arms till they met hers. He held her hands as she continued to regulate her breathing. Her palms were moist in his hands; he could feel all of the tension in her body, from her clammy hands to her tearstained face down to her toes.

"Oh, God", said Olivia, breaking the silence. "I thought . . . I thought, oh God."

Elliot nodded his head but remained silent. Olivia had yet to talk to him about her attack and he knew that in order for her to heal she would have to open up. If that meant breaking down in her hallway then so be it. He swore he would be there for her and he would be damned if he was going to break that promise.

"I'm sorry", she whispered, her cheeks red.

Now he had to speak. He couldn't let her go on thinking that she should be ashamed of her outburst, not when it meant she was hurting because of something that she had no control over. "Liv, don't be sorry. You didn't do-

"Anything wrong, yes Elliot I know." She said somberly, but showed no expression that she believed her words. She knew the speech, she had given it. There was nothing that Elliot or anyone else could tell her that she didn't already know or hasn't already said herself. She had worked sex crimes for over a decade, she had heard every story, given every speech and counseled every victim.

She knew, but knowing didn't help. Seeing herself go through what every victim before her had didn't help her. Knowing what was next, what to expect of her behavior, did nothing. What could it do? The fact that she was not the first did not give her hope; it only made her a statistic.

"Okay", said Elliot, "C'mon." Elliot stood up from the floor and held out his hand to her. Once she was standing, Elliot closed the door with them still on the outside. He wrapped his arm around her lower back to steady her as he guided her away from the door.

"Elliot, what are you doing?" She asked.

Elliot let out a sigh and continued to guide her towards the elevators. "You are going to stay at my place, okay." His words were clear but his tone was unreadable. Still, Olivia did not want to question it.

"Shouldn't I get some of my things?"

Elliot shook his head and pushed the elevator button. "We can stop at the store."

Olivia narrowed her eyes in confusion. The elevator doors opened and Elliot stepped inside, expecting Olivia to follow. When she didn't move he stepped out of the elevator and back to her. "The store", he repeated.

Olivia looked up at him, her eyes communicating her confusion and defiance. "Its okay, El", she began. "I can just run inside and grab a change of clothes and a-

"Olivia", he spoke softly, sternly; almost as if he was warning her. "Do not go inside."

* * *

**Review**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Lady Riss, who (I hope) will be very pleased with this chapter and ecstatic in about 2 or 3 more chapters.**

* * *

There was broken glass on the floor, holes in the walls, furniture was turned and broken.

Everything was broken.

And in her room, her clothes were scattered, her blouses had been torn, her pants all missing the crotch, and her panties, gone. Her picture had been cut out of every frame, her perfume had been sprayed, her bed had been used; oh God, her bed had been used. It was like someone had tried to create the very essence of Olivia for their own private use, in her home, her bedroom, her bed.

CSU swarmed her apartment, collecting every bit of evidence from the catastrophe that had occurred there. The place reeked of evil, of his presence, of him. With a grimace, Cragen entered her apartment, along with Munch, to see what the crime scene techs had found.

"What have we got?" Asked Cragen. One of the techs motioned towards the kitchen, where the lead tech was standing.

"Detectives", he began, "I'm not sure what to make of this. The place is trashed, this guy has a lot of rage, but it looks like he had time. I mean, to cut her out of every picture in the place, not to mention cutting the crotch out of every pair of pants she owns. He wasn't in a hurry." He motioned for the two to follow him into Olivia's bedroom. Once they were there, he continued. "It also looks like he had some fun in her bed. Its still made but you can see the imprint of his body. Look at the crinkled sheets."

"Perv did it on purpose", said Munch. "He wanted Liv to know that he was in her bed." The detective sighed. "It doesn't make sense, though. Harris knows that every cop in the state is looking for him. Why would he risk coming to Olivia's apartment?"

"Maybe it wasn't him", suggested Cragen. "Have we got any fingerprints?"

The tech nodded his head, "Tons", he began, "but I don't know whose."

Cragen glanced over at the bed. It was almost as if Harris was still there, mocking them. "John, go with Fin and re-interview everyone. I want alibis or a confession."

"Tell Detective Benson that we should have everything cleaned up and out of here bye eight tonight", said the tech in an attempt to ease the tension.

Cragen shook his head before turning back to him and Munch. "Olivia doesn't know about this yet. Elliot saw this mess before she did and took her back to his place before she had a chance to see this."

"Cap", began Munch, "She is going to come home sooner or later. She's going to know what happened. Its not like she wont notice the holes in the walls and everything that's missing."

Cragen looked around the apartment, noting the broken furniture that would soon be cleared out. The place would be empty and what was capable of being salvaged she wouldn't want. "I know, John", he said. "I know."

* * *

"How are you doing?" Elliot asked Olivia, who was sitting opposite him on the couch, resting her head.

"Tired", she replied. "The pain medication makes me drowsy."

Elliot caressed her hand, offering her some comfort. "Well maybe you should take a nap. I can wake you up when I get dinner ready."

Olivia closed her eyes and slowly shook her head. "That's okay, El", she whispered. "I'm not hungry."

"Yeah, but you might be later." He gently squeezed her hand before he continued. "You have to eat something, Liv."

Olivia nodded her head as tears welled up in her eyes. She wasn't trying to be difficult, actually she was trying to be the exact opposite, but the thought of doing anything was exhausting.

As hard as she was trying to heal, she couldn't shake this unending wave of depression that seemed to wrap around and squeeze the very life out of her. She wanted to sleep, she wanted to cry, she wanted to hide. She felt sick.

Life was going on around her and she couldn't stop it. She was living on a constant autopilot which she had no control over and all she wanted was for someone to tell her that she was, in fact, sick and that everything would make sense when she was better.

If she ever got better.

"What are you thinking about, Liv?" Asked Elliot, breaking the silence.

Olivia cleared her throat and straightened herself on the couch. "I'm thinking", she paused, trying to gather her thoughts, "I'm thinking about how much I want this to be over, back to normal. And I'm thinking about everything that has happened and how wonderful you are being through all of this." Her voice faltered a little at the end and Elliot could tell she was on the verge of crying again.

"You know I'm here for you, Olivia", he said while wrapping her in his arms. Olivia buried her face in his chest, trying to conceal the few tears that had escaped.

"I know", she cried softly, "You've been so great and I can't thank you enough."

"You don't have to thank me, Liv. I want to be here, I want you with me. I love you."

Olivia nodded against his chest as the full weight of his words hit her. "I love you too, Elliot."

Elliot smiled and ran his fingers through her hair. "Okay, then why don't you go take a nap and I'll get dinner started." He felt her shift slightly in his arms, as if she was going to get up to say something but decided not to half way through the action. "You need to eat something, Liv. At least try."

Not wanting to disappoint him, she lifted herself from his chest and nodded. "Okay, Elliot. I'll try."

Elliot gave a sad smile, trying to establish some normality. "What are you in the mood for", he asked. "I'm actually not that bad of a cook. I can make spaghetti, fried chicken, chili, you name it."

Elliot had never been very secure about his cooking but he didn't want to tell Olivia that the only dish he knew how to prepare came in a microwavable tray. He wanted to give her options, he wanted to give her control.

"Spaghetti is fine", she said and Elliot smiled in relief. Spaghetti he could do. The sauce already came in a bottle, all he had to do was heat it up and cook the noodles.

"Spaghetti it is."

Olivia smiled back at him and spoke softly. "I don't deserve you."

With her words the smile left his face. _How could she possibly think that she doesn't deserve me? Doesn't she know that she deserves to be happy? To be loved?_ Elliot opened his mouth to speak but choked on the lump in his throat.

Seeing her like this broke his heart. He hated that Harris had taken away her confidence. Just two days ago, Olivia was in his arms, glowing at the way Elliot had made her feel; special, beautiful, loved, adored, everything that she was. The woman before him did not glow. She was still special, still beautiful, still loved and adored, but she did not glow.

That, had been stolen from her.

Afraid that Olivia would take his silence as agreement, he found the strength to speak. "Why do you say that, Liv? Don't you know how great you are?" He shook his head at the floor. "Don't you know how much you mean to me?" Elliot had tears forming in his eyes. The man never cried but seeing Olivia so crushed was slowly killing him.

"I don't know why I said that" she said, in a soft, broken tone. And she didn't. She did however, notice that she was retracting her statement when any other day she would fight.

She was too tired to fight.

Olivia looked up and saw the tears in his eyes. She hated that her words had caused him pain. She loved him, and she was trying with everything she had to be the woman that he had fallen in love with. She wanted that back. She wanted to be that woman for him. It had all ended too soon. "I'm sorry."

Again her words struck him. _Sorry? What could she possibly be sorry for?_ Elliot tried his best to control his emotions; he knew that Olivia was only trying to make him feel better. Her words had upset him, but he didn't want her to know that, he didn't want to add guilt to the long list of emotions she was currently battling but he couldn't let her go on thinking this was her fault either.

"Please don't be sorry, Liv. Don't apologize for anything that you are feeling."

Olivia nodded, too tired to contest his words. After all, he was right. She knew he was, but she was struggling to overcome the feelings that she had told so many other women were normal. As misplaced as her blame was, she knew, for a victim, it was normal.

"Well right now I am feeling tired", she said, bringing them back to their previous conversation.

Elliot smiled and helped her up from the couch. He leaned his head into hers and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "I'll wake you up when dinner is ready."

Olivia nodded and gave him another quick kiss. She loved the man and she would be damned if she was going to let Harris take away the romance that they shared. She made her way up to Elliot's bedroom, eager to finally get the shower and rest that seemed to allude her.

Remembering that she did not bring any clothes with her and being too tired to stop at the store she decided that she would just barrow something from Elliot, if only just to sleep in. She opened the top drawer in his dresser and pulled out one of his shirts. She closed the drawer but winced when the action had caused something to fall from the top of the dresser.

Olivia bent down to pick up the object, smiling when she saw what it was: a picture.

Not just any picture; it was one of her favorites, of her and Elliot at the Precinct's Christmas party. She placed the picture back on top of the dresser, a smile still on her face.

She couldn't believe that he still had that picture. She knew that Kathy had asked him on numerous occasions to get rid of it. She thought he had.

Seeing that he kept it, despite his wife's wishes, gave her reassurance. She did mean something to him; she was loved. The picture proved it. Despite everything that had happened and what was to come, she knew that she could count on Elliot to be there for her.

Because he loved her.

* * *

**Location: 16 precinct**

"Don't play dumb Parker", yelled Fin. "We know damn good and well you know where Harris is!" Mathew Parker sat on the other side of the table in the interrogation room across from Munch and Fin, who had been questioning him for the last hour. Everyone in the room was agitated and on edge as they reviewed his story over and over again.

"I told you I don't know where he is!" Screamed Parker. "If you want to get him so bad then get off my ass and get out there and look for him because I don't know shit."

"Don't lie to us, Parker", said Munch while opening up a file and pulling out a few pictures. He slapped the photos on the table in front of Parker and leered in his face. "Remember them?"

Parker looked down at the pictures, recognizing all but one. "Yeah", he said as he pointed to the photos, "That's Amber Johnson, she was an inmate but she was released a couple of months ago."

"Well as you can see she's dead now", said Fin in a malicious tone. Parker simply glared at him, frustrated with Fin's attempts to make him talk.

"I told you I don't know nothing about that. I only saw the bitch when I worked her block. That's it." He spat. Parker looked down at the photos once more and pushed them away, disgusted by the scene before him.

"Oh, what's wrong, Parker," asked Munch as he shoved the pictures back his way. "Cant face your handy work?"

Parker's face turned a deep shade of red and his nostrils flared. "I told you I don't know what your talking about! I didn't do anything! I didn't kill this bitch", he stated as he pointed to Amber, "Or this one", he motioned to the warden, "and I don't even know this one." He said while holding Ashley's photo.

"You forgot one", stated Fin.

Parker looked down at the photos, spotting the one Fin had mentioned: Olivia. "What", he said while grabbing the picture of Olivia, "You think I raped this bitch?"

"That's funny", said Munch, "Who said anything about rape?"

* * *

**Location Unknown**

Lowell Harris had been on the run for weeks now. Ever since he had escaped from prison and killed Ashley Tyler, he hadn't stayed in the same place for more than a day. He impatiently stood against the side of a building awaiting the arrival of his friend and partner, flinching at every siren he heard.

Eventually a car pulled up and a man dressed in a blue dress shirt and dark slacks stepped out, holding a box. "Its about damn time", said Harris. "I was starting to think you weren't going to show." Harris smiled as he eyed the box in the man's hand. "Did you have fun?"

The man smiled and held out the box for Harris to look inside. "You bet I did."

Harris licked his lips at the contents inside. "Ready to have some more?"

With a truly sadistic smile, the man retreated inside of his car, Harris in the passenger seat. They pulled inside the garage of a nearby vacant building, ensuring that they would not be seen.

Harris placed the box on his lap and reached inside, finding just what he was looking for. He smiled when his fingers enclosed around the lace trimmed fabric, removing his hand from the box to reveal a pair of women's panties belonging to Olivia. He looked at his friend, who shared the same merciless smile.

"How good was she?" Asked the man.

Harris pulled out a picture of Olivia and ran his fingers over it. He moaned as he felt himself harden. "Oh, don't worry my friend", he began, "You'll find out soon enough."

* * *

"How's the spaghetti?" Asked Elliot.

Olivia looked up at him and gave a small smile. "Not bad, actually; its pretty good." Olivia poked at the garlic bread on her plate before sticking her fork back in the pasta. Truth be told she did not really want to finish what was on her plate. Its not that the food was bad, it wasn't, but Olivia's appetite had completely left her. Her sole motivation for eating was her fear of disappointing Elliot.

"I told you I could cook", he joked.

Olivia smiled at him as she continued to force down the rest of her meal. "Yes you did", she said. "Does this mean I'm making breakfast?"

A huge grin spread across his face at her words. "I Thought you couldn't cook."

"I said I didn't", replied Olivia, "I never said I couldn't." Olivia looked at Elliot and smiled. She figured a nice breakfast together would be the perfect way to start the day, since dinner together was the perfect way to end this one.

A knock at the door disturbed their reverie andOlivia looked at Elliot questioningly, with a slight fear present in her eyes. "Were you expecting someone?"

Elliot shook his head and got up to open the door. "No, but don't worry, Liv. Its probably just someone trying to sell me something." Elliot walked over to the door, looking through the peep hole before opening it.

Finding a boy no older than 13 on the other side, Elliot opened the door. "Can I help you?" He asked.

The boy nodded and held out a small package. "I'm supposed to give this to Olivia."

Elliot furrowed his eye brows and took the package. "Who gave this to you?"

The kid shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. He just said to give this to her and then he gave me ten bucks."

Elliot opened the box and looked inside. The sight before him made him want to gag, disgusted with what he had found.

"Is the man who gave you this still here?"

The kid shook his head and reached in his pocket pulling out the ten dollar bill. "No. He just gave me this and the package. Then he drove away."

Elliot nodded his head before looking back at Olivia, who was still sitting at the table.

"I'm going to need you to come down to the police station with me and answer some questions, okay."

The kid's eyes grew wide. "Am I in trouble?"

Elliot shook his head. "No", he began, "No your not but the man who gave this to you is very dangerous and I am going to need your help to find him. Do you think you can do that?"

The kid nodded and stepped back. "Let me just tell my mom. I only live a few doors down. I'll be right back." Elliot nodded before closing the door. He hoped that this would lead them somewhere, get them one step closer to finding Harris.

"Who was that?" Asked Olivia as she walked into the living room to where Elliot was standing. Elliot looked down at the box in his hand, wondering how Olivia would react to what was inside.

"Like I said", said Elliot, holding up the box, "someone trying to sell me something."

Olivia looked at the box in his hand. She could tell right away that he was lying, not only by the unprofessional look of the box but by the way he refused to look at her while he spoke.

"Elliot, what's in the box?"

Elliot shook his head and sighed. "Its nothing, Liv", he began, "You don't need to see this."

Olivia's blood ran cold. She had suspected that the box had something to do with Harris and now her suspicions were confirmed. Although Olivia hadn't seen the mess in her apartment, she knew that something bad had happened there and she knew that Elliot was only protecting her from it. But now that the threats were coming here, now that they had followed her, she felt that she should at least see what it was.

"Let me see, Elliot", she said softly.

Elliot placed the box in her hands but did not yet release it. "Olivia", he began, "Are you sure?" His tone was gentle, carrying a note of concern.

Olivia nodded her head and Elliot released his hold.

She took a deep breath, preparing herself, before proceeding to open the box. She closed her eyes and looked down. Releasing her breath, she opened her eyes.

* * *

**Location 16 precinct**

"For the ten thousandth time, I don't know where he is. I haven't spoken to Lowell since he was arrested. Its been years" grumbled Parker, in a strained, tired voice.

Munch and Fin looked at each other with the same worn out expression. They had been there for hours listening to Parker's alibi over and over again, his story not changing once. No matter what questions they asked or how many different ways they asked them, his story had remained the same. Unable to shake him, they did the only thing they could do; they let him go.

"Don't get too comfortable", said Fin as Parker left the room, "I have a feeling we will be seeing you soon."

Munch and Fin walked back to their adjoined desks and began reviewing files and previous statements in hopes of finding something that they had missed. This was a tough case but they both knew they couldn't give up. They had to try, for Olivia.

A few moments later, Cragen came storming out of his office and over to the two detectives. "Munch", he began, "Elliot is bringing over a kid for questioning. We think he saw Harris. I'm going to need you to interview him. Fin, I need you to talk to the techs who inspected Olivia's apartment. When you are done there I need you to talk to Warner. Elliot is bringing over a package for her and I want the results ASAP."

"A package?" Asked Fin.

Cragen looked down and frowned. "Yeah, Harris sent Olivia a message; a picture of her along with a pair of her panties", Cragen sighed before he continued, "they were covered in semen."

* * *

**Review**


	16. Chapter 16

"Is this the man that gave you the package?" Asked Munch, holding up a picture of Harris.

The boy barely looked at the picture at all. "No", he replied. "That's not him."

Munch sighed in his frustration. Holding the picture closer to the boy he asked again. "Are you sure its not him? Take a really good look."

The kid took the picture from his hands and stared at it once more. "I'm sure", he said. "That's not him. The guy I talked to was older and he didn't have a mustache."

Munch sighed and nodded his head. "Okay" he began, "Well I'm going to need you to sit down with a sketch artist and describe him and the car that he was driving. Do you think you can do that?"

The boy nodded and Munch motioned to a woman across the room carrying a pencil and notepad. He quickly got up from his seat and walked over to her, leaving a very frustrated Munch to go over his statement.

Fin entered the squad room a moment later, disappointment and irritation evident in his demeanor.

"Tell me something good", Munch, practically begged.

Fin pressed his lips into a straight line and shook his head. "Techs didn't find a single fingerprint. Only ones there were Olivia's and Elliot's." Fin scowled at the situation and sat on his desk. "Semen belonged to Harris, as if that's a shock. The only thing out of the ordinary is that Harris' fingerprints weren't the ones on the money. The box was covered in them but nothing was on the bill."

"Its hard to get prints off paper", stated Munch. "Are you sure she didn't miss it?"

Fin shrugged his shoulders. "I'll ask Warner to check again but she isn't in the best of moods. Having to work with an officer watching her every move is starting to get to her. Not to mention she's doing us one hell of a favor by handing this for us."

"The uni in her office is for her own safety, same as the protective detail outside her house. She knows that."

Fin nodded his head and looked towards the cribs where Elliot and Olivia had been since they first arrived. "Poor Liv", sighed Fin. "I hope she is doing alright."

* * *

Olivia hugged her knees as she sat on one of the cots in the cribs, Elliot whispering words of encouragement to her.

"Elliot", Olivia spoke in a soft tone. "What was inside my apartment?"

Elliot looked down, he knew she would ask. The second she saw what was inside the box he knew she would want to know what else Harris had defiled.

"He trashed the place." Elliot's voice was monotone. "Punched holes in the walls, messed with your clothes, cut your picture out of your photos, stuff like that. You don't need to hear all the details, Liv."

Olivia held her knees closer to her chest, trying to encage herself in a protective shell. "How did he have the time to do all that? Elliot, everyone is looking for him. There was a squad car parked right outside the building, they would have seen him."

"Cragen thinks it wasn't him", he whispered "It doesn't make sense that he did all of this on his own but Parker checks out. Can you think of anyone else he might be working with? Anyone at all?"

Olivia shook her head and closed her eyes as Harris' words reverberated in her head.

"_You want to hear how she begged," he asked. "She just kept pleading, not again, no, please don't. She was the only one that begged. The others didn't have a chance, but of course I had help with them."_

Olivia let out a sob. Elliot could tell that she was thinking back to her assault. She just shook her head, unable to verbalize her thoughts.

"Olivia", his voice was soft, caring, concerned, "What happened in the alley?"

It was like deja vu. Olivia was back at her desk staring at a picture of Harris, replaying her attack over in her mind. _"What happened in the basement?"_ Olivia swallowed hard. How could she let this happen to her, again? What was wrong with her?

"Don't torture yourself, Liv." said Elliot, almost as if he had read her thoughts. "You know there was nothing you could have done. That goes for everything, not just what happened in the alley."

Olivia looked up at him with glassy eyes. "Elliot, I can't." Her voice was barley a whisper.

Elliot moved closer to her on the cot and took her hands in his. "Olivia, keeping this all inside is not going to help you. Its only going to hurt you more. I told you that I will be here for you no matter what. I love you and I want to help you. Please, just talk to me."

Olivia blinked back the tears and nodded her head. Elliot was trying so hard to be strong for her; she knew he was hurting too. She knew he was only trying to help and she trusted Elliot. If she was going to talk to anyone at all about what had happened it was going to be him.

Olivia was just about the speak when there was a knock on the door, followed by Cragen's entrance a moment later. "Olivia", said Cragen, "I need to get your statement." Cragen noticed her teary eyes and the pained look on her face, unaware of what she and Elliot were just talking about. "I'm sorry, Olivia but we really can't wait any longer."

Elliot squeezed her hand and nudged his head towards the door. "C'mon Liv", he said. "Lets get this over with."

"Actually", Cragen began. "I will need to talk to you both separately."

Elliot arose from the cot, his face stern. "I'm not leaving her."

Cragen sighed, he sympathized with Elliot; he wished he could change things but he couldn't. "Elliot", Cragen began, "Olivia isn't the only witness here. If I let you sit in, the D.A. will say that you two fabricated the story. Your corroboration will only hold up if I interview you both separately. You know that."

"I don't care", said Elliot. "I'm not leaving her. I'm not going to let her go through this alone."

Olivia lightly grabbed onto Elliot's hand. While she appreciated his chauvinistic gesture and as much as she wanted him right beside her when she broke, she knew that it couldn't be. "Elliot." Her voice was a soft plea, asking him to please let it go; that Cragen was right.

Elliot helped her up from the cot, wrapping his arms around her waist when she was standing. He looked her in the eyes, silently communicating. Cragen was right and Elliot did know, but that didn't make leaving her any easier. "Can I watch?"

"Only if it is okay with Olivia." Cragen's words were firm as he turned to leave the room. Elliot turned back to Olivia, his arms still around her.

Olivia collected herself and met Elliot's stare once again. "This isn't exactly how I pictured talking about what happened."

"I know, Liv, but I'll be right outside waiting for you when you get out. You've taken statements before; you know what he is going to ask. You can do this." Elliot hugged her close to him in a reassuring embrace, wishing they could stay like that forever. "You can do this."

Olivia pulled herself out of Elliot's arms, immediately missing the contact. She nodded her head, acknowledging that she heard him and walked out of the cribs, and down to the interview room where Cragen was waiting.

She sat down on the opposite side of the table from Cragen. His expression was saddened and his eyes relayed his lack of sleep. They both sighed, knowing that the next 20 minutes were going to be pure hell for both of them.

For Olivia because she would have to relive the worst day of her life and for Cragen because he would have to listen to every satanic detail of what that monster had done to the woman he considered a daughter.

Cragen pressed record on the tape recorder in the middle of the table. The tiny machine seemed to mock her. All she could think about wass how many people would listen to that tape, how many people would know.

As if that wasn't enough, Cragen took out a pencil and pad, ready to write down every word she said, exactly how she said it.

"Olivia," he began, breaking the silence. "I need you to tell me what happened."

Olivia looked to the side as her eyes began to water. As much as she wanted to, she was unable to look Cragen in the eyes, shame and humiliation crashing over her. Memories from her attack came flooding back into her mind, the hellish ordeal engulfing her vision. Harris was all around her, everywhere she looked she saw his face, smug, proud, merciless.

"I was waiting for Warner." Her voice was broken as she struggled not to cry, "She said that she wanted to meet with me."

"Where?"

_Olivia stood alongside a building waiting for her friend, all the while wondering why she had chosen such a strange location. It wasn't that this was a bad neighborhood, it was just unusual that she would want to meet here instead of at the precinct or her office._

"At the Corner of 4th and Cotton. I should have known something wasn't right. Melinda would never choose such a random location. The place even felt weird, I should have recognized it. I should have known."

_Olivia dismissed it as nothing, this was certainly not the strangest thing she had encountered. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity from her. She knew this place, she just didn't know how. Her line of work involved a lot of canvassing and she had seen quite a bit of the city but something about this place was different, almost eerie._

"Olivia", said Cragen. "You couldn't have known. Don't blame yourself. You know this wasn't your fault."

Olivia bit her lip nervously; she was shaking and her mouth was dry. Still, she forced herself to press on.

"I smelled marijuana. I thought it was just some high school kids so I followed the smell. I was going to tell them how stupid smoking pot was; I was going to set them straight but, but I never saw them."

_She walked down the street, heading towards the thickening aroma, searching for smoke. She turned the corner of a fence and was greeted by another all too familiar smell: decay, death._

"I. . . I found Ashley's body instead. She was lying in the garden, just the way she had been the first time." Olivia closed her eyes, trying to bite back the sobs that seemed to rip right from her. She wasn't prepared for this. She didn't think she would have to relive the torment so soon.

"Before I even knew what had happened, he grabbed me. I tried to scream, but I couldn't. He had his hand wrapped around my throat and I, I just. . . I don't know, couldn't."

_She couldn't breathe. Before she could even scream massive hands had encaged her throat, stealing her breath, silencing her cries._

"I couldn't move. I tried to fight him off, but the way he held me, my arms were pinned."

_She moved to strike but with one hand still choking her the other moved to meet where her arms bent; pinning them down, leaving her defenseless._

Olivia was no longer trying to conceal her cries; she was trembling, sobbing, as she fought through her statement. "I don't know how it happened. I just opened my eyes and he was, oh god, he was on top of me."

_He was behind her. With every force in his body he slammed her against the side of the building. Her consciousness betraying her as darkness threatened to engulf her. He threw her to the ground and quickly climbed on top of her, straddling her._

"He hit me. Everything started to blur but I told myself to stay awake, that if I had any chance of escaping I would have to be conscious. He. . . he started to, he started taking off my clothes. God, I can still feel him."

_Harris wasted no time with his boxers, ripping them off in a violent eager manner. His hand roamed down her pants, his fingers dancing along his goal. He pulled at her waistband; the button ripped open and the zipper was split. He pulled her jeans off of her, taking with them her panties. Olivia struggled more than ever before as his hand made its way up her skin to her bra, which he tore off of her just them same._

"It wasn't enough that he was going to rape me. He wanted to make sure I knew he was in control."

"How?" Asked Cragen, hating that he had to put her through this.

Olivia let out a painful sob; even Cragen felt it. Olivia wiped the tears from her cheeks and collected herself once more before she continued.

"He touched me."

_His nails dug into the tender flesh of her inner thigh and she whimpered from the pain. In one swift movement he had her legs pried open and situated himself in between them. He bent down to the side of her face as his hand grasped between her legs, belaying his message with a physical demonstration of his control. "I have waited so long for this. I am going to take my time and enjoy it."_

"It didn't stop there. It was almost as if he was teasing me; taunting me by making me wait, knowing that he could devastate me at any moment."

_He jammed two fingers inside of her and twisted them, loving the sight of her trembling body. "You like that," he mocked. "how about this?" He said as another finger invaded._

Olivia couldn't breathe, panic had taken over her body. She wanted Elliot. She wanted him to bust in there and save her from the monster that plagued her mind. But he couldn't. He was trapped behind the two-way mirror, watching helplessly as the woman he loved suffered through her attack, once again.

"Breathe, Olivia." Whispered Elliot as he watched through the glass, knowing she couldn't, but hoping she would, hear him.

Olivia looked in the mirror, her eyes seemed to find his through the glass. "Breathe."

Olivia drew in a deep breath, remembering her incident in the hallway of her apartment building. Elliot watched her as he, too, took in the same breath she did. It was as if he was in the room with her, coaching her as he did before. Releasing their breaths in unison, Olivia turned back to Cragen and continued speaking.

"That's when he raped me."

_She opened her mouth to scream but managed only a small cry. Still, it was enough to entice him as he began lunging himself in and out of her._

"It hurt so bad. I wanted to escape, dissociate. I just closed my eyes and tried to picture somewhere I would rather be."

_Olivia tried to escape, willing her body to unconsciousness, but she couldn't bring herself to black out; the searing pain between her legs was too overwhelming. She could feel her blood pouring out from her as each thrust shredded her just a little bit more._

"He. . . he just kept talking. He admitted what he did, to Amber, The Warden, and to Ashley." Olivia's heart was pounding. She nervously wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans before she continued. "He said that Ashley was the only one who begged. The others didn't have a chance. He had help with them."

"Did he say who he was working with?" Asked Cragen.

Olivia shook her head. She thought back to that terrible night, trying to remember exactly what it was that Harris had told her.

"I had just regained consciousness; things were still hazy. He threatened Melinda. He wanted to know if she would beg; I . . . I begged." Olivia was crushed by her own words, hating that she had been reduced to begging. Her voice was ragged as she'd been crying the whole she and Cragen had been talking. "That's when he stabbed me. I don't know what happened after. I don't know how he got away. The last thing I remember was trying to tell Elliot about Melinda. In my mind I was screaming, but I guess I was only mumbling. The last thing I remember is being in his arms."

Cragen nodded his head and took down the last of Olivia's words. He pressed off on the tape recorder and Elliot busted in not a second later.

"You did great", he said, wrapping her in his arms, "Liv, you did great."

Olivia rested her head in the crook of his neck and her resolve began to crumble once again. "What if we never find him", she quietly cried. "What if he gets away with it?"

Elliot stared at the floor, trying to think of something to reassure her. They had very little to go on. Harris had no family, Parker was his only known friend but couldn't be his only. Harris had no money, no house, no car, he had to have help from someone; but who?

Elliot looked at Olivia, disappointment written all over her face at Elliot's lack of a response. "I'm sorry, Liv."

His words were bitter but what else could he say? He couldn't lie to her and tell her that wouldn't happen. She wasn't a civilian, she knew as well as he did that the case was cold and unless something big happened that Harris would, more than likely, get away with everything that he had done.

It was a thought that killed her. She could be strong and suffer through whatever she had to if she knew it would lead to a conviction.

She was about to speak but was interrupted by Fin barging through the door, a look of shock and urgency on his face.

"What is it?" She asked.

Fin walked towards her and smiled. "We got a hit on the prints."


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: I'm back. Family matters kept me away longer than I thought. Luckily, it gave me plenty of time to figure out what I want to do with my stories. I am going to finish up "Strength" and "Diminishing" as well as any one-shots I have on the table. Then, I am going to devote ALL my time to "Wildfire." Please be patient with me, as I've just gotten home and I am lady-balls deep in shit I have to take care of. Been gone too long. Anyway, I'm sure you are all dying to know who the prints belong to. Enjoy.**

* * *

Olivia's heart was caught in her throat. A hit; they got a hit on the prints. After everything that had happened, the mystery was about to be solved, because they had a match and he was in the system. They had a lead.

"Who?" She asked.

Fin held out a file which Olivia quickly opened. "Justin Sharp. You and Elliot collared him a few years back for statutory rape." Fin watched as recognition took over and Olivia remembered the case from what seemed like decades ago.. "He works at Mercy in the Cafeteria."

Olivia felt faint; if it weren't for Elliot standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist she would have fallen. "I thought only Harris' prints were on the box."

"Prints weren't on the box", said Fin, "they were on the ten he gave the kid."

Elliot looked at Fin, a mixture of relief and anger on his face. He was glad that they had found him, but furious at what he had done to Olivia, what he helped Harris do. "Bring him in." There was venom in his voice.

Fin nodded. "Cragen wanted to pick him up personally. He left the second I told him." Fin smiled at the image of Cragen finally getting his hands on him. He guessed that Justin would have quite a few _accidents_ on the way to the precinct. The bastard deserved it. "Hardwicke is getting us a warrant, Munch and I are about to go search his place. I just wanted to let you know before we left."

Olivia gently pulled herself out from Elliot's grasp and walked over to Fin, tears in her eyes. "Thank you." Her voice was barely a whisper, still in shock from the news. This was more than just a lead, it meant they had found Harris' accomplice, and quite possibly Harris.

Fin held her gaze. Although she wore a small smile, Fin could see the damage that had been done to her. Anger pulsed through him as he recalled what he had seen when he found her in the basement and what he knew had happened in the alley. "Anytime Liv", he said as he wrapped his arms around her, "anytime."

* * *

**Location - Mercy Hospital Cafeteria**

Cragen burst through the doors, shaking fists and jaw clenched, as he marched towards the man behind the counter. The man whose nametag read Justin. "Are you Justin Sharp?" Cragen asked. He recognized the kid right away but he knew if he did not ask then the D.A. could use it against him, claiming the arrest was invalid because Cragen failed to clarify who he was charging and with what. He would do this by the books; nothing was going to get in the way of getting his _daughter _justice.

"Yes, that's me."

Cragen smiled; that was all he needed. "Turn around and put your hands behind your back."

"What? What for?" Asked Justin as he complied, Cragen's stance striking him with fear. Cragen Slipped the cuffs on his wrists and began haling him out and towards the squad car.

"Justin Sharp", he began, "You are under arrest for the rapes and murders of-"

"What!", Justin exclaimed. "I didn't even do anything I swear."

Cregan smirked. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you at government expense. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?"

"Whatever", said Justin as Cragen sat him in the back of the car.

"I'm sorry son", said Cragen, sarcastically. "What was that?"

Justin shook his head at the floor and bit his lip. "Yes", he began. "I understand and I want a lawyer."

Cragen smiled again. "Wouldn't have it any other way." Cregan slammed the car door and watched as the noise caused Justin to flinch. "You are going to need a good one."

* * *

**Location - Justin Sharp's apartment**

Fin kicked in the door to Justin's apartment, hoping that Harris would be inside. He took the common areas while Munch searched the bed and bathrooms.

"Clear", called Munch coming from across the hall.

"Clear", said Fin, disappointed. "Alright man, lets tear this place apart. He's got to have something here that can lead us to Harris."

Munch nodded and began searching through papers on the desk in the living room, coming across a picture of Carrie, the fifteen year old girl Sharp was once sleeping with.

"Well look what I found here", said Munch while holding up the picture. "I think our boy likes to keep trophies."

Fin opened one of the drawers from the TV stand, a stack of blank tapes catching his eye. "Yeah", Fin agreed. "No kidding. Check these out." Fin held up the stack for Munch to see, his face baring the same curious expression.

"Put it on", said Munch. "Lets see what memories he made with those."

* * *

**Location - 16 Precinct**

"I'm telling you I didn't do anything. I haven't spoken to Detective Benson since that mess with Carrie. That was years ago, why would I get revenge now?" Justin's voice was filled with anxiety as he spoke.

Russell Hunter, his lawyer sat beside him as he was being questioned, all the while whispering words of council into his client's ear.

"Well then explain to me how your fingerprints got on the bill that was given to kid along with a package for Olivia." Cragen was stern and determined as he spoke. "A package containing a pair of her panties and her picture covered in semen."

Justin rolled his eyes, his expression holding more fear than sarcasm. "I told you I don't know anything about that!"

Mr. Hunter raised his hand to calm his client. "Captain Cragen", Hunter began. "Are you aware of how many times a day my client handles money? He works register; his print could have gotten on that bill when he handed it to the real perp in the hospital cafeteria." Hunter punctuated his words with a smirk as he stood to leave. "You don't have enough to hold him. I'm taking my client home."

Cragen lowered his head, disappointment and defeat present. His phone rang then, interrupting his dejection. "Cragen." He answered quickly after seeing the name of the caller. There was a short pause before Cragen raised his hand to halt the men from leaving the room.

"Yes. I understand", he continued. "Thank you. Good work John." Cragen looked at Justin, his face now lit with the same satisfied smirk his lawyer had just second earlier. "Mr. Hunter, I'm afraid the only place your client is going is lock up."

"What for?" Asked Hunter, "You have nothing."

Cragen took out his handcuffs and secured Justin before he spoke. "Had nothing, Mr. Hunter, we had nothing. You'll never guess what my detectives just found in Mr. Sharp's apartment."

* * *

**Again, so sorry for the wait. Please review and I'll try to have another chapter up soon.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey everyone, so I'm working really hard on these next few chapters. The first time I wrote this I didn't really capture Olivia's strength which was my goal of this story. (hence the name) I mean, she's been through a pretty traumatic event and that would shake anyone but I think I need to work harder to give her some more bite. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It sets the stage for what's to come. We will be seeing more of Olivia in the next one.**

* * *

Cragen pushed play on the TV in the interrogation room. A picture illuminated the dark screen and a figure stepped forth. The man on the screen was wearing hospital scrubs and a surgical mask, wheeling a body out from the hospital morgue. The body being that of Ashley Tyler.

"Remember that?" Asked Cragen.

"You cannot prove that's my client. The man in the video has his face covered, it could be anyone." Hunter smirked. His dark green eyes held a cold, unfeeling stare.

"They were found in his apartment", stated Cragen confidently. "How do you think they got there?"

"Someone set me up", said Justin in a soft tone. "That's not me; not that I expect you to believe me."

Cragen stopped the video and sat down across from Justin. He glowered at the man before him "Why should I? Your prints were on the bill given to the kid. This video, along with others, were found in your apartment." Cragen words were firm, as if verbally locking Justin's cell door.

"What others", asked Hunter. "What else did you find in his apartment?"

Cragen got up and left the room, only to return minutes later with a box containing three other tapes, all wrapped in zip lock plastic bags. "This", said Cragen as he held up one of the tapes, "is the security footage that was stolen from the parking garage the day Amber Johnson's body was left in Olivia's parking stall. The others are from the outside of Mercy Hospital. Would you like to watch? Would you like to see what else we have on you or can we stop playing games?" He leaned in, playing on the fear in Justin's eyes. "Tell us where Harris is and we will cut you a deal."

Russell Hunter turned to his client and whispered something in his ear; Justin's face growing red as each of the words left his lawyer's lips. "I told you I don't know anything", he yelled. "Someone is setting me up! Why would I hurt Detective Benson? She helped Carrie after she killed her mother. If it weren't for Detective Benson, Carrie would be in prison. What reason do I have to hurt her? What's my motive?"

"Well for starters", Cragen began, matching his angry tone. "She busted up your little game with Carrie. Do you get off on playing house with a fifteen year old girl? What, did you get tired of raping little girls, have to try it out on someone who would fight back?"

Justin's eyes fell to the floor. He reached up to cradle his head as he screamed in frustration. "Take me to jail", he whispered. "I'm innocent and sooner or later you are going to see that. I just hope you do before its too late for Detective Benson."

"Is that a threat?" Asked Cragen.

Justin looked Cragen in the eyes, ignoring the words of his council.

"I plead the fifth."

* * *

Elliot and Olivia had gotten back to his apartment at a little after one in the morning. Olivia had the same worn out expression as the night of her attack and Elliot could tell that she had been reliving it ever since she gave her statement. He helped her up the stairs to his bedroom. It had been a long day for everyone and he knew she needed rest.

"You look tired", he Elliot as Olivia sat down on the edge of the bed. Elliot offered a small smile as he reached down to help Olivia with her blouse. She winced in pain as the fabric slid over her shoulders, her body still aching from the attack.

Elliot was concerned for her. The doctor said that she would have to take it easy for the next few weeks; it had only been a few days and Olivia had done nothing of the sort.

"You really should be taking it easy, Liv."

Olivia gave a sad smile, appreciating his concern. "Haven't exactly had the opportunity to", she mused.

Elliot handed her one of his under shirts for her to change into. He was worried. To any bystander, Olivia would appear to be holding up remarkably well; still able to joke and make sarcastic comments, but Elliot wasn't a bystander; he could see exactly how hard she was struggling to keep her composer and couldn't help but wonder if her façade was for him. The last thing he wanted was her feeling she had to hide her pain from him.

"Well now you can", said Elliot as he pulled the covers back for her. She laid down, gently, her body aching in protest. No more than five minutes had passed since her head first hit the pillow and already she was out, sleeping peacefully.

Elliot sat on the edge of the bed next to her gently caressing her cheek as she slept. He watched her, love and concern in his eyes. He always loved to watch her while she slept, even before all of this. During the late nights in the precinct cribs, after working a tough case, Elliot would take solace in simply watching her until he himself could drift off into the blissful sleep she seemed to be in. He swore it was one of the few beautiful acts left in this world. Each night he would have to fight to keep himself on his own cot, desperately wanting to hold her while she slept.

He couldn't imagine life without her. Now that he had held her, kissed her, felt her body move with his, he couldn't imagine living and not being able to wake up next to this beautiful creature sleeping beside him.

He felt a little guilty, having not felt that way about his wife of over 20 years. He loved Kathy, he always would, she was the mother of his children but he never loved her like he loved Olivia.

He loved her but sitting next to Olivia, watching her sleep he couldn't swear that he had ever been in love with Kathy. But he was in love with Olivia and now that he had her, he would never let her go.

A knock at the door disturbed his thoughts. He briefly glanced over at Olivia to make sure the sound had not woken her. _Who could that be? _He wondered._ Its one in the morning._

Elliot quickly made his way downstairs, gun in hand. He approached the door, straining to listen for a voice outside, fearing it was another threat, or even Harris himself. He turned on the porch light and peeked through the peep hole, shocked at the figure before him. He place his gun on the stand beside the door. He waited a second, unsure of what would happen if he let this person inside. Curiosity getting the best of him, he unlocked and opened the door.

The figure before him was haggard and he could tell she had been crying. "Hello Elliot", she whispered.

"Kathy", he breathed. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright?"

Kathy sighed and looked up at Elliot, tears in her eyes.

"Elliot, we need to talk."

* * *

**review?**


	19. Chapter 19

"What's this about, Kathy", asked Elliot. "Are the kids alright? Are you alright?" Elliot motioned for Kathy to join him on the couch, his mind reeling with questions.

"The kids are fine", she began, "but I can't say the same about me." She looked deep in his eyes, her own reflecting the hurt and longing she felt. "I miss you, Elliot, I really do."

Elliot bit his lip and shook his head. He still hadn't told anyone about him and Olivia, although everyone around work seemed to already know, he and Kathy were not even legally divorced yet.

"Kath-"

"Please, Elliot, just let me finish. I'm not saying that I want you back. All I'm saying is I miss our friendship. We did actually love each other at one point and I still do, Elliot; I will always love you. I miss hearing your voice. Do you realize that we haven't talked at all during the separation? I just miss that. Our marriage didn't work, okay, but does that mean we have to hate each other?" Kathy's voice broke at the end as she struggled to keep her composer.

"I don't hate you", he said. "I could never hate you, Kathy. You're the mother of my children, if that's not an emotional investment then I don't know what is. I'm just not in love with you."

"That's fine", she said. "I'm not asking you to come home. I'm simply asking for a phone call, check in, maybe have coffee every now and then, be happy like we used to be."

Elliot took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I do want you to be happy, Kathy, and I'm sorry that I couldn't do that for you. I should have been a better husband to you, its just the job and I know, believe me, I know that's no excuse for not being there for you but I'm here now and I'm trying to learn from my mistakes."

Elliot looked down at their joined hands. He felt no spark. He wondered if there was even one to begin with. He felt a little guilty, knowing that he had moved on so quickly and that the mere thought of Olivia brought a smile to his face. "I really hope you find someone. I want you to be happy, Kathy, you really deserve it."

The tears in her eyes finally reached their peak as they began to spill down her face, releasing all the hurt from the past few years. Elliot pulled her to him, comforting her like he should have years ago. This was a time of redemption for him; he had not been a good husband to her but he could still be a good friend.

"No!" The scream was so defining, so pained, so filled with horror that both Kathy and Elliot froze. "Get off me! Please!"

Having it finally registered in Elliot's head that Olivia was screaming, he jumped off the couch and bolted upstairs, forgetting his gun in the living room.

He ran up the stairs and flung open the door to his room, unaware of what he would find inside.

There, in his bed, was Olivia, fighting off the tyrant that only she could see.

"No, please don't!" She cried. The sheet clung to her body from the cold sweat that drenched her and her breathing was shallow. Her voice was soft as she whimpered in her sleep. "Please."

Elliot rushed over to her, gently placing a hand on her forehead.

"Olivia wake up", he said. "Its just a dream, you're alright, you're safe, wake up."

At the sound of his voice Olivia jolted forward, her eyes snapping open and scanning the room as she struggled to regulate her breathing.

"Its okay, Olivia. No one is going to hurt you, your okay."

Olivia looked at him, finding security in his eyes. Her face turned red with embarrassment at her episode and she immediately fell into his arms. Elliot held her close as her sobbing slowed. He kissed the top of her head and whispered words of encouragement to her, Kathy completely forgotten.

"I see you have learned from your mistakes", said Kathy from the bedroom door, "Hello Olivia."

Olivia pulled herself away from Elliot to see who was speaking, her mind went blank as her eyes landed on the woman before her. "Kathy", she whispered.

"I'll leave you two alone", said Kathy, hurt evident in her breaking voice as she stormed out of the room.

"Kathy wait!" Called Elliot. He looked at Olivia, not wanting to leave her alone after what had just happened but knowing that he had to make things right with Kathy.

"Elliot, go", she whispered, "I'm fine. Elliot, go talk to her."

"You sure?"

She nodded. "It was just a dream. I'll be fine, go."

Elliot nodded swiftly before running to catch up with Kathy.

"Wait a second, Kathy, its not what you think", he said while running down the stairs.

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Elliot", cried Kathy, "I always knew there was something going on between you."

Elliot grabbed her arm gently and led her away from the door. "Kathy its not what you think."

"Then what is it, Elliot? Why is she in your bed at one in the morning; why is she wearing your shirt?" Kathy was crying, anger and betrayal in her voice as she gritted out her final words.

"Kathy just listen to me. Yes, Olivia and I are involved but I never cheated on you. We only got together after the separation. Kathy, I swear. I know I wasn't the best husband but I was never unfaithful." Elliot's voice was pained, after everything he and Kathy had been through he didn't want it to end on these terms. "Kathy, I swear."

Kathy sniffled and choked back a sob. Hearing the sincerity in his voice, she softened her actions. "What's going on Elliot? Why didn't you tell me? Don't you think I deserve to know? How long has this been going on?"

Elliot sighed and lead her back to the couch. "Kathy, Olivia have been together for just under a month. I don't know why I didn't tell you, I guess I thought you would think that I had cheated on you. I'm sorry. I'm happy with her, Kathy, didn't you just say that you wanted me to be happy?"

Kathy nodded and wiped away the last of her tears before speaking. "I do want you to be happy, Elliot. I'm sorry, its just that I always felt so threatened by her during our marriage and seeing you with her like that; I was just caught off guard. I didn't think that she would be here."

Elliot nodded, a bit surprised by her honesty. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way." He said, truly meaning his words. Knowing how she felt towards Olivia, this could not be easy on her.

"What's wrong with her", asked Kathy. "Elliot, why was she screaming like that?"

Elliot sighed, unsure of how to answer her question. "Kathy", he began, "I'm not sure that's my place to say."

"Elliot", Kathy began, "please don't be like that. Don't act like I'm so naïve. I know what you both deal with at work." Kathy paused, unsure if she wanted to know the answer to her next question. "Was she raped?" Kathy's words were firm but her voice wasn't the indifferent one he was expecting. There was sympathy there.

"Yeah, Kathy", he said, "she was. She almost died and her attacker is still out there. That's why she's here, I can't lose her, Kathy, I just can't."

Elliot's words meant more to her than he thought. Although she felt bad for Olivia, there was a side of her that envied the fact that he couldn't live without her, yet she was so easy to cast aside. "Do you love her?"

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Kathy, what does that have to do with anything? I tell you she was raped and you ask if I love her."

"Answer the question, Elliot." Her voice was firm. "Do you love her?" Elliot saw the determination in Kathy's eyes. He had known her long enough to know that there was no getting out of an argument when she was like this. They would scream, say hurtful things, then both walk away with frustrated tears. "Yeah, Kathy, I do", he said quietly, "I love her."

"Then go to her", she said.

Elliot looked up at her in confusion. Kathy's lips formed a small smile as she placed a hand on his knee. "I'm trying to learn from my mistakes too. Go to her, Elliot, she needs you."

Elliot returned her smile and gave her one last hug before walking her to the door. "So I'll see you for coffee", she asked.

Elliot nodded, glad to see that she was serious when she said she wanted him to be happy, that she wanted to be friends. "I'll call you", he said, "we will figure out a time." Kathy smiled before turning around to leave. Elliot closed the door behind her and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Elliot?" Called Olivia. "Elliot, I heard the door shut. What happened?"

Elliot walked up the stairs and back to his bedroom where Olivia was still sitting on the bed. "What happened", she asked, "Is everything okay?"

Elliot smiled and sat down next to her on the bed. He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips before speaking. "Yeah, Liv", he said, "everything is okay."

Olivia nodded her head. She wanted to know what had gone on downstairs but she was far too exhausted to have the conversation now so she accepted his answer.

Elliot helped her lay back in the bed and covered her. "Are you alright now, Liv", he asked.

Olivia patted the other side of the bed, asking him to join her; which he did. "I am now", she said as he wrapped his arms around her, "I am now."

* * *

Olivia opened her eyes, wincing at the sunlight that poured through the windows and illuminating the room. She rolled over and buried herself into Elliot's chest, her head resting on his bicep. She laid there, enjoying the feel of him, as she took in the calm of the morning. For once, her mind was not on the dark events of the past few days. She snuggled up closer to him, feeling comfort in being so close to him.

"Good morning", said Elliot with closed eyes.

"Good morning." Olivia smiled as she placed her hand on his chest, tracing small patterns in the defined muscles of his body. Elliot wrapped his arms around her, caressing her back in a protective fashion. "How did you sleep?"

"Not bad", she began, "How did you sleep?"

Elliot rolled onto his back, taking Olivia with him to rest on his chest. "I slept alright", he said. "Anymore nightmares?"

With his question, the calm of the morning was gone and once again her mind was filled with the horror of what she had faced, what she was still facing. She knew that was not his intention; she knew he was worried about her but a part of her wished he had just kept his questions to himself. She was tired of answering questions. It meant she had to think, had to remember, had to relive.

Elliot noticed her pause at his question and immediately regretted it. He bit his lip, trying to think of ways to retract his question, not wanting to start off another day with Harris in the shadows.

"So what are we having for breakfast?" He asked. Olivia pulled herself up from his chest and stared at him in confusion; wondering how the conversation had gone from nightmares to food. "Or did you think I forgot?"

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows. "Forgot what?" She asked.

Elliot smiled and brought her back to him. "You know", he began, "I made dinner, so you're making breakfast." He chuckled and kissed the top of her head, hoping this would restore the normalcy of the morning.

"That's right", she began, "what would you like me to make?"

Elliot brought his arms up to her shoulders and the smile left his face. There was something in her voice that disturbed him. She didn't sound upset, more unenthused than anything. He knew it wasn't about breakfast, hell Olivia would cook a ten course meal if he had asked her to. No, this was more of a lethargic, listless, almost depressive tone.

He didn't like it.

"Or would you like me to take you out?" He asked, hoping her reply would be more cheerful or at least content.

Olivia shook her head against his chest. "No", she said groggily. "I don't feel like going anywhere today."

Elliot was getting worried. This wasn't like Olivia.

"Yeah", he said, "You should be getting rest anyway. Maybe we can go out tomorrow."

Olivia sighed at his words, confirming his thoughts, his fears: Olivia was afraid to go outside.

Elliot thought back to all the other cases he had worked in the past. He knew this was normal, she was expected to be nervous but expecting something didn't always mean you are prepared for it. He hated that she had been victimized. He was use to her being bullet proof.

"Liv?"

"Don't Elliot", she said, knowing exactly what he was thinking. Knowing because she too, had thought the same thing and she had said the exact words that he was about to say countless times before. Elliot frowned, hating how helpless he felt. The woman he loved was hurting and he could do nothing to stop it.

Olivia knew how Elliot was feeling. She had become all too accustomed with helplessness. She didn't want to upset him; she hated that she had but what was she supposed to say?

At the end of the day Harris was still out there, still hunting for her and she wasn't about to set foot into his hunting ground; not yet.

"I'm just not ready, okay." She said, hating how weak she sounded.

Elliot didn't seem to mind. As concerned as he was, he understood and was not about to push her anymore. "Okay."

"You never answered my question." She stated with a small smile, trying to ease the mood. "What would you like me to make, what are you in the mood for?"

Elliot stood up and smiled. "Well I've never had your cooking. Why don't you surprise me?"

Olivia nodded. "Why don't you go get ready and I'll get started on breakfast. It should be done by the time you get out of the shower."

Elliot smiled and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips before retreating into the bathroom.

Olivia rested her head on the headboard above his bed. She let out a long sigh before bringing her knees up to her chest, reflecting back on the conversation they had just had. Olivia's phone rang, interrupting her trance and she quickly picked up before the annoying sound could ring again.

"Benson", she said into the phone.

"Benson?", the man on the other end chuckled. "Is that how you answer the phone to your lover, Kat?"

Olivia's face went pale and her eyes widened.

"What's wrong? Don't feel like talking?"

Olivia looked over at the bathroom door, wishing Elliot would come through the door and save her. "Wh- Where are you?" She asked timidly into the phone

"That's funny", he said. "I was wondering the same thing when I busted into your apartment. I must say, I love your taste in lingerie. I'm enjoying them."

Olivia's breath hitched in her throat. She covered her mouth, desperately trying to hide her now labored breathing. "Why are you doing this?" She asked, forcing herself to sound calm. "What do you want from me?"

"What every man wants", he laughed, picturing her expression, "and your going to give it to me."

Olivia screamed into her palm. She told herself to move, to get Elliot, to call Cragen and get a trace on the call but her body was frozen in fear. All she could do was stare at the bathroom door while she endured more of Harris' tortures.

"I'm glad your okay. I was worried that I wouldn't get a second chance with you", he paused, "well third. I told you that you were going to give it to me."

At his words flashes from the basement rushed her mind and she felt a searing hatred and anger burn through her, giving her strength she forgot she had. "I didn't give you anything!" She spat. "You took it. You raped me, you pathetic bastard!"

"Oh I'm pathetic?" Shouted Harris. "I wasn't the one begging on her back in the alley!"

Olivia closed her eyes as the new found memories filled her vision. She was terrified but her anger over shadowed her fear as she continued her battle with Harris.

"We have your partner." She said, trying to shake his confidence. "The one who really broke into my apartment. I know it wasn't you. We didn't find your prints."

"So I wore gloves. C'mon, you're a cop, you should know that prints don't mean anything."

Olivia swallowed hard. He was right but she wasn't about to let him shake her. "Why be so careful? You're going down for rape and murder. Burglary will hardly make a difference. You're going to prison for life."

"If you ever find me."

The shower water stopped and there was a brief pause before the door opened and Elliot stepped into the bedroom. He looked at Olivia; her trembling body was covered in a nervous sweat, her closed eyes did nothing against the flow of tears streaming down her face. "We will", she said firmly. "We will find you. We have Justin. We have your partner and he is going to tell us exactly where you are."

Elliot's eyes grew wide as he realized just who was on the other end of the phone. "Keep him talking, Liv. I'm going to call Cragen." Olivia nodded through her tears as Elliot pulled out his phone.

Harris laughed and Olivia's blood ran cold. She hated his laugh; his smug, merciless, and sadistic laugh. It haunted her. "I'm sure Justin is real helpful, he certainly was to me."

Olivia eyed Elliot who was whispering into his phone. Elliot waved his hand in a circular motion, signaling her to keep the conversation going until they could get a trace.

Olivia opened her mouth but no words came out. Her mind was in a fog; it was like Harris was in the room with her, watching her, mocking her, taunting her and she was helpless to stop him. Her mouth ran dry and Harris laughed at her silence.

That laugh.

Her heart was beating rapidly and the room began to spin; she couldn't stop it, she couldn't stop any of it. Her rapist was there, on the phone, taunting her, watching her, waiting for her. She closed her eyes.

And then she was on her back, her body colliding with the hard wood floor as her world went dark.

"Liv! Oh my God, Olivia!"


	20. Chapter 20

Elliot sat beside the hospital bed, cradling his head in his hands. The only noise in the room was coming from the steady beeping of the heart monitor signaling Olivia's life.

"Hello Elliot", said a familiar voice from the door.

Elliot looked up, his eyes red from lack of sleep. He was surprised to see his friend and, in some cases, co-worker, George Huang, standing by the door.

"Hey." It was all he could manage.

"How is she doing?" Asked Huang as he approached her bedside.

Elliot shrugged his shoulders. "The doctors said she didn't have a heart attack." He sighed. "She just collapsed. Her face was pale and her eyes looked funny and she just. . . collapsed."

"She probably just had an anxiety attack. She should be fine, Elliot", stated Huang. He sat down in the chair on the opposite side of the bed and took in Olivia's appearance. She was pale, except for her face and neck, discolored from the healing bruises. Her wrists still bore two large hand marks from where Harris had held her; they screamed an angry purple that seemed to embed itself into her skin.

Elliot took his attention off of Olivia and stared at Huang. "Do you really think she will be okay?"

Huang sighed, "I think she will make a full physical recovery." He watched Elliot intently. "But that's not what you are asking me, is it?"He noted the slightly furrowed eyebrows, the drawing of his bottom lip into his mouth and finally the shaking of his head.

"No", Elliot sighed, "no that's not what I'm asking you."

Huang nodded; he figured as much.

"Elliot, this is the first I've seen her since the attack. I can't tell you about her mental or emotional state. If you'd like and with her permission, I will talk to her, but anything she tells me stays in the strictest of confidence; you know that."

Elliot turned his attention back to Olivia, the love and concern in his eyes seemed to leap right out from him.

"How are you doing, Elliot?", asked Huang, "This can't be easy on you either."

Elliot looked at Huang, marveled by how transparent his platonic façade with Olivia really was. "You talked to Cragen?"

Huang smiled, "I didn't have to."

Elliot shook his head, a small smile creeping on his face. "Yeah, nobody had to tell him either."

Huang leaned in; Elliot was opening up to him and he wanted to make sure he got every detail, not as Dr. Huang, but as George, a friend.

"When I first saw her, in the alley, I. . . I thought she was dead. I thought I had lost her. It. . . It was the worst feeling, even worse than Gitano. Did she ever tell you about that?"

Huang nodded but otherwise kept quiet.

"I was in love with her then, too. I didn't tell her though. I yelled at her instead." He paused for a moment and took in the shame. "She almost dies and I go off on her, in front of everybody."

"Elliot", Huang began, "You can't beat yourself up over something that happened years ago. It was a stressful time for the both of you. Emotions ran high. That doesn't excuse your actions but I'm sure Olivia understands and I'm positive that she forgives you. Isn't it time you forgive yourself?"

Elliot shook his head. "You didn't see the hurt in her eyes." His voice was barley a whisper as the guilt and shame washed over him. "That image still gets me. This whole time I've been wondering, trying to understand how someone could hurt her. She's the most warm and loving person I know. I can't understand why anyone would want to hurt her and then I remember; I did."

Elliot's eyes were glossy but he did not release his tears. He had to be strong; Olivia needed him then and she needed him now. He would not let her down.

He would be strong.

A soft moan escaped Olivia's lips. It was barely audible, but they had heard it. Elliot gently grabbed onto Olivia's hand, caressing it with his thumb.

"Liv", he whispered.

With a nod, Huang got up and left the room, wanting to give Elliot and Olivia a moment together before he spoke with her. He figured she would need comfort, the kind only Elliot could provide: her partner, her lover. He would talk to her when she was ready.

"Olivia", whispered Elliot, "Liv?"

Olivia turned her head to the side, facing Elliot. Her eyes remained closed but fluttered lightly as if she was trying to open them. Elliot gently squeezed her hand. Her fingers wrapped around his, giving him a sign that she was there.

Her eyelids seemed to weigh a ton as she slowly opened them and adjusted to the light. "El."

"I'm here baby. I'm here."

Olivia let out a sigh. She was so tired; even after sleeping for hours, she was tired. "Elliot, what happened?"

"You fainted." Elliot swallowed hard. "You had another anxiety attack."

Olivia closed her eyes and nodded her head, her memory coming back to her.

"Did we get a trace on the line?"

Elliot shook his head, not that Olivia could see. "No, Liv", he began, "we didn't have him long enough to trace the call."

Olivia gritted her teeth in frustration, she hated herself for not keeping him longer, for having lost consciousness, for her fear getting the best of her.

Elliot knew the places her mind was going. The last thing he wanted was Olivia feeling like she had failed, blaming herself for not keeping him longer.

"We got the number, though", he said, "it was Melinda's. He still has her phone."

Olivia nodded, her eyes still closed, though a few renegade tears made their way down her face. "Do we have him on tape", she asked. "Stealing the phone, do we have him?"

"We don't know if its Harris", he began. "The man in the tapes is wearing a surgical mask. He looks like a doctor, no one questioned his presence." Elliot sighed before he continued, not sure of how much she could take in her current condition. "The man in the videos looks too small to be Harris, though. I think its Justin."

Something in his voice didn't sit well with her; the uncertainty, it was making her uneasy. "Elliot I don't think it was Justin."

Elliot looked at her in confusion. "What makes you say that?"

Olivia opened her eyes, meeting his stare. "When. . . When I was on the phone with, with Harris, he said something. I. . . I'm not sure why. I guess, I guess it was how he said it." She was quiet then and wondered back to her conversation before she lost consciousness. She may have been terrified but she was still a cop and she knew when a perp slipped and let out something valuable. "Test the tapes for Justin's prints."

Elliot shook his head, not denying her just expressing his confusion. "I don't understand, Liv. What did he say?"

Olivia licked her lips,connecting the pieces in her mind. "Prints don't mean anything."


	21. Chapter 21

**This chapter is dedicated to LoveToReadBooks. Honestly, I was just going to go to bed but after reading all of the nice reviews she left, I just had to update as a thank you.**

**Those kind words mean so much and they really inspire me to write. Thank you to all who read and review.**

* * *

Munch sat on the edge of his desk, once again, questioning the boy who had delivered Harris' threat to Olivia. He held up a picture of Justin. "Is this the man who gave you the package", he asked.

The kid shook his head. "No, its not. I told you he was older."

"How old?"

Munch was getting tired, every lead they got only led them to another wall. They had pictures but no prints, videos but no faces, DNA, but no Harris, the only solid thing they had was Justin and he just led them to, yet again, another stone wall. The boy turned pensive, trying to remember exactly what had happed that day. "I think he was about fifty, maybe a little older."

Munch took out pictures of Parker and Harris and raised them up for the boy to see. "And you are sure its not any of these men?" He asked again.

"I'm sure. Can I go now?"

Munch nodded his head and placed the pictures back into the envelope. Before he even had it back in his desk, the kid was gone, impatient to get back home and play.

"John", called Cragen from his office. "John, I need you to take the tapes to lab and get them tested for Justin's prints."

Munch raised an eyebrow at his captain. "What for? We found them in his house." He was growing tired of the false hope each piece of evidence supplied.

"Just do it." Cragen replied. He knew it was being rude, he knew how hard everyone had been working to solve this case but he, too, had grown tired and wasn't in the mood to contest his own orders.

Munch got up from his chair and headed towards the room where they kept the evidence for Olivia's case. He sighed as he looked down at the scene before him: pictures, bloodied remains of clothing, reports from the rape kit, Olivia's rape kit. He glanced down at the report, flipping through the pages, coming across words like bruising, fluids, and tearing. It made him want to be sick. He closed the file, his now glossy eyes searching for the tapes.

He held on to the plastic bags containing the videos that he hoped would bring them something.

Anything.

* * *

**Location - Mercy Hospital**

"Hello Olivia." Huang's voice was tender as he slowly stepped into Olivia's hospital room.

Olivia flashed a small smile his way. "George."

Her voice was as soft as his. She motioned for him to sit down in one of the chairs next her bed. As exhausted as she was, she was glad to see a friendly and familiar face.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. _Lousy, tired, all together like shit. _"Fine."

Huang smiled; he knew Olivia, more importantly, he knew Olivia's façade. He was glad to see that she was still striving for normalcy, that her fight had not completely left her. "I'm sorry that I didn't come in sooner. I only found out when I was called in to analyze Parker."

"And", she began, "what did you find?"

Huang looked in her eyes. He could see all the fear, the hope, and the expected disappointment at his reply.

"I believe he is telling the truth. I don't think he is involved."

Olivia's eyes fell on her lap. She nervously chewed on her bottom lip; she knew what his answer would be before he had even said it.

Huang paid close attention to her body language, analyzing each movement she made.

Olivia could feel his eyes on her. Her mind told her that he was glaring at the injuries that seemed to mock her as they danced along her skin. She fumbled with her arms, anxiously trying to cover herself from the seemingly relentless, judgmental eyes that prodded at her.

"Olivia, I'm not judging you", said Huang when he noticed her sudden change in demeanor.

Olivia nodded her head, the only reaction she could think of. She had forgotten Huang's ability to read people. She knew how she was coming off but she couldn't help herself. Once again she was on autopilot, spiraling out of control as the world went on around her. She was afraid to move, knowing that every action was documented in his mind.

"You look uncomfortable." Huang commented with concern.

Olivia didn't even hear the worry in his voice. As far as she was concerned he was trying to get in her head and she didn't want that; she didn't want to talk to him, she suddenly didn't want to talk to anybody.

"I am." She choked out, knowing she was being rude but once again unable to stop herself. "Why are you here, George? What do you want?"

Huang nodded his head, her reaction confirming his suspicion. "Olivia, I just wanted to see how you were doing. If I am making you uncomfortable, I can leave."

Olivia felt herself blush, she didn't mean to snap; she didn't mean to so ill-mannered towards her friend, her concerned friend. She suddenly felt guilty, so guilty. She almost choked on the anguish as her throat began to tighten. She forced back her sobs and shook her head. "No, George, its okay." Olivia looked down, unable to look her friend in the eye. "I'm sorry." Her voice was barely audible.

"Olivia", he began, "you don't have to be sorry and you don't have to talk to me or feel bad about wanting to be alone. You've been through an extremely traumatic event and I understand that you want time to yourself. What worries me is you shutting out those feelings."

Olivia swallowed hard, remembering his words from so long ago. _"That's how you handle something traumatic." _Olivia's palms were moist as his words reverberated in her mind. _"By acknowledging that it affects you."_

She stared up at him, his warm smile easing her flooding emotions.

"You control your own life, Olivia, remember that."

She only nodded, unable to find words.

"You know that talking about your attack is part of the healing process but you also know whether or not you are ready to confront those emotions. Now, you know that I am here anytime you want to talk, no matter what its about and anything you say will be kept in confidence."

Olivia opened her mouth to speak. She wanted so badly to move on, to heal and she knew she would have to talk eventually but talking, actually verbalizing the words proved to be more difficult than she could have ever imagined.

In all her years with SVU she had dealt with countless victims, listening to them, taking their statements. She had no idea how painful it was to share those stories, nightmares.

_Get it together, Olivia._ She mentally scolded herself. What's_ wrong with you? Just talk to him. You've done this before._

And there it was; the final straw crumbling her resolve.

She had done this before.

"I don't know how I let this happen", she whispered. "Again. How could I let this happen to me again?"

Huang stared at Olivia in confusion, contemplating on whether or not he should interrupt her. "What do you mean again?" He asked in a gentle tone.

Olivia bit back her sobs, trying to keep what little composer she could. "He attacked me before", she whispered. "That's how I met him. I was working undercover and he attacked me." Her eyes briefly met his and she wondered how much of the story she could bare to tell. "The first victim, Ashley, he raped her and he was raping her mom. I went undercover in the prison to try and catch him."

Haung nodded. "That was very brave of you."

Olivia licked her lips and drew in a deep breath, ignoring his words completely. "I followed him down there, to the prison basement. I knew something was wrong. I knew it, and I still went down there."

Olivia bit her lip as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to drown out the pain that plagued her; the pain brought on by the memories she tried so desperately to ignore. "I knew something was wrong then and I knew something was wrong this time too."

"You can't blame yourself, Olivia. Rape victims often find fault in themselves but you know how misplaced that is. What happened to you was not your fault. It wasn't then and it isn't now."

Olivia fumbled nervously with her fingers; she has heard this speech before, oh God, she had heard this speech before. "I don't want to talk about this anymore", she whispered.

Huang nodded his head. "Okay", he said quietly, not wanting to push her.

Olivia felt her face turning red, she brought her hands up to shield herself as she concentrated on taking slow, even breathes. "Where's Elliot?" She asked, trying to alleviate the attention on her.

"He went back to his apartment to shower and change, he's been here ever since they brought you in. I don't think he left your side for a second."

Olivia smiled. "He's so great." The blush was back on Olivia's face but she did not bother to cover it this time as her mind wondered off to more pleasant times, ones with Elliot.

Haung smiled. "I always knew you two would end up together." Olivia stared at him, feigning confusion and Huang had to struggle not to laugh at her act. "Elliot told me."

She just rolled her eyes. "I'm trying so hard", she began, "I'm trying so hard to get better for him."

Huang furrowed his eyebrows at her statement. "Don't you think you should be getting better for yourself?" His tone was gentle, but Olivia knew his question was not rhetorical; she would have to answer.

"I trying", she began, "I mean, I want to. Our relationship is so new. It just feels like the novelty has worn off too soon. It shouldn't be like this, he should be happy. I want him to be happy."

"What makes you think he's not?"

Olivia released a shaky breathe. "I don't know if I can keep him happy. I don't know what I'm going to do." Olivia brought her knees up to her chest, despite the pain her current position caused. Her body ached in protest as she buried her head in the burrow she had created. "He deserves more than this, better. I can't do it George, I just can't."

Haung leaned in. "Can't do what, Olivia?" When she didn't reply, he spoke again. "You know how much he loves you and I know you love him. This will pass. Let it be what makes you stronger, not what tears you apart."

Olivia shook her head, her tears flowing freely. "But I can't do_ this_. I can't do this to him." Olivia ran her fingers through her hair, pressing her lips together to conceal her crying. "George", she began. "Everything I say stays confidential, right?"

Huang nodded. "Of course, Olivia, whatever you say will never be repeated, not even to Elliot.

Olivia lifted her head, not bothering to wipe the tears from her face. "I don't know what's going to happen, I don't know how he will react." Olivia shook her head, a few more sobs escaping her lips. "I lied to him." Her voice was filled with shame and anguish. "I lied."

* * *

**Review!**


	22. Chapter 22

"Unbelievable, and you're sure", Cragen asked into his phone. "Thank you."

With that he hung up the phone and headed out into the squad room with a grimace and called for Munch and Fin.

"Cap' what's going on?" Asked Fin. He looked over at Munch who shared his confusion.

Cragen's face was drawn and tired but his eyes held a note of urgency. "I need you to go question Justin Sharp."

Much narrowed his eyes. "What for? Don't we have enough on him?"

"No", Cragen sighed. "No, we don't. His prints aren't on the tapes." He paused for a moment, not sure of what to make of his next words. "In fact, there were no prints at all."

* * *

**Location - Elliot's Apartment**

"You really hate hospitals don't you?" Elliot teased as he and Olivia walked through the door. "I really think you should have stayed."

Olivia kept her eyes on the floor, her conversation with Huang still fresh in her mind.

"I couldn't stay there", she whispered. "Not with Harris and his accomplice running around."

Elliot bit his lip and nodded. Although there was an armed officer right outside of her room at all times, he understood why she felt uneasy about being there. After all, it wasn't as if they hadn't gotten into the building unseen before. Still, they didn't know for sure that it wasn't Justin and it wasn't as if Mercy was the only hospital in all of New York.

Olivia's groan of discomfort broke him from his thoughts and his eyes went immediately to her. He began to worry that she was pushing herself too far. Elliot watched as she slowly made her way to the couch, wincing with each step she took. It took every fiber in his being not to rush to her. He knew that she needed to feel strong and despite the ache in his heart from watching her struggle, he was determined to give her whatever she needed.

Even if that meant being stubborn as all hell and over-doing it.

"Do you want an aspirin?" He asked, hoping she would just say yes and put them both out of their misery.

Olivia shook her head, her eyes still on the floor.

Elliot sat down next her in silence, wondering why she was being so distant. Despite her need to feel in control, the past few days Olivia had wanted nothing more than to be in his arms where she felt safe, where she felt protected.

But now, in the past few hours, Olivia hadn't bothered to touch him or talk or even look at him.

"Did you talk to Huang?" He asked, hoping that was the reason for her detachment.

Olivia just nodded, fearing suddenly that her confidentiality was nullified. Her silence was starting to get to him and he was beyond concerned.

"I talked to him", he said, trying to generate conversation. "He gave me some really good advice actually."

For the first time in hours, Olivia looked at him. She stared into his eyes, his glossy, blue eyes. "What did he say?" She asked.

Elliot sighed in relief at her words. At least she was talking. "He said that I need to forgive myself."

Olivia slightly furrowed her brow. "Forgive yourself for what, Elliot?"

"Liv", he began, "Do you remember the Gitano case? The fight we had in the hall?" Olivia nodded but was otherwise quiet. "Liv, I said some things to you; things I didn't mean. I was just angry. I mean, that little boy died. He was right there, I almost had him but-"

"Elliot that wasn't your fault. Gitano did that, not you." Olivia's heart was breaking for him. Cases involving kids got to everyone, Elliot especially.

"I know that Liv, but what I said to you; that was my fault. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I honestly never meant to hurt you." Elliot's voice faltered at the end. He was almost in tears and Olivia struggled not to do the same.

She wondered briefly if he hurt this bad when she was in pain.

Maybe she should have taken that aspirin.

"I can't believe you're still beating yourself up over that", she whispered. "Elliot, I forgave you a long time ago. I know you were upset; we all were. Its okay. I forgive you."

Olivia sat herself closer to Elliot, clinging to his arms, resting her head on his shoulder. "Why are you bringing all of this up now, Elliot? What's got you thinking about that day?"

Elliot wrapped the arm she wasn't holding around her, glad she was no longer being so distant. "I don't know. I was thinking about you, what you've been through, how anyone could ever want to hurt you and I'm just so sorry that I did. I don't know why I said the things I said."

"Huang is right", she began, "you do need to forgive yourself."

Olivia thought back to her own conversation with Huang that day, what she had confessed to him, what he had told her. "Who knows why people do the things they do."

Elliot nodded at her words and kissed the top of her head. He was glad she was talking to him again. Talking and looking at him, resting in his arms, shaking? Trembling? Crying? "Liv, what's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry, Elliot." she cried softly. "I'm so sorry."

"Olivia, what is it?" He brought her up to him, gently rubbing his hands down her arms. "You can tell me, Olivia, what's wrong?"

"_There's something I am not telling him. I don't know why I did it, I was just so scared and I was confused." Olivia cried into her palms as she spoke._

_Huang sat there, patiently waiting for her to collect herself enough to continue._

"_When they brought me in", she began, "after he. . . After her raped me. They asked if I wanted the pill and I just couldn't. I couldn't do it," She cried. "Not if it meant that my mother made a mistake, that I am a mistake. What am I going to do, George? I can't have his child. When I heard his voice on the phone today, that laugh, everything just came back so hard and I couldn't take it. I couldn't take his laugh. How am I supposed to raise a child, his child, with his hair, his eyes, his laugh?"_

"_Olivia", Huang began, "Why do you think you chose to keep this from Elliot?"_

_She just glared at him. _"_How is he supposed to be happy if I'm raising my rapist's child? I can't ask him to do that." She was almost baffled at his question. "I can't ask him to stay through that. I've put him through enough already. What am I going to do, George? What is he going to say?"_

"Your pregnant?" Asked Elliot.

"I don't know", she sighed. "Elliot, its too soon to tell but I could be and it could be his." Olivia wiped the tears from her cheeks, her hands shielding her face as her emotions poured out, guilt, shame, anguish.

Elliot was in shock, his mouth ran dry, unsure of what to say. Then he looked at Olivia, he really looked at her and he saw all of her suffering, all of her concerns, all of her pain and he did the only thing he could do: he was there for her. He held her, ran his hands down her back and pulled her in closer to him.

"Its okay, Liv" he whispered, "Whatever happens, its okay. I'm here."

* * *

Olivia was sitting on the bathroom counter in Elliot's apartment patiently waiting for the results of the home pregnancy test she had just taken. It had been two weeks since she told Elliot about her decision to not take emergency contraception. As each of the days went by, Olivia got more an more anxious about the possibility. The fact that she was late was not helping matters.

Each day felt like a week and sitting there on the counter waiting the agonizing three minutes only made her wish she could get some of that time back. She was terrified.

What if she was pregnant? What if her rapist's child was growing inside her?

She thought about her mother, finally understanding what it was she went through and if she could go through the same thing. She had always wanted a child, but not like this. No, not like this at all.

Truth be told she was contemplating having a child with Elliot. She wanted to talk to him about it but every time she tried she would lose the nerve, fearing his answer. It was too soon, wasn't it? And the man did have five children already; whose to say he wanted another one? Its not like he was getting any younger but then again, neither was she and she wanted a baby.

Just not like this.

Olivia thought about the sadness she felt each time she swallowed one of her birth control pills and, despite that sadness, about how much she wished she had taken one on the day of her attack. Usually she would take one every morning with breakfast. She couldn't remember why she hadn't taken one that day. She must have forgotten. Something must have distracted her. Something must have distracted . . .

"_Morning beautiful." Said Elliot with his eyes still closed but a grin on his lips._

_ "Good morning." Olivia replied, placing another kiss on his lips. In less than a second Elliot had brought her to him and rolled them over, Olivia on top._

Olivia brought her fingers to her lips, remembering his kiss as the memories of that morning rushed back.

_Elliot's hand trailed down her stomach. Upon reaching its destination he slipped a finger between her folds. "Shower can wait", she said as she bucked her hips, allowing him to feel her want, her need. He laid her down on the bed, holding her close to him. He kissed her as he moved to enter._

"Elliot", she whispered to herself. She had sex with Elliot. She had sex with Elliot that morning.

That's why she was running late. That's why she skipped breakfast and therefore her pill.

She had sex with Elliot and hours later she was raped.

Olivia placed her hand on her stomach. _"It could be his." _She thought to herself. She smiled at the possibility. She knew Elliot was a great father; she had seen him with his own kids. She thought about what life would be like with a child, with Elliot's child. She pictured him holding their baby for the first time and the smile on his face, the smile on hers.

She saw a little blue eyed boy with her hair and nose and Elliot's strong jaw. She saw Christmas and Thanksgiving; everyone around the table, smiling, just happy to be in each others company. She saw what she never really had: a family.

The timer on her phone went off and the sound brought her out of her daze.

It was time.

She clicked it off before picking up the pregnancy test.

Olivia closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, now unsure of which way she wanted things to go. It could be negative, she could have gotten lucky or unlucky, depending on the father. It could be Harris', it could be the child of the man she hated the most. Or it could be Elliot's. It could be the love of her life's child. She released the breath and opened her eyes, only to have them fill with tears.

* * *

**Location Rikers Island Jail**

"What are you doing here?" Asked Justin. He looked at Fin, who was sitting across from him in the interview room of the jail.

"I wanna talk", he said. "I wanna know how you know Harris and what you did to piss him off."

"Oh. So what you think I'm innocent now?" Justin's words were harsh but Fin seemed unfazed, only nodding his head in response.

"What changed your mind?" Asked Justin, his manner calming.

Fin glared at him before speaking. "Just something Detective Benson said in the hospital."

Justin's eyes grew wide which did not go unnoticed. "Is she okay", he asked softly. "What happened to her?"

"She's fine", began Fin, wondering if Justin's concern was an act or genuine. "But she would be a lot better if you would cooperate with us and answer my questions."

"I told you, I don't know anything. I never met Harris. I don't know why he would set me up." Justin looked at Fin, his eyes filling with tears as he stared at the detective. "Look, you know I'm innocent, you have got to get me out of here. You don't know what its like."

Fin just nodded his head, feeling slightly guilty about Justin's position. "Kid, I don't think you did it but I also don't think you are telling the truth and until you do I can't help you."

Justin sat back in his chair, his face red with anger. "I told you. How many times can I say it? I don't know anything!" He kicked one of the chairs and screamed at the ground. "God damn it! Why wont anyone believe me?"

At his outburst, the guard came rushing to his side and immediately got him back in cuffs.

"C'mon", said the guard as he began hauling Justin away. "I think that's enough chit chat for one day."

Fin stared at Justin as the guard escorted him out. Justin had tears in his eyes and desperation etched on his face. "Please", he mouthed to Fin. "Please."

* * *

**Location - Elliot's Apartment**

"Liv?" Elliot knocked lightly on the bathroom door.

Olivia had been in there for almost an hour. He waited patiently on the other side of the door, the light sound of her crying filling the room.

"Olivia, can I come in?" He heard a shuffle inside of the bathroom before the click of the lock opening the door. He slowly approached her, his stomach turning with anxiety.

She sat back on the counter, the test in hand. Elliot stared down at it but could not read the tiny symbol from where he was standing. He looked at Olivia, saw her tearstained cheeks. He didn't know what to say; for he, too, had considered the possibility of the child being his.

If there was a child.

Once again his eyes fell on the test, the little piece of plastic holding his future, their future.

He loved Olivia; he would love to have a baby with her, to have _his_ child growing inside her, but he didn't know, there was no way to tell.

It could be his or it could be. . . No. No, he didn't want to think about it. As far as he was concerned that child was his. He loved her and that was his baby.

If there was a baby.

"Liv", he spoke softly. "What did it say?"

* * *

**Review**


	23. Chapter 23

"Olivia, what did it say?"

Elliot was beyond concerned as he stood in the bathroom facing the devastated woman before him. She had one hand on her mouth, muffling her cries and the other in her lap, clutching onto the life altering plastic. Elliot took her hand in his and gently opening her palm, removing the test. With a heavy heart, he stared down at it.

Negative.

"You're not pregnant," he breathed, unsure if he was relieved or not.

"No", she said quietly, "No, I'm not." Olivia hung her head as she willed her tears to subside.

"Babe, this is a good thing", he began. "Now, we know." Elliot sat on the counter next to Olivia and draped an arm around her. Olivia sighed and immediately pulled away from his touch before getting off of the counter.

"Liv?" He asked at her sudden mood change. "What's wrong? I thought you would be happy?"

Truth be told Elliot was just as devastated as she was. Although he wanted a child with her, he never considered the idea that Olivia wanted the same. As far as he was concerned the streaks on her face mirrored her disappointment from not having conceived from her rape. He was confused. "Olivia, talk to me. Tell what's wrong."

Olivia sniffled and turned towards him. "I thought it was yours", she whispered, "Elliot, I know that we haven't been together long and I know this is the absolute worst time to talk about this but when I thought about the conception date, I just", she sighed before continuing. "I wanted a baby so bad. I wanted a family."

Elliot wrapped her in his arms. This time, she did not pull away. "I know, Liv, I know. I wanted a baby too." This time it was Elliot's voice to break, "I had already decided that the kid was mine."

Olivia looked up at him, shocked and confused by his words. "I- I had no idea."

* * *

**Location - Court House**

"Your honor we request that the defendant be released on his own recognizance", said Hunter. "The people's case against him is weak. Their sole evidence is a video tape without his prints."

"Your honor", Hardwicke began, "The defendant is a flight risk, he has no family, no significant ties to the community, not to mention that these tapes were recovered in his apartment and the defendant was acknowledged by Detective Benson's attacker as being a 'big help' with his attack on Detective Benson ."

"I'm sorry Ms. Hardwicke are you arguing your case already?" Mocked Hunter.

Gillian shot him daggers with her eyes from across the court room. She hated the man; he was cocky, smug, egotistical, and pedantic. It didn't help that he had already defended Harris once and was now back to defend his accomplice.

Judge Moredock sighed, as much as he wanted to keep Justin in custody for having helped hurt Olivia, he knew that there was not enough evidence to keep him "The defendant will be released ROR but you listen to me, Mr. Sharp. You are forbidden to leave the state. If you step out of line even once I will have you back here and you will not see the outside of your cell until trial. Do you understand me?" Justin nodded but did not speak. "Well then, is that everything, Ms. Hardwicke?"

"No your honor. The people request an order of protection. Mr. Sharp has a history with Detective Benson and has helped her attacker send her threatening messages, not to mention he broke into her apartment."

"That's a lie!" Barked Justin. He stood up from his chair, red in the face and ready to protest. Mr. Hunter signaled to his client to calm himself.

"You have no proof it was my client", stated Hunter. "Your witness failed to identify him."

The gavel sounded and both councilors jumped at the surprise of the noise. "Order in my court!" Shouted Judge Moredock, "This isn't trial, councilors, save it till then or you will both be held in contempt." Judge Moredock looked at Hardwicke. He nodded his head before speaking, "You have your order of protection councilor. Mr. Sharp you are forbidden from having any contact with Detective Benson. You are not to come within fifty yards of her. Do I make myself clear?"

* * *

**Location - Elliot's apartment**

Elliot and Olivia were sitting on the couch in his living room watching TV. It had been hours since their talk in the bathroom. Olivia was glad to hear of Elliot's decision to have a child, if there had been a child, but this was all moving so fast. When she thought she was expecting, she wanted nothing more than to hear Elliot say he was on board.

But now that there was no baby and there was only the want; the truth be told she wasn't sure she wanted. Olivia loved kids, she wanted to be a mother but at this point in her life she wasn't sure she could handle it.

To be honest, she wasn't even sure she could handle being intimate with Elliot. She loved him and she knew he would never hurt her but her body wasn't reacting to his touches the way it used to. She was still scared; each touch brought her back to the night of her attack.

Olivia sighed, hating herself for feeling like she this. After all, this isn't Harris; this is Elliot, the man she loves, the man she chooses to be with.

If she could still choose to do so.

"Elliot", she spoke softly. "Elliot, kiss me."

Elliot looked at her in confusion. They had kissed since the attack, he had held her, they still shared a bed but the way she spoke, the urgency; he could tell she wanted more.

Confused, Elliot leaned in to kiss her. Olivia draped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss the way she had the first time they made love.

"Olivia", he said, breaking the kiss. "Liv, what are you doing?"

She chased his lips as he pulled away and he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to keep her at a distance.

"Elliot, please", her voice was so soft. "I need to know. I can't have the last man to have touched me be Harris. I need to know that you still want me, I need to know he didn't take everything."

Elliot sat back in shock. This was not Olivia. The woman before him was unsure, unstable, vulnerable and all together not Olivia. It was then that her words sunk in.

_I need to know that he didn't take everything_.

He had taken her confidence, her security and by denying her, Harris would have taken her intimacy as well.

"Liv, you know I love you and you know I want you", he began slowly, "but I don't want to hurt you either. Its only been a couple of weeks. With everything that has happened, are you sure you're ready?"

Olivia glanced down for a second. Was she? Was she ready to take this step or was she rushing into something out of fear of losing what was left of her control.

She needed that back, she needed to know that she controlled that aspect of her life.

"I'm sure."

Elliot nodded his head and leaned in to capture her lips. His kiss was gentle, allowing her to call the shots.

Her hands snaked down his back as her lips parted for him. His tongue slowly entered, cautious with his every move. He slowly laid her down on the couch, not once breaking the kiss and her hands found the top buttons of his shirt, carefully undoing them one by one.

Elliot tugged at the bottom of her blouse before proceeding to remove it from her. Looking down her could see the fading bruises from the many times Harris had kicked her. Bits of yellow and green marred her skin. There were still spots of purple and healing scratches from gravel she had been thrown on.

For a moment, he wanted to cry. He wanted to hold her and make all of her pain go away.

Olivia watches as his eyes ran over her exposed body. She saw the tears gathering and she was suddenly terrified that he was afraid to tough her; the he was disgusted by her.

Determined to distract him, she placed her hands on his belt buckle and removed it with record speed. she had just begun unbuttoning his slacks when she felt his weight close in on her.

He leaned in to kiss her again, distracting her from her mission with his pants, wanting to take things slow.

She was suddenly very aware of the size difference. Normally, she craved the feel of him but he was everywhere. She couldn't move if she tried.

Elliot slipped his hand down her jeans, testing the waters and Olivia gasped at the contact.

_ This is Elliot. _She told herself. _This is the man you love._

Elliot immediately ceased his motions and held her gaze. Her face was a mixture of love, want, and fear. She drew in a breath and closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down.

His heart broke with each deep breath she took. It shouldn't have to be like this. She shouldn't need to fight through her breathing to make love to him.

After a few moments she nodded her head, signaling for him to continue.

"Are you sure?" He asked again, feeling guilty for having scared her, even for one unintentional second.

She didn't even answer him but instead placed a soft kiss on his lips, releasing in it all the pain and fear from the last few weeks.

He melted into her. There was a spark, now, flowing through them like it had the first time they had made love.

Despite his hesitance, he wasn't going to risk doing anything that might cause for him to lose that spark again.

A high pitched sound brought them out of their reverie. Elliot looked at her, confused, unsure of what the sound was that had stopped them.

And there it was again, as if on Que, the doorbell sounded again.

Elliot looked at Olivia who suddenly looked more uncertain than she had the whole day. She felt so exposed, so vulnerable, so everything she did not want to feel at the moment.

The bell sounded again and Elliot climbed off of her.

Olivia closed her eyes and shook her head at the rolling emotions inside her. Elliot wanted to reach out to her, but he was afraid that his touch would do more harm than good.

The bell sounded again and he slipped on his shirt before walking to the door.

Elliot looked back at her for a moment, catching a glimpse of her shaky form as she fought to regulate her breathing. He considered walking back to her, comforting her, but the incessant bell chimed again.

He opened the door and looked down, surprised to find two girl scouts holding out a box towards him. "How much?" He asked, forever unable to turn down a girl scout seeing as how his daughters had all been one.

"This isn't a box of cookies", said one of the girls, "We were told to give this to Detective Benson."

* * *

**I wonder what that could be? Review? **


	24. Chapter 24

"Police open up!" Shouted Fin as he banged on Justin's door. He didn't even give him time to respond before he rammed into the door, breaking it down. Justin was lying on his couch. Having fallen asleep with the TV on, he was quite surprised at the sudden commotion inside of his apartment and did not have much time to process what was happening.

"You got a lot of nerve, kid", seethed Fin as he approached him.

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything", cried Justin as the last of sleep left him. A uniformed officer pulled him up from the couch and in a instant had him in cuffs. "Please", Justin begged. "Why are you doing this?"

"Why am I- Are you for real?" Fin was practically shaking with rage. "What's wrong with you? Why are you doing this?"

Justin looked at Fin with desperation. "I didn't do anything", he whimpered. "Please."

Fin ignored his plea, images of what was recovered imprinted in his mind. The look on Olivia's face when they arrived at the precinct with the new package, threat, was enough to kill him.

The look in her eyes; it was the same distraught expression she had when he had found her in the basement. He never wanted to see that look on her again but there it was, and Justin had helped put it there.

The Officer lead Justin outside, Fin following closely behind them. Justin's eyes grew wide as they neared the squad car. "I swear", he cried, "Please don't send me back to prison. I'm innocent, please!"

"Innocent", mocked Fin as he closed the car door, "Tell that to Olivia. She got your present and that means we got you."

* * *

**Location - Evidence Lab**

"Blue Chevy Cavalier, license plate number 19H-423B, registered to Justin Sharp. You're lucky the security camera across the street was able to pick it up, the angle was terrible", explained the lab tech while handing Munch the file containing the new found information.

"Yeah, well this is the first bit of luck we have run into. The bastard was close to walking." Munch glanced over the file and shook his head. He held out a picture of the girl scouts talking to the man inside the car. "I don't like this", he said, holding up the photograph. "Those girls walked right up to him. What ever happened to don't talk to people you don't know and stay away from strange cars?"

"Maybe you should talk to their parents"

Munch nodded. "I will." Munch placed the picture back into the envelope and silently thanked God that the girls had not been harmed. "Thanks for your help. I'm going to go see if the girls can identify Justin, just in case this isn't enough."

The tech held up the box that had been delivered to Olivia earlier that day. "And your sure this isn't enough", he mused.

Munch looked down at the box and, more importantly, its contents. He thought back to the scene at Olivia's apartment, how all of her pictures were missing, along with the crotch to her jeans. Staring down at the denim inside of the box made his stomach turn. The fabric was pierced with a knife, coated in dry blood that he could only assume was Olivia's. Accompanying these items was another photo of Olivia, once again desecrated by that animal's seed.

"I don't want to take any chances", Munch began. "He knows where Harris is. He helped him do this. It can't be a coincidence that the day Justin is released Liv gets another threat." Munch stared at the contents once more, pained by the thought of Olivia having opened it, seeing it. "I want to make sure he rots in jail."

* * *

**Location - 16 Precinct**

"You doing okay", asked Elliot.

Olivia was laying down on one of the cots in the cribs. She had been dead silent ever since the package arrived. What was she supposed to say? There was nothing that could take this away, nothing to make her feel better. Every time she strived for normalcy something crashed through and knocked her back off her feet, back to the terror, the hell.

"Elliot, when is this going to end", she asked, knowing it was an unfair question.

"Liv", he began as he laid down next to her on the cot. "We have Justin's car on tape. He knows we've got him, now. Maybe this time he will flip, now that he knows he's going to prison. He will want a deal."

"It's not Justin', she whispered.

Elliot furrowed his eye brows, confused by her words. "What makes you say that? We found the tapes in his apartment. We have him dropping off the package."

"We have his car", she sighed. "It never shows him, we don't have is face."

Elliot's expression still bore confusion but she was far too exhausted to explain herself.

It wasn't Justin, she just knew it.

Olivia sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Elliot?" Her voice was barely audible. "About earlier, I don't- I mean, I just. . . I'm sorry."

Elliot held her close, caressing her back. "Don't be sorry, Liv." Elliot brought his hand to her face, pushing her hair back and grazing her cheek with the back of his hand. "You're just not ready. You'll get there, Olivia, you will."

Olivia leaned into his hand, enjoying his touch. "Elliot", she breathed. "Elliot." His name, a statement, brought her comfort, reassurance. She wanted him, she wanted him so badly, needed to feel his touch, his warmth, his love. "Elliot."

"I'm here, Liv, I'm here." He placed a soft kiss on her lips, his hand now on the back of her neck, keeping her close. "I love you."

"I Love you too, Elliot." Olivia leaned in again to kiss him, her hands resting on his broad shoulders. She could do this, she wanted this, she loved him. Olivia closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. "Elliot", she whispered, "I'm ready."


	25. Chapter 25

"I'm ready", she whispered. Olivia nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck, planting soft kisses on his skin.

Elliot tried to stifle a moan at the contact. He wrapped his arms around her and embraced her lovingly.

"Olivia", he whispered.

She was too close, her kiss was too soft, and her body too tempting. Elliot lowered his hand to her hips, pushing them away from his erection.

"Olivia, you need to stop." Elliot's palms were moist on her skin as the heat in him grew to a roaring fire. Olivia did not let up. She pushed her hips back into him and with her lips on his neck felt the groan catch in his throat. "Olivia."

"Elliot", she breathed. "It's okay. I'm okay"

She ran her hands down his chest as her mouth made its way to his jaw, peppering him with tiny kisses. She felt his body tense as his hands rose to her waist, and caressed her lightly.

She pressed her body against his, hooking one leg behind him. She ran her tongue against his lips and his mouth opened for her. He pulled her closer and with one hand, tangled his fingers in her hair, the other pressing her hips into him.

But when he felt her start to grind against him, he pulled away. It was as if she electrocuted him, sending him flying across the room and away from her.

She looked at him, slight rejection and hurt in her eyes.

Why wouldn't he touch her? Was she too damaged too used?

"Elliot, I can do this, I'm fine. I am."

Elliot looked at her and shook his head. Olivia was stubborn and he knew she was done feeling vulnerable and weak but he wasn't about to let her go through with something that would ultimately hurt her more.

"Elliot", she said again. "I'm fine."

He sighed. "No, Liv, no your not." He walked a little closer to her. "And you're insane if you think I am going to believe you are."

Olivia was crushed. Elliot could see the hurt and embarrassment showing through the stoic expression she was trying so hard keep. Her eyes began to water and she tried with everything she had to stop it. She didn't want to cry anymore, she was tired of feeling weak, she was tired of feeling powerless.

"Why?" She asked in a whisper, no longer trying to stop her tears but instead trying to hide them.

Elliot's mouth hung open but no words came out. How could he tell her? How could her tell her what she already knew, what she had told countless victims? She wasn't thinking straight, she wanted her control back over her life and she was doing anything she could to get it no matter how reckless, no matter how fragile she was.

Olivia didn't wait for him to answer. She took his silence as confirmation of her fears; he just didn't want her anymore. Olivia got up from the cot and buried herself in the corner of the room. She stood there, shaking, trying so hard to keep her composer.

Elliot slowly walked over to her. He reached out to her, and lightly tugged at her wrist.

"Olivia, please look at me." Using her wrist, he gently turned her around to meet his eyes, which mirrored her pain. The hand that held her moved down to lace their fingers together. Olivia looked down at the tender hold. She looked into his eyes, wanting more of his contact, more of his love.

"I understand, Elliot", she said, surprising herself at the strength in her voice. "After everything, I wouldn't want this", she motioned to herself and the bed, "either."

Elliot shook his head. How could she possibly think he didn't wanted her? Hadn't his body's reaction to her touch proven that he did? Hadn't he already proved his love for her?

It was then that Elliot understood, knew, and finally, could speak. "Olivia, I love you." She gave no reaction. "I love you more than you could ever imagine. _That's_ why. It's not that I _won't_ do this _for _you. Its that I _can't_ do this _to_ you. I can't stand the thought of hurting you." He knelt down next to her and joined her hands with his. "You actually think that I don't want you? That proves my point, Liv. You're not thinking straight. How could I not want you? I love you."

Olivia was stunned by his words. She had never seen Elliot Stabler so open, so vulnerable; his words had to be sincere.

Olivia slowly shook her head as the rest of his words sunk in. He was wrong. She was ready; she knew what she was doing and she knew what she wanted.

Elliot, well, he just didn't want to hurt her.

Elliot searched her eyes, trying to find the answer to what she was feeling, what she needed but he saw only her insecurity, her vulnerability, her uncertainty. She needed to be reassured.

She needed to be loved.

Elliot's thumb caressed the back of her hand. He slowly pulled her to him, his hand abandoning hers so he could hold her close. He rubbed her back as he planted a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Liv?" He asked.

He was asking. He was asking her, not rejecting her, not pulling away, not forcing or deciding for her but asking.

He was letting her decide, letting her make a decision, giving her options, giving her what she never thought she would have again: control.

Olivia met his gaze, she smiled lightly and nodded her head. He leaned in to kiss her, cupping her cheek as her lips parted for his. His hands ran up her back and down her arms, taking her hands in his. He placed a quick kiss on her lips before walking to the door and locking it.

He walked back over to her, bent down and rested his hands on the bed on each side of her hips. Her smile matched his and he kissed her.

Her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him down to her. She pushed herself up on the cot, her eyes seductively glimmering at him. He lowered himself onto her, one hand propping himself up the other running up her side.

Her hands flew to his shirt, her lips following her hands as they undid each button. Elliot ran his hand up her back, under her shirt, and undid the clasp of her bra. Once she got his shirt off his hands returned to her waist, working their way up to remove her blouse and with it her bra.

Her hands traveled down his chest till they met his belt. He brought his hands to meet hers as they worked together to remove him of his restraints.

And then their hands were on her, carefully undoing the button and zipper of her jeans. He slid them down her legs, his hands lingering on her skin as he kissed his way back up to her waist.

Elliot placed a gentle kiss below her navel. His hands went under the lace trim of her panties. His fingers danced along her skin as he slid them off of her.

He sat back on the cot, smiling down at her naked body. She was beautiful, in every sense of the word.

His hands went to his boxers, his thumbs slipping between his warm flesh and the fabric. Olivia brought her hands to his. Together, they slipped them off of him, exposing his desire.

Olivia leaned in to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her as he lowed them down onto the bed. Her legs clung to his thighs and they both moaned as he eagerly rubbed up against her entrance.

He gazed down at her, a slight fear inside of him. Olivia sensed his hesitation. She knew he was second guessing her decision.

But that was just it; it was _her_ decision and she wanted this. She wanted him.

Olivia smiled and lifted her head to capture his lips in a passionate kiss; the kind that erased his hesitation, his fear.

Yes it erased his, and, it erased hers.

Elliot slowly pushed himself into her, feeling her cling to him as their bodies moved in unison. For the first time in weeks she hadn't thought of Harris. She felt no pain, no fear, no doubt, only love.

Elliot's love.

She felt her body start to shake with effort as the intense pleasure swelled within her. He drove into her and her moans grew higher as his thrusts sped up.

He placed his lips on hers and she immediately brought her tongue to tangle with his. Elliot felt himself nearing his climax. He ran his hands up her outer thighs, squeezing her curves gently, and reached around her until they met her mid-back. He held her close has he thrust into her for the last few times.

Olivia squeezed her eyes shut as the pleasure took over. She threw her head back as her body began to shake. Even then she could still feel him, inside her, shaking above her from the force of his own climax.

She was panting in his ear, coming down from her high. She let her head fall back onto the pillow and let the warm, content feeling of the moment take over. Elliot smiled at the relaxation on her face. He kissed her softly once more before lifting himself off of her and getting dressed.

He glanced over at her while he was picking up her clothes. She just lay there, happy, content, and exposed. She didn't show any fear, any self-consciousness, and ambiguity. She just lay there. Elliot walked over to her and helped her get dressed, planting gentle kisses on her shoulders as he buttoned up her blouse.

When she was fully dressed he walked back and unlocked the door. He turned around then and smiled at her, striding back over to the cot.

He laid down behind her, her body molding perfectly with his as they drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

* * *

A.D.A. Gillian Hardwicke was sitting at her desk busily typing up a plea agreement in hopes of reaching some sort of compromise between herself and Justin Sharp. She was meeting with him in a little over an hour to discuss the arrangements of the plea: Harris' location for his protection in prison. They had spoken vaguely on the phone just minutes before this and Gillian could sense the urgency in his voice. She figured he had finally had enough of being in the lock up around other dangerous criminals and had come to his senses now that he knew there was no getting out. So, with a light heart and renewed hope, Gillian left her office and headed to the jail where they were holding Justin, looking forward to being able to lock up Harris once and for all.

* * *

**Location - 16 Precinct**

Mathew Parker slowly walked into the precinct, searching for Fin. Spotting him at his desk, Parker stalked over to him, unsure of how the encounter would play out.

"Detective", said Parker, "I have something to tell you."

Fin looked up at him. He saw the hesitancy behind his tough composer. For the first time since they had met, years ago, he saw a genuine emotion his Parker's normally stone cold eyes.

That emotion was fear.

"I'm listening" said Fin.

Parker swallowed hard before speaking. "First off, I want it in writing that I will not be charged for anything."

Fin stood from his chair and stared at Parker in the eyes, a scare tactic he had learned from years of working in law enforcement.

"I tell you what Parker", he began, "that sounds an awful lot like probable cause to me. Certainly enough to get a warrant into your apartment without your information. So why I don't I call our A.D.A and see what she can work out for these crimes but I tell you one thing, this better be one damn good lead. If not your pretty little ass will be sitting in lock up and I'll make sure your cellmates know all about what a delicate little flower you are."

Parker scowled at Fin's words. "I didn't do anything to Benson! So, stop with the threats."

Fin remained stoic. "Well if this isn't about Benson then why are you here?"

Parker sat down in the chair next to Fin's desk. He leaned over and cradled his head in his hands. He took a breath before looking up and speaking. "I got a phone call today but that's all I'm going to say with a written agreement."

Fin scowled agaom and picked up the phone, dialing Hardwicke's number. After several unanswered rings he finally got her voicemail. He hung up the phone and looked at Parker who was nervously chewing on his lip. "She's not answering but this is a precinct and I'm sure there is another A.D.A. around." He saw Parker relax at his words. "Would you like to have legal representation?"

Parker sighed angrily. "What for? I told you I had nothing to do with her. I have nothing to confess."

"Well if you have nothing to confess then how come you want amnesty?" Asked Fin, matching Parker's harsh tone.

Parker shook his head and cleared his throat before speaking. "You are going to have to talk to someone. You saw what went on in there, you know how we were with the inmates. I never raped nobody but you aren't going to hear any kind words from her either."

Fin thought back to his work at the prison. He knew Parker was no saint; at one point he had been a suspect in the rape and murder of Risa Tyler and, of course, the rape of Ashley Tyler. He thought back to the inmates he had spoken to. He thought back to Amber and remembered the hopelessness in her eyes when he asked where Olivia was, he thought back to the girl in the next cell, the one who led him to Olivia. And then it all made sense; Shawna.

Shawna had helped him save Olivia. She led him down to the basement and told him where the guards would take them. She had helped put Harris in a cell of his own.

It was like the words from Olivia's statement came rushing at him in one bold assault..

"_I'm not done, ya know. That little bitch who helped you nail me to the cross is going to get it. I wanted you to know that."_

He had gotten Ashley, the girl who turned him in, the warden, for letting him get taken away in cuffs in front of everybody, Amber, who smiled at his demise, and then there was Olivia, who suffered his wrath to get justice for them all.

"What does Shawna have to do with this?" Asked Fin, already knowing the answer.

Parker looked at him, nodding his head, knowing Fin had pieced it all together. "I'll say nothing", said Parker, "without that agreement."

Fin stood up from his desk, frustrated with Parker's defiance. He walked over to Munch who had just gotten off the phone, shaking his head in disappointment.

"You're not going to believe this", he said.

Fin shook his head, knowing there was more bad news to come. "What's going on?"

Munch motioned to the phone."That was Hardwicke who just called. She's down at the jail. She was going to discuss a plea with Sharp."

Fin's eyes grew wide. "You mean the kid finally confessed?"

Munch shook his head and stood up, grabbing his coat from his chair. "We will never know", he began, "Justin Sharp was murdered in lock up this morning. Warner has the body. I'm heading over there now." Munch glanced over at Parker, confused as to why he was there. "What's with Parker?"

Fin tilted his head, gesturing over to Parker's hunched form. "I'm not sure. He says he got a phone call that he needs to tell us about but he wont talk without a written agreement from Hardwicke. He wants amnesty; guess he hasn't been a good boy after all." They chuckled. "I'm going to call CSU and see if they got his prints on the latest package they sent Liv."

Munch picked up a form off of his desk and handed it to Fin. "Results just came back", he said.

Fin opened the file and scanned it over. He felt the color drain from his face as he looked back at Munch. "This can't be right", said Fin. "Sharp had to have known we could I.D. his car, not to mention the girls could pick out his face in line up. If he was going to send his final threat why would he be so careful?"

Munch shrugged. "Maybe the kid was telling the truth, after all none of the witnesses could I.D. him and we do only have his car on tape. Maybe Sharp wasn't lying."

"We will never know, now", stated Fin, with a grimace.

Munch nodded. "Don't beat yourself up. We all thought he was guilty and he still could be."

Fin handed the file back to Munch who placed on his desk once more. "The only thing we know for sure is that Harris' D.N.A. is on the fabric and his prints, along with Olivia's blood, are on that knife."

"Yeah", said Fin. "His were the only prints that were on that knife, on the package." He sighed. 'Justin never touched it."

* * *

**Review?**


	26. Chapter 26

"Is everyone clear with the arrangements," Asked Hardwicke as she got up to leave the room.

Fin nodded and sat down in one of the chairs in the interview room. Parker sighed before nodding his head and taking the seat across from Fin. It wasn't until Hardwicke left the room that he began speaking.

"I got a phone call today," he began. "It wasn't from Lowell but the guy was asking a lot of weird questions." Parker rested his hands on the desk and leaned forward. "He wanted to know if anyone had picked up the files from the Warden's office. When I told him her office was cleaned out weeks ago he got really angry and started cursing."

Fin nodded to show that he was listening. He had a million questions in his mind but he did not speak; instead he waited in hopes that Parker would answer them.

"He asked about that chick who took you down to the basement. He wanted to know when she got out. That kind of crap wouldn't usually bother me except that the last time someone asked about an inmate's release date she wound up on a slab and I wound up here."

Fin narrowed his eyes, images of Amber's broken body running through his mind. "Did you tell him her release date?"

Parker shook his head. "I lied to him. He got really mad and I don't want to mess with no killer, so I told him she gets out in six months."

Fin leaned in closer and glared at the man before. "And when does she really get out?"

Parker moved his hands from the table and looked down, biting his lip nervously. "Yesterday."

* * *

**Location - Rhiannon Jones' Apartment**

Elliot and Fin walked up the steps to the Harlem apartment door. The place was run down, dirty, the vision of where an ex convict would go after release.

Elliot knocked on the door and winced when he heard the sound of what he guessed were very large dogs barking. "Great", he said to Fin, "Cragen finally lets me do something and I'm going to be eaten by dogs."

Fin let out a small chuckle. "You afraid of dogs, Stabler? I never thought I would see the day."

Elliot smirked at him. He wasn't afraid, not really, he was just frustrated that his actions on the case were so limited. After months of convincing Cragen that he could handle it, he finally got an assignment. Sure, he was just questioning a witness, but it was better than nothing. At least now he could feel like he was helping.

"Maybe you should let me do all the talking,"Elliot began. "After all, she thought you were a corrections officer, she might not trust you."

Fin rang the door bell before turning to Elliot. "Don't worry, Stabler, I wont steal your thunder." Fin smiled, knowing how anxious Elliot was to get on the case. "Just be glad Cragen let you do something other than sit on your ass."

The door swung open a moment latter and an older lady with red, tired eyes answered. "What do you want?" She asked.

"Are you Rhiannon Jones?" Asked Elliot.

The older woman nodded her head but her displeasure was obvious. "Is this about my daughter?" She didn't seem surprised. "Shawna just got home yesterday. She was released; she has her papers."

Elliot nodded. "Shawna isn't in any trouble. We just need to ask her some questions." He waited until her expression softened before speaking again. May we come in?"

The woman nodded and backed into her apartment, allowing them access. "I'll go get her", she said. "Why don't you two have a seat?"

"Thank you ma'am", said Elliot as he and Fin walked over to the sofa.

A soft vibration was heard once they sat down. Elliot reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, reading the name before he answered: Kathy.

Fin watched him as he silenced the call and placed his phone back in his pocket. "What's going on Stabler?" Asked Fin. Normally he wouldn't get involved in the personal lives of his co-workers, but this man was dating the women he considered to be his little sister and despite his discomfort, he needed to make sure she would be okay.

"Its just Kathy", Elliot said dismissively. "She wants to meet for coffee and catch up. I've just been so busy with everything, I haven't had time. I'll call her back later."

Elliot could tell Fin had some questions. After all he never told anybody about the conversation he and Kathy had had in his apartment a few weeks earlier. Fin shook his head, but politely kept his thoughts to himself and Elliot appreciated it.

The floorboards creaked and both men looked into the entryway of the living-room.

"Well I never thought I would see you again", said Shawna, as she entered the room. "Johnson, right?"

Fin stood up and extended his hand with a smile. "Its Tutuola", he began as Shawna accepted his hand, "but you can call me Fin."

Shawna sat down in one of the chairs facing the men. "What's this about?" She asked.

Elliot did not stand but instead held out a picture of Lowell Harris and placed it on the coffee table between the them. He saw Shawna scowl. "Remember him?"

* * *

**Location - Elliot's Apartment.**

Olivia had just gotten out of the shower and was drying off when her phone rang. She didn't want to answer it. She didn't even want to look at it, too afraid of who it might me. The threats made against her had shaken her to the point where something as simple as a new voice-mail had her on edge.

She hated it.

Olivia finished drying off and began getting dressed when her phone sounded again. Still, she did not answer.

It wasn't until she was brushing her hair that she acknowledged the persistent sound, the phone having rang a good four or five unanswered times.

She looked at the caller I.D. before flipping it open and speaking.

"Hi Kathy", she said hesitantly, "Elliot isn't here. Do you want me to give him a message?" She was trying to be polite but it was awkward. She didn't know what Kathy wanted or why she would call her phone.

In reality, Olivia figured she was the single person on the planet that Kathy hated most. Olivia couldn't imagine why she would want to speak to her at all. It didn't help matters when Kathy insisted on coming over and waiting with her until Elliot arrived.

Wanting to be polite and ease the bad blood between them, Olivia begrudgingly agreed to let Kathy come over and wait with her. She hung up the phone and began walking down the stairs into the living room, wanting to straighten things up before her arrival. Her mind was reeling with questions so she did not notice the figure sitting on the couch when she walked into the room.

It wasn't until she heard the chilling voice call for her that she was even aware of its presence.

"Hello Olivia."

* * *

**Dun Dun Dun . . .**


	27. Chapter 27

"Hello Olivia."

Her name, her real name, the way it fell from his lips made her sick. Her back was facing him; she did not want to turn. She couldn't bare to look at him, see him again.

She heard him get up from the couch, deciding then to face him, she turned. Her eyes met Harris' angry form, making her stomach churn.

"No", she cried, "No."

He kept his stance, not advancing, just waiting, watching, enjoying the terror he had instilled in her. He smiled, reveling in his power. "You look awful", he mocked. "I take it you weren't expecting me."

Olivia just looked through him, unable to meet his sadistic glare. Her bottom lip began to tremble as he advanced on her, slowly walking forward. Olivia backed up and away from him, unknowingly trapping herself against the wall.

When there was nowhere left to go, he closed in, pinning her against the wall. She let out a small yelp when he slammed his hand into the wall by her head. He leaned into her, his face inches away from hers.

She want to scream, she wanted to fight but she was frozen, literally paralyzed by fear. All her years of training left her as she stood eye to eye with her rapist. He leaned in to kiss her, her mouth forced open by the scream begging to come out.

He laughed as he pulled away from her quivering lips.

That laugh.

Olivia went weak from the sound of it, her knees buckled as she slid down the wall. Harris used his body to pin her slumping form. He brought his hands to cup her face and brushed his thumbs across her tear-stained cheeks.

And there it was, the most terrifying and joyful sound she had ever heard, it could mean her safety, it could mean her demise. Her fate rested on the on the person responsible for creating the sound, for ringing the doorbell.

"Olivia, I know you are in there", called Kathy from outside the door. "I'm not going away until you talk to me."

Olivia's heart fell into her stomach.

Kathy: Olivia had completely forgotten that she was coming over. She was outside, Harris was inside and Olivia was trapped with him. "Olivia, I just want to talk. Please open the door."

Olivia looked at Harris, unsure of what he would do if she had answered the door. She wanted to scream, tell Kathy that she needed help but she couldn't; not if it meant putting Kathy in danger.

Harris pulled out a gun from his pocket and waved it at her. "Don't make a sound", he commanded. Olivia nodded and bit her lip, trying to silence her cries.

The Doorbell sounded again and Harris jammed the barrel against her forehead, pulling back on the hammer. Olivia let out a muffled cry at the clack of the gun, knowing this was it. Harris clamped his hand over her mouth and pressed the gun harder against her.

"Not a sound", he whispered. "Or I'll do her too."

Olivia nodded and forced herself not to scream, hoping that Kathy would soon be gone and out of danger.

Again the bell rang and Harris growled in frustration. He unconsciously lowered the gun as his focus turned towards the door.

"She's not going to leave", whispered Olivia, hoping to distract him long enough to get away, or at the very least disarm him.

Harris pulled her from the wall and hauled her over to the door, the gun now pressed against her back. "Tell her to leave", he growled. "Make her go away or I invite her to join us." He punctuated his sentence with a jab of the gun.

Harris' threat shook her to the core. She couldn't let that happen, she couldn't let one more person suffer at his hands. Olivia swallowed hard and nodded before opening the door.

She met Kathy's flared expression as she struggled to keep her composer. Kathy could see the terror on her face; the red, puffy eyes that told her Olivia had been crying, and immediately softened her expression. "Olivia", she breathed. "Are you okay?"

Olivia felt the gun press harder into her back, making her wince. "I- I'm fine, Kathy." She cleared her throat and forced some bite into her voice. "What do you want?"

"Olivia, I just wanted to talk to you." Kathy's voice was gentle but carried a hint of annoyance at Olivia's new-found harsh tone. "May I come in?"

"No", shouted Olivia. "I have nothing to say to you. You have no business being here. Leave!"

"Olivia", exclaimed Kathy. "What is the matter with you? Why are you being like this?"

Harris leaned in and Olivia could feel his hot breath on her neck.

"I don't have to explain myself; least of all to you. Leave Kathy! Now", she repeated. Her emotions were getting the best of her as she felt Harris' hand run up her back. She tried with everything she had to muster up courage to yell, anything if it meant that Kathy would leave and be safe, but she could only manage a whisper, a quiet plea conveying her desperation. "Please."

It was the way she said it. Something in the way her cry fell from her lips told Kathy that something was indeed very, very wrong. "Olivia", her voice was filled with concern, "What's going on?"

She didn't have time to answer. In a split second Harris had thrown her back and pulled Kathy in to collapse next to Olivia on the floor. He pointed the gun at the two and smirked.

"You should have listened to her", mocked Harris. "Things would have been so much better for you if you had just left."

Kathy's watering eyes met Olivia's as she silently asked the question that she already knew the answer to: this was the man that had raped her.

"But since you are here", he began, "lets have some fun.

* * *

**Location: Jone's Apartment**

"What happened?" Asked Shawna as she stared at the picture in her hands. At the sight of him her face turned pale. She pushed the picture back towards Fin. The second it was out of her sight her hardened jail house expression returned. "I haven't seen that son of a bitch since he got hauled out for attacking Kat. I heard he's doing twenty in a cell of his own; I have to remember to thank her for getting that bastard out. Kat was a bad ass."

"Olivia", began Fin, "Her name is Olivia and he was never charged with attacking her. He was arrested for raping Ashley Tyler."

"Risa's daughter?"

Fin nodded before taking out another picture; the one of Justin Sharp. "Have you heard from anything from Harris or this man recently?"

Shawna took the picture and stared at it intently. "Naw, I don't know this guy and I haven't heard anything from Harris. What's this all about?"

Fin looked at Elliot who was answering a text message on his phone. Fin smirked at him. _Probably checking up on Olivia. _He thought. She had only been alone for a little over an hour. There was a uniformed officer parked outside of his apartment keeping an eye on her and still he insisted on checking on her every fifteen minutes.

Deciding Elliot was now useless to the conversation, Fin turned to Shawna to answer her himself. "Olivia was attacked. This man is named Justin Sharp. We think he was working with Harris to get to her."

Shawna sighed. "Is she okay?"

Again Fin looked at Elliot, wondering why he was so involved in what seemed to be a never ending text. "No", Fin answered. "She was raped and left for dead. She survived but he hasn't left her alone since. He's been sending her threats and we think he is going to come after her again. We were just wondering if you know anything, if anybody said anything to you."

Shawna shook her head. "Why would he say anything to me? What do I have to do with this?"

Elliot stood from the couch and walked away with the phone to his ear. Fin gazed at him with a slight hint of confusion on his face. He turned back to Shawna before answering. "He's attacking everyone who helped put him in prison. Since you're the one who lead me down to the basement, you could be in trouble."

Shawna shook her head at his words, as if contemplating her next move. "Let the bastard come." her voice held a bitter anger. What's he gonna do that he hasn't done already?"

Fin sighed. "It's not that simple. He isn't just raping them, so far every one of his victims has died except for Olivia."

"I don't care", she stated. "Let him come for me. Olivia put her ass on the line and got justice for all of us. That's something you don't forget. Now its my turn. Let me get justice for her."

Fin smiled. He admired Shawna's bravery, even knowing her plan was risky and more than likely impossible due to Parker's lie about her release date, he admired her.

"Fin we got to go", said Elliot sternly as he marched back into the room.

Fin looked at Shawna and then back at Elliot. "What's going on?"

Elliot dialed Olivia's number once more but he immediately hung up at her voice mail. "Liv isn't answering her phone", he began. "Lizzie just sent me a text, trying to reach Kathy. She said Kathy was at my place. She isn't answering and neither is Olivia."

Fin stood up, but was careful to keep a neutral expression . "She's probably fine", he said, trying to ease Elliot's concerns. "Radio the patrolman outside the place and ask him to check up on her."

At his words, Elliot's blood went cold. "I did", he said, "there was no answer."

* * *

"Harris please!" Olivia cried as he pulled Kathy from the floor.

Harris had Kathy pinned against the wall, the petite blonde too petrified to fight. He ran his hands up her clothed body, loving as she trembled against him. Kathy let out a small whimper. It was barely audible but Olivia still heard it.

She couldn't look, watch. Harris was going to hurt Kathy, rape her right in front of Olivia and all she could do was sit there and listen. The gun was pressed against the blondes head and Olivia knew that if she moved, Harris could easily pull the trigger.

She closed her eyes.

Olivia felt the bile rising in her throat. She choked it back as she remembered when Harris had first attacked her in the basement; Kathy being in quite a similar position. She remembered how much she fought, how scared she was, how much she wished someone would bust in there and get that monster the fuck off of her.

No, she couldn't watch, she couldn't bare to see Kathy become what she had fought so hard not to be: a victim.

That was it, the realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

Victim.

She dealt with them everyday. After all she was a cop, a special victims detective, but she was no special victim and Harris was no special perp. It was time for her to stand up and do her job; do what she had to do in order to save Kathy.

"Let her go!" Olivia was surprised at her voice, the strength and command behind it. Harris stopped and smirked. He had Kathy's blouse in his fists, ready to rip it from her, but he released his grip and he stared at Olivia.

"Harris let her go now. She doesn't need to be here. I'm the one you want."

Harris smiled before throwing Kathy to the floor. He walked towards Olivia, expecting her to flinch away but she held her stance. He leaned into her, his hot breath surrounding her face. She wanted to gag but the searing hatred and anger pulsing through her masked any other function she had.

She wanted him dead. She wanted him to pay and dammit she would make him.

Even if it was the last thing she would ever do.

* * *

**Location - outside of Elliot's Apartment.**

Fin and Elliot pulled into the parking lot at nearly twice the speed limit. Elliot didn't even wait for the car to come to a complete stop before he jumped out and began running through the complex halls, thankful that his apartment was on the first floor.

Fin sought out the patrolman that was supposed to be watching Olivia. Finding the squad car, he ran up to the vehicle in hopes of finding an unharmed officer.

His fears were confirmed as he laid eyes on the corpse before him.

Two bullets, that's what it took to kill him; two gun shots to the head that was now nearly obliterated.

His heart sank into his stomach as the familiar bang sounded through the air once more as more gun shots were heard in the distance.

One, two, three were rang out.

And then there was silence, no screaming, no radio for help, nothing.

Just silence.


	28. Chapter 28

It was with a sickening thug that Harris and Olivia went tumbling to the floor. She didn't know what hurt worse, the searing pain in her torso from her once healing ribs, or the cause of that pain: Harris' heavy body, once again, on top of hers.

"Get off me!" She screamed.

Harris sat back, straddling her as he began undoing his shirt. Panic gripped her

_No, not again. _She thought. _Not ever again._

Olivia took advantage of his distracted state and lunged at him, using both of her hands to form a vice around his neck as she pivoted her body forward, knocking him back.

His breath left him as his back collided with the hard wood floor. Olivia drew back her fist before slamming it into his jaw, feeling his mouth give way as several teeth crumbled beneath her fingers. Every emotion from the past weeks that she had tried to fight off poured out of her as her fists continued to slam into him.

She could see their faces now.

Each one of Harris' victims flashed into her vision punch after punch after punch. She saw herself, trapped in the basement, Risa in the morgue, Ashley crying on the precinct stairs, Amber in her parking stall, the warden on a slab, the smirk on Harris' face, the horror on hers as she gazed on Ashley's lifeless body in the garden.

Ashley

And then, it was her own face she saw, terrorfied as she was forced onto her back by the tyrant that was now below her.

She felt the phantom of his hands on her body, the pain of him inside her, the degradation, terror, agony, everything rose to a crescendo as her fists collided with her attacker.

It wasn't until the first shot was fired that her vision came back. She looked down at the bloodied mess that was Harris. She noticed, through the red and past his broken skin, that he was smiling.

"I got you." He growled, weakly.

His words didn't even register. All she knew was that he was smiling and he had a gun.

Olivia screamed as she moved to pry the weapon from his hands. Another shot fired and Olivia yelped as the bullet sped past her and into the lamp on the end table by the couch.

"Bitch!" Screamed Harris as he struggled with her for the gun.

Olivia was relentless, her body screamed in protest as her actions strained her aching form. Still, she would not give up.

Harris rolled them over and positioned the gun to her forehead.

Olivia's eyes grew wide and she kicked from under him, sending a knee straight into his groin.

Harris doubled over in pain as he coughed and gagged from the impact of the blow.

In an instant, Olivia rolled out from underneath him and quickly got to her feet before kicking the gun from his hands, sending it flying.

She brought her foot into his side, delivering the crushing blow he had given her just a few weeks ago.

"How does it feel!" She screamed as another foot went flying.

Harris rolled away from her, propelling his body towards the abandoned gun. Olivia chased after him, kicking the gun from his hands just as the third shot fired. He grabbed her knees and pushed forward, sending Olivia to the ground to join him.

She gasped for air as her body hit the floor. Her adrenalin was waning as she felt Harris on top of her once again. She couldn't breathe. What little air she had left was pushed out of her as Harris' body moved to crush hers. It was with her last bit of strength that she moved, up to head butt him, before completely pushing his body off of hers.

She heard the thug of his body as he fell back onto the hardwood floor.

And then it was like a dream, Elliot busting in and securing Harris' motionless form in handcuffs before moving to her. He held her close, not bothering to hide the tears that gathered at the corners of his eyes.

Olivia felt dizzy. Her body giving in to the exhaustion as she finally grasped Harris' words.

_I got you._

She didn't know. She couldn't tell, everything just hurt so much, she didn't notice. Olivia pulled back from Elliot, her eyes wide with fear as she tried to communicate her terror.

"What is it, Liv", asked Elliot, in a horrified voice. From what he could see, she was bloody and bruised. His eyes searched her body, documenting her injuries.

"He- he", Olivia stammered. "He got me."

Elliot pulled back his eyes rapidly scanning over her for the wound.

"No", cried a soft, pained voice from the corner of the room. "No, he didn't."

There attention turned and it was then that they saw Kathy, on the floor, hunched over with her hands clutching her bleeding side.

"He missed."


	29. Chapter 29

Elliot paced the length of Olivia's hospital room, anxiously awaiting the news on Kathy's condition. They had arrived at Mercy over two hours ago and Kathy was immediately rushed into surgery while Olivia was taken for a CAT scan to check for any other injuries.

Harris was taken to a different hospital where he will be kept in the prison ward with an armed officer just outside of his room at all times.

Elliot decided he couldn't talk to him, question him. Instead, Fin and Munch would pay him a visit later.

Elliot gazed at Olivia's sleeping form. She looked so peaceful. Since she had arrived at the hospital, Olivia had barely stayed conscious. The doctors said it was her body's way of coping with the trauma she had endured. She need to heal, needed to recover from everything that had happened to her.

All of it.

Elliot sat down in the chair beside her bed, cradling his head in his hands. He knew she would be fine, physically anyway, but the sight of her lying back in the hospital made his heart ache. How much more would she have to endure before she finally got justice.

"Hey Daddy", said Lizzie from the doorway.

Elliot looked up and smiled at his daughter, trying to comfort her with his warm gaze.

"Cragen said I would find you here."

Elliot motioned for his daughter to join him on the wide hospital chair. He cradled her as if she were a child, knowing she must be terrified for her mother.

"Where's Dickie and Eli", Elliot asked.

Lizzie snuggled up in her father's arms. "Dickie took Eli to get some juice from the cafeteria They should be here any minute." Lizzie looked at Olivia, her mind reeling with questions and concern. "Is she ok?"

Elliot nodded his head before speaking. "Yeah, Lizzie, she's going to be fine. She just needs to rest."

It was then that her lip began to tremble. "And mom?"

Elliot held his youngest daughter close. He wanted to tell her that everything would be fine, that Kathy was laughing and smiling when she was brought in instead of bleeding and unconscious. He wanted to tell her that he knew she would be alright, but the truth was he didn't know.

Luckily he didn't have to answer. Both Elliot and Lizzie turned to the door at the sound of footsteps and smiled meekly at the two walking in.

"Hey Dad", said Dickie as he entered the room, Eli in his arms. "The doctor is outside. He wants to talk to you."

Elliot sat up from the chair and walked over to his boys, giving each one a hug before exiting the room to speak with Kathy's doctor.

Dickie walked over to Lizzie who was still sitting in the chair fighting back nervous tears. He sat down next to her on the chair, placing a hand on her shoulder and giving her a comforting squeeze.

Although they fought, as most siblings do, she was still his sister, his twin, and she needed her brother to comfort her as they awaited the fate of there mother.

Elliot came back into the room a moment later, a stoic expression on his face as he motioned his children out of the room and into the hall.

* * *

**Location - St. Peter's Hospital**

Fin gazed upon Harris' battered face; a smirk on the detective's lips as he stared. He would have loved to have seen Olivia pound his broad features into the twisted ones he was now staring at. Fin turned towards Munch, who sported the same smirk, the same images, obviously rolling through his mind.

Harris glared at the detectives. He knew what they were thinking; he knew how bruised and broken he was. Still, he was determined to get the last words, salvage what was left of his pride.

"I'm not answering your questions", growled Harris, trying to provoke a savaged response.

"We don't need them", stated Fin. "We have your DNA, two eye witnesses, and your semen on the little care packages you sent Olivia. You're going to prison for life, twenty three hour lock down in an eight by ten cell with someone just as sick but twice as deprived as you."

Munch smiled at his partner's words. He looked at Harris, expecting to see fear, anger, rage, or even shock, anything except for what was currently on the bastard's face: a smile.

"Its not over", said Harris. "Not even close."

"What, you think your getting out of here?" Munch asked, sarcastically. "If you think you are going to be left alone for even a second you have another thing coming. You're stuck. You lost. Get over it because you are never going near Detective Benson again and neither is your little buddy. In case you haven't heard, Justin was murdered in jail; the same place you are going. He can't help you."

Harris smiled at the mention of Justin. He matched Munch's stare with his cold, dead eyes. He chuckled lightly at the furry he saw on the detective's face. "Its not over."

* * *

**Location - Mercy Hospital**

She looked so peaceful, sleeping so soundly. He didn't even think an earthquake could wake her. He walked over to her and extended his hand to caress her cheek.

She didn't stir.

He moved his hand to her hair, his gentle touch quickly turning violent as he seized one of the locks.

Olivia let out a small moan and her breathing hitched.

At the motion, he quickly released her hair and backed away.

_Not yet. _He thought. _You'll have your moment. Just not yet, but, soon._

With that comforting thought in mind, the man exited the room and turned down the hall, walking past Elliot and his kids who were carrying an assortment of flowers and get well soon cards. The man smiled as he watched the family continue down the hall, stopping for a moment in Olivia's room, then continuing downward.

He chuckled.

_Soon._


End file.
